Author Archives: Ted Berg

Expect Carlos Beltran to return or expect him to be traded

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Some fun, if meaningless, stuff coming out of the waning days of the Mets’ season: Chase Utley slid in hard and late on Ruben Tejada on Friday, trying to break up a double play, and several Mets took exception — most notably Carlos Beltran. Then the Mets, powered in part by Beltran, went on to take the next two from the Phillies, scoring a rare road series win and preventing the Phillies from celebrating their inevitable playoff berth in their own clubhouse.

The Mets downplayed the importance of that accomplishment, as they damn well should have, saying they were just happy to be playing good baseball and they should have been playing like this all year. And good. Something always feels messed-up when you hear about a team “relishing the opportunity to play spoiler.” Oh, you do? Why don’t you relish the opportunity to play better baseball for the first 140 games of the season?

Anyway, the whole thing sets up the lamest bit of post hoc ergo propter hoc talk-radio nonsense since “Lastings Milledge woke up the Marlins.” Someone somewhere will suggest — probably already has suggested — that Utley’s slide shook Beltran to life and made him decide, “oh, I guess I’ll start being awesome at baseball again,” even though, as we know, Beltran had been hitting like Beltran for weeks.

The whole affair brings Beltran back into the fore for the first time since the Walter Reed flap. Both the Post and Daily News put Beltran in the focus of their game stories for Sunday, with the Post asserting that he’ll likely be back in 2011 and the News suggesting he’s as good as gone.

It’s going to be one of those offseasons, I suppose. Which is pretty much every offseason. Until we get there, though, we might as well relish this opportunity to watch Carlos Beltran do stuff, knowing that it might be our last to watch him do it in a Mets uniform.

Vendys complete

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I ate a lot of food yesterday. And it was hot out there, fellas.

I’ll have a full write-up tomorrow, once I’ve processed and digested. But for now, enjoy a picture of perhaps the best thing I tried — and this surprised me — the “governator” from Kelvin Natural Slush. That’s a green tea and ginger slush with real pear mixed in. Outstanding. Picture doesn’t do it justice.

Sandwich of the Week: Eat one for the Team

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There’s a nasty legend that Ted Turner and Jane Fonda once went into a busy steakhouse in Montana and demanded to jump the 45-minute wait by playing the “Do you know who I am?” card. It’s not true, and people shouldn’t drag Ted Turner’s good name through the mud like that.

I don’t really know much about him personally, mind you, but he’s on Team Ted and he created pretty much the best place to go for lunch meetings near our office, and it happens to be named Ted’s, so he’s cool with me.

Oh, and lunch meetings are amazing. Seriously, meetings are one of my least favorite things about having a job, and lunch meetings are one of my very favorite things about having a job. Meetings are often awkward and conducted in cold conference rooms with harsh fluorescent lighting. There’s always plenty to talk about at lunch meetings because there’s food about, and you get to eat it.

Also, I’ve been to the Montana steakhouse in question. It’s called Sir Scott’s Oasis and it’s completely amazing. I can’t even begin to describe it, and to attempt to do so now would be to undercut or overshadow the sandwich I am about to review. But trust me, if you ever find yourself within 100 miles of Manhattan, Montana, go to Sir Scott’s Oasis. Just go.

The sandwich: The Spikebox Bison Burger from Ted’s Montana Grill, many locations.

The construction: Toasted hamburger bun with bison burger, jack cheese, bacon and fresh jalapenos.

Important background information: I want to try all the meats that people eat. I think I’ve probably made this clear before, and look: I mean no disrespect to the pig, cow and chicken, which do great work. I’m just always concerned that there’s some amazing meat out there that I haven’t tried yet, something like elk or ostrich or bear, and it’s going to completely blow my mind, totally open up my perspective to whole new meat things, stuff I can’t even describe because I haven’t tasted the meat yet. Only I know it’s not elk or ostrich because I’ve had those and they’re only OK. Holding out hope for bear.

Bison depends on the preparation, I’ve found. It’s beefy, a little bit gamey — what does gamey mean, really? Just meatier tasting than the standard meats, right? That’s what I mean when I say gamey — and it could be tough if overcooked.

What it looks like (in a dark, dark restaurant):

How it tastes: I am consistently impressed with the bison burgers at Ted’s. There’s not a lot to distinguish the bison meat from beef, but I’m not certain it matters. The burgers are tasty, tender, juicy, everything you’d expect from a top-of-the-line restaurant burger. There’s nothing in particular that distinguishes this burger from others, so it’s not really something to write home about (though technically I’m doing that here, since my parents will probably read this), but really solid all around. And they get your order right, too — medium is medium, not over- or under-cooked.

The Spikebox, in particular, is a good choice because of the bacon and jalapenos, obviously. I don’t think I need to sing the praises of these toppings any more than I already have here. Bacon adds bacon. Jalapenos add spice and some additional crunch.

Throw on a little ketchup and you’ve got a rich, full-bodied burger with a breadth of flavors. Good show. You’re doing the Teds proud, Mr. Turner.

What it’s worth: Ted’s is in Midtown so these things aren’t cheap. Plus bison will run you a few extra bucks, about $16. But what do you want? You’re eating out in Midtown. It’s a struggle to find any lunch for less than $10, and certainly one this good. You could get a slightly cheaper burger at Heartland across the street, but it won’t be as big or as tasty.

How it rates: 82 out of 100. No one’s calling this burger a Hall of Famer, but it would probably make a few All-Star Games in it’s career since it’s about as good as you could reasonably expect a burger to be, and consistent. There aren’t very many baseball players from Montana, but conveniently enough, former Orioles lefty, the late Dave McNally seems like a good fit.

The Vendys!

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I am bound for the Vendys. I have no idea what the Internet situation will be on Governors Island and haven’t even decided if I should attempt to bring my computer.

Obviously you can expect a full report at some point, including pictures, food reviews, the whole thing. I just don’t know exactly when that’ll be. Maybe today. Maybe not. Depends on these Vendys.

There’s a Sandwich of the Week post cued up to run in a little bit, so look out for that. And I’ll throw up one of those Matt Cerrone-special in-post Twitter things once the event starts.

Chris De Burgh’s second-greatest hit

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I was mapping out my trek to Governors Island for the Vendys tomorrow and thought about this and it cracked me up so I figured I’d share:

My brother Chris was — and I say this not because he was my older brother, but because I’m pretty certain it’s true — probably the smartest person I’ll ever meet. But he had completely arbitrary taste in music.

Not downright awful taste, just haphazard. He introduced me to a lot of music I still enjoy today, like the Beatles and early-period Mighty Mighty Bosstones stuff before their major-label albums, but he also unironically enjoyed some of the worst music I’ve ever heard.

Later in his life, he claimed that he didn’t hear correctly and tried to blame it on an ear infection he had as an infant, an excuse I’m pretty sure stemmed from a combination of his absurd competitive streak and the fact that my sister and I both played and performed an awful lot of music through college.

He said he didn’t understand why notes an octave apart were considered the same note, and when I explained the science behind it — double the frequency, half the length of string, etc. — he thought it interesting but maintained he couldn’t discern any similarity. Maybe he couldn’t. (I should note that he was always supportive regardless; he showed up to just about every concert my sister ever had when they both lived in Boston and bought me my first bass.)

Anyway, one evening during the summer of 1995, on one of our countless trips to Shea Stadium, he announced that he stopped at the music store during his lunch break at the makeup-case factory and found — and he was proud of this, as though he uncovered a real treasure — a Chris De Burgh greatest hits CD.

I was 14, mind you, and blissfully unaware of “Lady in Red” at the time.

Chris didn’t buy the CD because of that anthem, though. He bought it partly because he and the singer shared similar names, understandable I suppose, and mostly because he was certain that Chris De Burgh’s second-biggest hit, “Don’t Pay the Ferryman,” was a downright awesome song.

He put the CD in the discman he had Velcro’d to the dashboard — connected to the tape deck through that amazing CD-to-cassette contraption I still haven’t figured out — and cued up the tune.

“This song’s great; it’s really scary.”

It played a bit. My tastes were still developing but I was getting into punk rock by then, and though I struggled at that time to find fault in almost anything my older brother did, my sense of decency overwhelmed the hero worship, and I spoke up.

“Ahh… dude. This song, ahh… This song kinda sucks.”

“What? ‘Don’t even fix a price!‘ It’s spooky!”

“I’m sorry, I, ahh… It’s not spooky at all.”

“Well, maybe if you saw the video. It had a really cool video. There were, like, ghosts and stuff.”

I think probably in truth he was a bit chagrined, maybe indeed realized that the Chris De Burgh compilation CD was not the world’s wisest purchase, but was unwilling to demonstrate buyer’s remorse.

I never thought to look up the video in all these years of YouTube until I started searching for details on the ferry to Governors Island. To my brother’s credit, though, the video is, well, kind of awesome. It’s not really particularly scary, and the music certainly didn’t age well, but there are, inarguably, ghosts and stuff.

Sizzle, steam, smash!

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Far away from a customer base in the United States that knows the delights and agonies of late-night taco dining, paid for entirely with pocket change, Taco Bell seeks a higher level of trendiness in South Korea. The new store’s menu appears on an LED board. Wall hangings display a succession of culinary mood words: sizzle, steam, smash….

It remains to be seen whether Taco Bell will prosper here, or elsewhere in Asia, over the long term. Since Taco Bell last existed here 15 years ago, little has fundamentally changed in the way people eat. What’s different is how they decide where to eat. In the world’s most wired country, two of every five people, according to some estimates, maintain a blog. One of South Korea’s preeminent search engines, Naver, has a special category for “powerbloggers,” many of whom love writing about food. Taco Bell has held special events for these bloggers, hoping to win their approval.

– Chico Harlan, Washington Post.

Taco Bell pilgrimage, anyone?

I’m a little put off to hear that Taco Bell sees the need to hold special events for the so-called “powerbloggers” of Seoul while I’m here doing all this stuff to promote their brand and they do nothing for me. Where’s my special event? Where’s my three-story Taco Bell with fancy LED menus and food-mood buzzwords plastered all over the walls? I’m stuck with the Worst Taco Bell in the World in Elmsford, N.Y., where I sometimes wait 18-minutes at the drive-thru and never, EVER get a red shell on my Volcano Taco.

But, all that said, here’s to Taco Bell’s success overseas. This is obviously a big step toward winning the Franchise Wars.

Also, Chico Harlan sighting.