Jessica Olmstead puts Miley Cyrus to shame

I bet Miley Cyrus feels like she has accomplished a lot for a 17-year-old. She has sold billions of records, starred in a hit TV show, toured with the Jonas Brothers, and managed to live 17 years as the daughter of the guy who sang “Achy Breaky Heart” — likely exposed to that song countless times — and resisted going totally berserk.

But she has got nothing on Jessica Olmstead of Battle Creek, Mich.:

A 17-year-old Michigan girl began her big game hunting career with a bang — or rather a whoosh — by killing a 448-pound black bear with a bow and arrow from 16 yards away….

Her father, Tim Olmstead, told The Associated Press that his daughter eats the animals she hunts, including the bear, and does not kill just for fun.

He told the paper he’s been teaching others to hunt for more than 30 years and that he’s never had a student pick up the fundamentals as quickly as his daughter.

“I’m not just saying this because she’s my daughter,” he said. “But she’s probably one of the best listeners I’ve every taught. With the bear she showed a lot of patience. She tracked the bear, killed it, and gutted it like a pro.”

Wow. “Tracked the bear, killed it, and gutted it like a pro.” Wow.

Obviously I’ve come to grips with the fact that we kill animals for meat and I benefit by eating the delicious meat. I don’t think I could actually hunt though. I imagine once I got the animal in the sight or whatever, I’d wimp out.

It’s not any type of moral or ethical high ground since, like I said, I’m probably going to have a cheeseburger for lunch, plus I realize that in places like upstate New York they need people to hunt to control animal populations. I just don’t think I’d want to watch something that big and grand die at my hands, and it freaks me out a bit when, during hunting season in Vermont, you’ll sometimes see a guy drive by in a pickup truck with like six dead deer stacked in the back.

Closest I’ve come is firing guns in a shooting range, which is pretty awesome. I went with Rich the aforementioned Navy man with whom I am competitive, among others. They let you pick out what type of target you want to shoot at. Some look like regular targets, some like animals, some like home intruders, some like Osama Bin Laden; a pretty predictable gamut for a Northern Virginia gun range. But they also had zombies, so we obviously picked zombies.

Anyway, the zombies had circles on their chests that you were supposed to shoot at, and after we pulled them back Rich and some of the other guys were bragging about who had the most shots closest to the bull’s eye. You idiots! Why are you aiming for those circles? That’s only going to piss the zombies off more. I was apparently the only one there aiming for the head, which is how you actually stop the zombies from advancing. I even got a couple of neck shots in that might have severed the head, which would be ideal.

10 thoughts on “Jessica Olmstead puts Miley Cyrus to shame

  1. “his daughter eats the animals she hunts, including the bear, and does not kill just for fun.”

    Bull. She kills animals for fun. So do all non-professional hunters (and fishermen) that live in places where food can be bought for less than the price of a hunting trip (ammo + supplies + gas to get wherever you’re going (or other transportation costs,) + the prorated price of hunting equipment, licences, camouflage, etc + the price of the FOOD you’ll bring on the trip). Just because she’ll eat/wear parts of the animals she kills doesn’t mean she’s not doing it for fun. I mean, she used a freaking bow and arrow to kill this bear. That’s just sadistic.

    • Well to her credit, the article says “does not kill just for fun” which kind of implies that she finds the killing fun but also reaps additional benefits from the killing.

      • Then again, I’m sure she’s not eating bear because it tastes so good/is so nutritious or whatever, but rather because she thinks eating a bear she killed is fun. If you’re not killing to survive or make your living, you’re killing for fun.

  2. “Her father, Tim Olmstead, told The Associated Press that his daughter eats the animals she hunts, including the bear, and does not kill just for fun.”

    She must have quite an appetite if she’s going to eat a 448-pound bear.

  3. While one would not expect to change your mind about hunting, you probably don’t think twice about playing a video game that involves killing people. You probably watch the news and don’t blink an eye during the evening news as the broadcasters air the list of names of those murdered in many towns across our country. I am a female and I shoot a bow as well. To do what this young lady does takes determination to hone her skill for accuracy. Above the harvesting of an animal comes the quality, serene time of being in the woods. No cell phones, no tvs, no video games and so on. By the vast number of cows, chickens, pigs and fish that are consumed by Americans each and everyday, I would venture to say, while you don’t personally hunt, you do one better and PAY someone else to pop the 22 bullet in the brain of that cow trapped in a cowtrap. Just try getting out into the out-of-doors, the fresh air and the quietness of the forest just may change your mind.

    Mom in South Carolina

    • Since His Tedness linked back here and this comment deserves a response, I’ll throw my two cents in again (four cents, then?).

      “I am a female and I shoot a bow as well. To do what this young lady does takes determination to hone her skill for accuracy.”

      You shoot a bow? Good for you. As a former marine and an owner of multiple firearms I understand and appreciate the skill, patience and dedication to craft involved in marksmanship. I also throw darts, an activity that probably shares a whole mess of required skill sets as shooting bows and arrows. But I don’t need to throw darts at dogs and cats to enjoy doing it. You want to shoot arrows, do what I do with my rifles: go to the range. Shoot targets. It’s every bit as challenging and nothing has to die a horrible, painful death.

      “Above the harvesting of an animal comes the quality, serene time of being in the woods. No cell phones, no tvs, no video games and so on.”

      I love being in the woods, enjoying time in the fresh air, being away from TVs, video games, etc. It’s called camping, and like target shooting, it doesn’t require blood, death, pain, etc.

      “By the vast number of cows, chickens, pigs and fish that are consumed by Americans each and everyday, I would venture to say, while you don’t personally hunt, you do one better and PAY someone else to pop the 22 bullet in the brain of that cow trapped in a cowtrap.”

      As unethical and sadistic as I find hunting, it IS a whole lot more ethical than factory-farmed meat, and probably significantly more ethical than so-called “ethical” meat production. This is the very reason I stopped eating meat, wearing leather, buying down pillows, using animal-fat soaps, etc. etc. I couldn’t reconcile feeling the way I do about hunting and continuing to participate in the much crueler mass slaughter of animals for products. So, in a sense, I agree with you. We should stop doing both.

      “Just try getting out into the out-of-doors, the fresh air and the quietness of the forest just may change your mind. Mom in South Carolina”

      There’s more than a touch of troll-i-ness in this little coda here. The implication those that don’t hunt never go outdoors combined with the deliberate inclusion of your location codes this as an outdoors-y “real” person who knows what she’s talking about vs. an elite-ish indoors-y person who is out of their depth. It’s a broad (and inaccurate) generalization and probably shouldn’t have been included.

      I just spent waay to much time writing this.

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