Yeah, this installment of the Subway Series was bad, but not nearly as bad as the script of Prometheus. And I get that you might share your office with some obnoxious Yankee fans and put extra stock in the three games, even realizing that they’re only three games against an opponent outside the Mets’ division in the course of a 162-game series. And you probably recognize that Prometheus is a summertime sci-fi action thriller, not exactly Oscar bait.
But though a series including a blowout loss with Johan Santana on the mound, a couple of solid starting-pitching efforts wasted, a slew of strikeouts in big spots and a bullpen meltdown culminating in a walk-off Yankee Stadium home run, it’s hardly as taxing or as baffling as the plot of Prometheus, a movie apparently aimed to clarify one moment in another movie from 33 years ago that mostly opens up dozens more questions that need clarification.
Why is the cyborg the most relatable character? Why does he start acting irrationally and in some way that doesn’t seem to benefit his maker/programmer, even though he’s a cyborg? Why is handsome-ass Guy Pearce in the movie to play an old guy in awful old-guy makeup when there are hundreds of capable old guy actors looking for work? Why does the dialogue seem like it’s written by a 9th grader? Without SPOILERing this, why are certain humans affected certain ways by the things that happen in the movie when other humans are affected in other ways? Why do they bother doing the thing so many movies do now where they set up an obvious sequel when nothing about the movie really makes me care what happens next?
And yeah, just like enjoying a brutal series of Mets losses is still way better than not watching professional baseball games, Prometheus was still great to look at as a computer-graphics spectacle. But really, if the outcomes are going to be so wholly unsatisfying, why bother with things like standard nine-inning games or a loosely rendered plot? Next time maybe just have a home run derby or a story-free celebration of contemporary computer-graphics technology in IMAX 3D and we’ll all enjoy the awesomeness without the accompanying heartache and confusion.
Idris Elba and Scott Hairston are still sweet though.