I’ve mentioned this before: For some reason that never seemed strange in middle school, there was a petting zoo in the basement and courtyard of my middle school. Nothing seems strange in middle school because everything is strange in middle school. You don’t even notice that half of your teachers are certifiably insane, driven mad by years of dealing with jackass middle schoolers. You just show up and suffer or enjoy their peculiarities because it’s middle school and everything sucks and you have no other option.

Anyway, there were goats in the courtyard and one time after football practice, my friend set them loose. My locker was across from the courtyard entrance, and I saw him right before he did it. I think the conversation went like this:

“Yo Berg, I’m going to free the goats.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“OK.”

And then he did. My other friend showed up for a basketball practice later that evening and saw a rooster in the boys’ bathroom. Before the custodians could round up the goats, they had eaten an entire art project off a wall. The goats, that is, not the custodians.

Bear story via Gothamist.