After a few minutes, I noticed that someone had drawn a bunch of d—s all over the grease board by the door. So I pointed at them and asked, “Hey, who drew all the d—s?” One of the sound engineers immediately jumped up, ran over, and erased them with his sleeve. This is the new and mature Bieber. We can’t have d—s being drawn all over the place. People might get the wrong idea about filthy-rich 18-year-old pop stars.
Magary’s profile of Bieber for GQ is good and worth reading for Beliebers and skeptics alike. I felt silly censoring it, but you have to pick your battles. Also, it reminded me of something:
It doesn’t matter where or when, but once, while I was waiting in a dugout to interview a particularly young Mets Minor Leaguer, a chagrined media-relations dude emerged from the clubhouse.
“Yeah, ahh… I’m really sorry, this is going to take a minute,” he said. “He’s, ahh… he’s drawing d—ks on stuff.”
Later, I saw his handiwork. On a chalkboard in the clubhouse, a coach had drawn a stick figure. presumably as part of some demonstration. Once that drawing and the chalk were left behind for a group of college-aged guys, it was only a matter of time before someone added a huge cartoon wiener. From there, it appeared something of a wiener-drawing contest developed, with my interview subject and some of his teammates competing to draw the best or silliest one, or something. The payoff was a big chalkboard o’ wieners of all shapes and sizes, and, of course, a reminder that the prospects we track and follow and hype and debate and anticipate are still, in many cases, in their prime wiener-drawing years.
This is a theme I hit on with some frequency, and there’s no strong conclusion here except to say that when you’re pouring over the stats of guys in their late teens and early 20s, it’s probably worth considering that they’re still very much guys in their late teens and early 20s, and there’s a lot of emotional and physical and mental development ahead of them. And it seems like, well, just a d–k thing to do to crap all over a guy with whatever platform you have when he’s still young enough to be drawing wieners on stuff without it seeming bizarre.
And I know some might point out that baseball players make the choice to play baseball professionally, and they sign up for the scrutiny when they do. And that’s definitely true. But they also make that choice at wiener-drawing age, right?