Fun fact: When I was in 5th grade, my Little League teammates called me “The Animal.” I’m pretty sure it stemmed from one particular collision at home plate, but whatever. The important thing is that when I came up to bat, the boys on our bench would sing a commercial jingle attached to a badass toy truck of the same name.
It went:
The Animal!
The Animal!
Can anything stop (bum-ba-bum-bum)
The Animal?
I was frequently stopped, but it felt pretty awesome to walk to the plate with that accompaniment.
Anyway, as Chris Carter transitions from Quadruple-A slugger and Internet cause du jour to full-fledged folk hero, I think it would be cool to revisit the work started by the Halperin Shoes squad back in 1991. I don’t propose he replace “Real American” as his walk-up music since that’s part of his appeal, but the jingle should be used to celebrate his on-field accomplishments.
I don’t know how to make this stick since I’m certain I don’t have that type of reach. But after Chris Carter gets a hit, sing a round of “The Animal.” You’ll look crazy at first, but tell all your friends and see if you can get it to catch on. It’s catchy, after all, and a great way to celebrate the super-intense, Stanford-educated grandson of an endearing blind man.
It goes like this:
Tedquarters 
If Carter could grow claws when facing an obstacle, we’d have had one hell of a first inning yesterday, instead of making a defensive highlight-macher out of Shelley friggin’ Duncan.
So, I suppose what I’m saying is that midsized rookie catchers can apparently stop the Animal.
Or, y’know, at least force him into a bad, slightly-wussy hookslide.
How great would it be if real 4 wheel drives had claws like that?
I’m glad I wasn’t the only 5th grader who routinely bowled over the catcher. Of course, back in my little league, you were automatically out if you didn’t slide into home plate. Worth it.
I’m pretty sure we had that rule, too, but I don’t think it was frequently enforced by the teenage umpires our town employed.
The collision in question was particularly awesome, because it was with a catcher who had been talking trash all game, and whom I promised to run over. I tripled, then came charging home on a grounder back to the pitcher. Most definitely the highlight of my terrible baseball career.
Mine was in the AAA championship game, and it came against my best friend. Trying to score from third on a wild pitch is not so easy when it’s about six feet from plate to the cage.
“Anything to help the team win!” – Chris Carter himself.
For those in attendance and for the Millions and Millions of Cartermaniacs watching at home, the animal approves.
How ironic that our Animal tried and missed the collision at the plate last night!
I will do my best to make this song stick. And Ted, I’m from Thornwood, did you play in Sherman Park Little League? Either way, come drink with us in White Plains after the game!!!
I didn’t – I’ve only been in Westchester since August. I do enjoy booze, though, but tonight I’m in Brooklyn.