This was a relatively slow week in Taco Bell news, but the Internet provided plenty of entertaining Taco Bell-related content regardless.

Indiana man fired for urinating on Nachos BellGrande: Tweeting his crime spree was the best idea Cameron Jankowski ever had! Jankowski, a Taco Bell employee, tweeted photos of himself peeing on an order of Nachos BellGrande to someone named Hunter Moore, the man responsible for a now-defunct “revenge porn” site called Is Anyone Up? who has now taken to more productive pursuits like the #pissolympics — a challenge to his Twitter followers to document urinary feats.

Ahhh… I’ve got nothing. To Jankowski’s credit, the Nachos BellGrande were apparently not served, which is good. He deleted his Twitter account in the wake of the incident, and Taco Bell claims it will “pursue legal action.” If you’re into seeing a perfectly good plate of nachos defiled, the actual photo is available at Mashable. There were always rumors in college about people who got public urination citations on P St. in DC. That’s all I can really offer for that hashtag.

Eureka!: InsideSTL.com published an absolute goldmine of old Taco Bell commercials from YouTube. If you’re only looking to kill 10 minutes consuming Taco Bell-related content online, you’re definitely better served enjoying their collection than reading the rest of this post. Among the revealed commercials: Hilarious jingles, evidence of a Scorpions souvenir cup available at Taco Bell in the 80s that I absolutely must have, and all sorts of ridiculous 80s and 90s people.

Given the current poultripolitical climate, though, it seems worth highlighting the following. I have various irresolute opinions about Chick-Fil-A’s intolerance that I’m not particularly eager to share here. Most of them boil down to the fact that I want to be able to continue eating any delicious sandwich I want without it representing a political or cultural statement, and it’s currently pretty much impossible to do that at Chick-Fil-A. Anyway, the good news is that I can still claim ignorance of any sociopolitical stances espoused by Taco Bell higher-ups that I might disagree with, plus this 1989 commercial suggests that Taco Bell is at least open to rampant 80s homoeroticism:

Taco Bell supports local music: Every year, Taco Bell provides $500 Taco Bell gift cards to 100 up-and-coming bands and musicians as part of its Feed the Beat campaign. I’m for it. It feels like a more innocuous version of when Marlo Stanfield gives out $100 bills to the stoop kids for school clothes. This way, if and when any of the bands blow up, Taco Bell can assume it has their support for the ministry of propaganda in the restaurant wars. Also, go figure the Easy Star All-Stars enjoy Fourthmeal.

Taco Bell linked to social-media buzzwords: Hey guys, did you know that a “Twitter-based widget connects consumers with advertisers and marketers and corporate brands by creating a customized streaming Twitter feed that integrates with digital displays such as billboards, corporate micro-sites and other display campaigns.” Well, it’s true! And Taco Bell uses it!

Incidentally, excerpts from the article that would make decent band names: “User Generated Content,” “Corporate Micro-Sites,” “Flexible Interactive Tools,” “Digital Screens,” “Brands and Enterprises.”

Hey have you heard The Corporate Micro-Sites’ new album? I like it but I think it’s a bit derivative of Brands and Enterprises.

The quest for “authenticity” in food is still stupid and baseless: William Booth of the Washington Post details the findings of two recent books on the history of the taco. The money quote:

“The idea that the taco is somehow deeply authentic isn’t supported by the facts. The taco is kind of like chop suey and pepperoni pizza. Tacos are a product of modernity. And this is true not only in the United States but in Mexico,” said Jeffrey M. Pilcher, history professor and author of “Planet Taco: A Global History of Mexican Food.”

There’s a lot of good stuff in there about tacos, so it’s worth clicking through to read the whole thing.