Maybe “BELTWAY TO HELL!” wasn’t so far off

No. Go past this, past this part. In fact, never play this again.

– Dark Helmet.

If you missed last night’s Mets-Nationals game, you found a much more satisfying way to spend four hours and fifteen minutes. Holy crap.

If you’re a glutton for punishment, here’s some brain-dumping:

– Not Scott Hairston’s fault.

– The play in the photograph above wasn’t really all that terrible, it was just the image on the AP wire that best embodied the game. Omar Quintanilla came about 10 inches from making what would have been one of the best plays I’ve ever seen. Jordany Valdespin, on the other hand, should not play shortstop. Remember all those times I said how Valdespin made 32 errors in 98 games at the position last year? I guess that’s what it looked like. And it’s not pretty. Kudos to him for crushing the ball twice to keep the Mets in the game, but not for ultimately booting it away.

– Daniel Murphy also did not play well on defense. I’ve defended Murphy’s defense all year as a work-in-progress that seems to be improving, but the errors are bad. Since he’s not likely to be a rangy second baseman ever, he needs to make the plays that are hit at him.

– The injuries definitely caught up with the Mets last night, most notably in the short-handed bullpen. I suspect Jon Rauch would be on the disabled list already if the Mets had an obvious answer on the 40-man roster to call up in his stead. They don’t. The only healthy, eligible pitchers on the 40-man are Jeurys Familia, who has walked 6.4 batters per nine innings in Triple-A this year, Jenrry Mejia, who started on Monday, and Robert Carson, who has been hit hard every time he’s been called on in a Major League game this season. Pedro Beato is eligible to come off the 60-day DL, but the Mets will have to take someone off the 40-man to get him back and he pitched two innings Monday. With Jason Bay expected to come off the disabled list today, there’ll likely be some roster shuffling.

– Chris Young was decent and very Chris Young-ish. At one point in about the 5th inning, when Young and Jordan Zimmermann were cruising, I thought, “I’m really tired and I might get to bed early tonight.” Whoops.

– Not Bobby Parnell’s fault either. Parnell threw a wild pitch that eluded Josh Thole and ultimately allowed the Nats to tie the game, but he also had three groundballs booted behind him.

– Also probably not Elvin Ramirez’s fault. Ramirez, perhaps having seen what his infield defense looked like, walked a batter and struck out the side in his first inning of work. In his second he appeared spent, but the Mets were playing two men short in the bullpen and with a limited starter.

– After his two shutout innings last night, Miguel Batista now has a 101 ERA+ with woeful peripherals. For his career, Miguel Batista has a 101 ERA+ with woeful peripherals. Miguel Batista appears to be Miguel Batistaing.

– Keith Hernandez lost his patience in extra innings and it was hilarious. He called Ross Detwiler a “rockhead,” which he probably could have used to describe nearly everyone who played in or watched the game. Besides Scott Hairston, of course.

– It’s only one game. Thankfully.

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