I am dumbstruck. I am rendered silent by astonishment. If these Mets sucked any harder, they would… I can’t even come up with anything clever. They sucked really hard tonight.
And look: No one needs to remind me it’s early, and 17 games, you know, whatever. 0-1 in an NFL season. A bunch of these players can’t perform this poorly all year. There’s a whole ton of randomness at play. I get all that. I still don’t believe in any rational part of my mind that the Mets are going to lose 120 games like so many nabobs only-half-jokingly say.
But man, they’re getting harder and harder to defend. Scott Hairston makes Jeff Francoeur look like, I don’t know, someone who can actually hit a little. Tim Byrdak makes Pedro Feliciano look like Lefty Grove. Chin-Lung Hu is getting pinch-hit at-bats with runners on base.
When they hit, they don’t pitch. When they pitch, they don’t hit. On the rare occasion they both hit and pitch, they don’t play defense or run the bases. It’s miserable.
Hell, it’s one thing when you lose to a hot Rockies team while Troy Tulowitzki is homering every time he even looks at the ball. It’s one thing when you can say, “Oh, well Josh Johnson, that’s one of the best pitchers in baseball.” It’s quite another when you’re embarrassed at the hands of the Astros.
I’m overreacting, I know. But I’m about to go downstairs and hear Terry Collins try to rationalize this one, again, try to say the Mets are better than this and insist the Mets will eventually win games. And it’s just getting boring.
Not the baseball games themselves; those are never boring. Just the whole routine. I’m bored of trying to convince Mets fans that the team doesn’t suck when nearly everything it has done on the field so far suggests otherwise.
I probably won’t stop. I’m just not really up for it tonight. At least Carlos Beltran is still totally sweet.