I will never be President; I will never be a football player. But I am a White Castle Hall of Famer.
OK, there’s really so much here. First off, who knew White Castle even had a Hall of Fame? Apparently the ceremonies will be at White Castle’s home office in Columbus, Ohio — the fast-food equivalent of Mecca — and there are 67 White Castle enthusiasts enshrined in the Cravers Hall of Fame.
Second, why the hell isn’t my dad in the White Castle Cravers Hall of Fame? The Daily News article says Gradowski earned the honor for eating five cheeseburgers a week for four years. That’s what, a thousand White Castle cheeseburgers?
My dad has been eating White Castle for like 50 years; I’d venture to guess he has at least quadrupled Gradowski’s total. Dude has an iron stomach. Next year I’m nominating Don Berg for the White Castle Cravers Hall of Fame.
I certainly get The Crave sometimes, and when White Castle was my nearest fast-food place in Brooklyn I went there with some frequency, but I’d hardly say I qualify for the Hall of Fame. Taco Bell, though, is a different story. Does Taco Bell have a Hall of Fame?