Not just Tuesday, Taco Bell Tuesday.
Taco Bell is on fire: Nancy Luna of the OC Register, the nation’s foremost fast-food blogger, reports that Taco Bell has sold over 200 million Doritos Locos Tacos since the product’s launch in March. The Doritoed taco is the brand’s most successful new product ever, and with its success came a 13-percent jump in same-store sales at Taco Bells in the second financial quarter, which sounds impressive but really I have no idea.
Luna sampled two new Doritos Locos Tacos flavors at the Taco Bell test kitchen in Irvine, the Happiest Place on Earth. Click through for her review, or wait for whenever they launch for mine. Taco Bell hasn’t promised a second or third Doritos Locos Taco flavor, but it’s pretty clearly a matter of time. They’ll probably wait until we recover from the Nacho Cheese hook to hit us with the Cool Ranch cross.
With success comes legacy: Not surprisingly given Taco Bell’s growth, this week brings symbols of Mexican-inspired fast-food’s growing global influence. First: In Southern California, the Ventura County star brings word of a handsome longhaired cat named Taco Bell that’s available for adoption. And my, that’s a handsome cat. Taco Bell is 6 years old and he’s a cuddler. He likes to be petted and to have his belly rubbed. Presumably he also likes Taco Bell, but don’t quote me on that. I’ve never owned a cat and have no idea if they should be eating Taco Bell. Do adopt Taco Bell, but do not feed Taco Bell to Taco Bell without first consulting your veterinarian. It might destroy both Taco Bells, Timecop-style.
Second: In the Northern Mariana Islands — easily the most frequently overlooked organized U.S. Territory — a basketball team named KFC/Taco Bell (presumably for a sponsor, but hopefully in loving tribute) exploded for 84 points to dominate Wushin Express, 84-65, in Gualo Rai Invitational Basketball League play. KFC/Taco Bell benefited from 21 points from Ralph Francisco, and from sweet jerseys that I’m pretty sure I could pull off and that would make for a great story, especially if the story were, “Yeah, I write this blog about Taco Bell and this awesome basketball guy from the Northern Mariana Islands found it and sent me his jersey.” Check these out:
Finally: Congrats to Southeastern Missouri Taco Bell employee Tina Bell on the birth of her sun Gunner. As far as I know, neither Glen Bell nor Yum! Foods ever required Taco Bell employees to change their last names to Bell, but they probably should, and this site commends Ms. Bell for pioneering the trend.
That is undoubtedly an attractive woman who appears to be enjoying the hell out of her Doritos Locos Taco, and as both the reader and Elliott point out, it’d be pretty bad if the ad agency behind the campaign were employing nefarious tactics in a campaign that came in response to a hoax.
But alas, Elliott reaches out to the agency to learn that “everyone who appeared in the ad were real people in Bethel.” And, really, you knew this: There are beautiful people everywhere, and many of them are reasonable enough to enjoy Taco Bell.