I know you’ve been wondering how they stack up, so here it is: A tale of the tape measuring Robert Alan Dickey against Jacques, the friendly resident advisor on the fourth floor of the New South Dormitory at Georgetown University in the 1999-2000 academic year.
| R.A. Dickey | Jacques the R.A. | |
|---|---|---|
| Headwear | Mets cap | Bucket hat |
| Enjoys reading | Yes | Yes |
| Beard | Yes | Varying |
| Weapon of choice | Knuckleball | Student-conduct citations |
| Widely appreciated facial gesture | Makes hilarious face while throwing | Looks the other way while you’ve got a backpack that’s obviously filled with beer |
| Dislikes | Being pulled from a game early due to injury | Hall sports |
| Willingness to let you play Bond on his N64 | Unknown | Frequent |
| Skills | Controlling knuckleballs at multiple speeds, fielding position, flummoxing opposing hitters | Playing various musical instruments, pulling off tie-dye, maintaining an interesting tumblr |
| Fun fact
|
Has no ulnar collateral ligament | Introduced me to coffee milk |
Tedquarters 
Bond on the N64, one of the all time greatest video games in history.
As far as shooters go, Unreal Tournament’s my personal favorite. And does anyone remember (or even play) Descent?
No I never played those, they are computer games correct?
I dont consider computer games ‘video games’. To me they are a different animal. Bond was really the first shooter game, where you could split the screen and have 4 guys playing side by side etc.
Ooooooooh, good call Shamik. Descent was the network game of choice on my freshman floor, though it seemed like Doom and Duke Nukem were more popular elsewhere.
Goldeneye on the N64 was awesome, though.
Seconded.
Golden Gun FTW.
Maybe we can convince RA Dickey to let a bunch of Tedquarters readers come play Bond on his N64.
No oddjob.
Slappers only!
This is hilarious.
What in blazes is “coffee milk?”
(Googling)
Coffee-flavored milk? Really? What’s the point?
It’s good. Chocolate ice cream:chocolate milk::coffee ice cream:coffee milk.
Apropos of nothing, a bucket hat is quite youthifying. I don’t know why, but if I’m wearing a bucket hat, I get carded. If I’m not, I don’t. This doesn’t seem to be the case with any other style of hat.