Two-timing Chilean miner Yonni Barrios went from being trapped a half-mile underground to real trouble when the first person who greeted him after he was rescued Wednesday was his mistress — not his wife.
Barrios gave a smiling Susan Valenzuela a smooch seen around the world moments after he was released from the rescue capsule.
Smiling broadly even as the TV cameras broadcast his betrayal of wife Marta Salinas, Barrios did not appear perturbed that his love triangle had exploded into a soap opera with an international following.
– Corky Siemaszko and Bill Hutchinson, N.Y. Daily News.
Seriously? So the Daily News apparently set out to find the seediest possible angle to the most heartwarming story in recent memory, and the best they could dig up was that one of the 33 miners was separated from his wife and now has a new girlfriend. This gets the front page, with the incredible headline “HOLE-Y SNIT!” and an overlay reading “RED HOT IN CHILE!”
Amazing.
I mean, not to get all high and mighty or anything, but this guy was trapped in a f#@$ing mine for 70 days. Now you’re plastering the details of his personal life on the cover of a paper thousands of miles away? I don’t know what type of freaky escapade he’d have to endeavor immediately upon surfacing to get me to judge him, but it’d have to be something way, way more foul than kissing his girlfriend because he’s separated from his wife.
I love this newspaper. I really do. I know I rip it a lot here but it’s only because I read it every morning. I thought about splurging for the Times today because I knew not a lot happened in sports last night and I wasn’t all that excited to read even more about A.J. Burnett, but I’m so happy I stayed loyal. The gray lady covered the same story, but without the News’ trademark punch.
And it’s comforting to me to know that — though I haven’t checked — the Post has likely already assigned Yonni Barrios some ridiculous nickname like “The Cavern Casanova” and by tomorrow will be three cycles past his current marital issues and onto sordid details of the orgies he hosted in college or something.
It’s an exciting time to be alive.
Tedquarters 
I haven’t read any of the particulars about this guy and his drama, but are you sure it was all so proper? I have a news junkie friend who has been cackling about this guy for a month now – that one of the miners had both a wife and a mistress show up as his beloved, and what a pickle he’d be in when he came up. It’s a splendid element of the story (way distant to the wonderful fact that they all got out, of course).
Arcadia reference?
what the heck does hole-y snit mean??