Taco Bell Tuesday

And a very important Taco Bell Tuesday indeed. First and foremost:

Free Doritos Locos Tacos on the East Coast: Perhaps the least-heralded and certainly the least-important impact of Superstorm Sandy was the way it thwarted so many plans to eat the free tacos Angel Pagan got for all of us by stealing a base in the World Series. Taco Bell, bastion of benevolence, will make that right today by offering free Doritos Locos Tacos at participating locations in areas affected by the storm. The full list is included in the link. All three of my hometown Taco Bells on Long Island will provide free tacos from 2-6 p.m. this afternoon. My dad’s day just got a bit brighter.

Here's what a Doritos Locos Taco Supreme sort of looks like.

Heretofore unknown Taco Bell product detailed: Because Taco Bell consumers in India are apparently not familiar with the peculiarities of Mexican-inspired American fast food, Taco Bells in India serve something called a “kotito.” Per Niren Chaudhary of Yum Brands:

[I]t is a fusion product. It has a combination of the Indian bread on the outside called koti [ph] and on the inside, it has the good old international burrito fillings.

So koti and burrito is kotito, a very outstanding product and one for which I would highly recommend that you make a trip to Bangalore. And if you take kotito on the way to Bangalore, I think the flight won’t seem that long.

That sounds outstanding. Someone more familiar with Indian food should chime in here, but I’m assuming “koti” is another translation for kati, which you can find in New York at, among other places, the Biryani Cart in Midtown right near my office. It’s good: Thicker than a burrito but thinner than a pita, chewy and moist. Seems like a fine delivery method for burrito stuff.

Incidentally, this site’s traffic metrics show that it gets a few hits a day from India. So if anyone reading this now is in India or going to India soon, please visit your local Taco Bell to photograph and eat a kotito. It turns out the Google Image returns for “kotito” are mostly scantily clad photos of a Japanese woman. This may surprise you, but the Internet already has lots and lots of scantily clad photos of women. But it has none that I can find of Mexican-inspired Indian fast food. With your help, I’d like to change that.

Guy who peed on Nachos claims that’s not what happened: For whatever reason, a Fort Wayne, Ind. reporter caught up with Cameron Jankowski, the former Taco Bell employee fired for photographing himself urinating on Nachos BellGrande. Jankowski claims that what we all thought was urine was actually a watered-down solution of Mountain Dew and water squirted from a bottle, which seems like a lot of effort to defile some nachos when you could just, you know, pee on them or something. But Jankowski claims he passed a lie-detector test, which is amazing for so many reasons. I like to imagine the police pulling a good-cop bad-cop routine, with the bad cop all up in this kid’s face like, “You peed on those nachos, you disgusting bastard! ADMIT IT!”

The article also says that, “Jankowski is currently a student at IPFW and is ironically studying business management.” To his credit, business management is the perfect thing to study ironically, and no one will ever accuse Cameron Jankowski of half-assing his jokes.

So what’s up with the Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco?: It turns out that factories producing Doritos taco shells couldn’t catch up with demand, so plans to unveil Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos were held up while Taco Bell commissioned PepsiCo to “build two new lines to increase its capacity for taco shell production.” So there’s that.

The article also notes that there are 123 different flavors of Doritos worldwide, which is stunning. The web site Taquitos.net lists nearly 100 of them, including Peking Duck Doritos Gold, Gourmet Sausage Doritos, Ketchup Doritos, Pepper Bacon Doritos, and Wasabi Doritos.

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