Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Taco Bell Tuesday!

Kind of a slow one though.

Massachusetts man demands faster Taco Bell: Police in Salem, Mass. responded to a disturbance at a local Taco Bell that started when a customer got mad that his food did not come quickly enough. I’d need to check out this particular Taco Bell to tell you who’s justified here. You may claim that anyone who gets upset enough over a Taco Bell wait to merit an emergency call is crazy, but I’d counter that I’ve waited over 20 minutes for my food at the Taco Bell in Elmsford, N.Y. on multiple occasions and that’s way crazier.

Pictures of Flamas Doritos Locos Tacos emerge: They look like the original Doritos Locos Tacos, it turns out. Slightly redder I think, but sometimes my monitor is weird.

Taco Bell working to end hunger even more so: I need to tread lightly because you never know what someone’s digging up on ol’ Glen Bell right now, but I, for one, am pretty glad that when Taco Bell gives to charity it’s on behalf of ending world hunger and not, you know, saving the world from gay marriage. I want my Taco Bell consumption to carry on unencumbered by politics, and a recent harrowing experience at Chick-Fil-A revealed to me that without some sort of bumper sticker that politely but explicitly asks people to not extrapolate my chicken-sandwich choices to imply anything whatsoever about my political beliefs, I cannot in good conscience eat Chick-Fil-A. That’s terrible, because Chick-Fil-A is delicious. And I know it all goes against my typical Sandwiches Uber Alles approach to everything. But it’s just too complicated now. The only statement of any kind I want to make with my fast food choices is, “I am a man who appreciates inexpensive food served quickly.” I don’t want to go in for much more than that.

Heretofore unknown Brooklyn Taco Bell emerges: I had no idea. That’s not an area I get to that often, but it’s good to know about regardless.