Obviously bad sandwich is bad

Posted on March 27, 2012 by Ted Berg

At the Village Voice, Robert Sietsema reviews the Carnegie Deli’s new Tim Tebow-themed sandwich, which hardly deserves that name since it clearly cannot be eaten like a sandwich as served.

Here’s what I said when the Carnegie Deli pulled this last February. It still holds:

I probably won’t eat that sandwich. I understand it’s all the rage right now and it represents the rare intersection of sandwiches and sports (outside of this blog, of course), but that’s not really an edible sandwich you see above. That’s like six vaguely edible sandwiches. And sure, you could go in with three friends and ask for extra rye and deconstruct the sandwich so you all get reasonable portions of all the ingredients. I get that. But that’s like cheating on behalf of the place you’re paying $22 for a sandwich.

Look: I appreciate the Carnegie Deli for all it has done for lunchmeats and celebrities through the years, but there’s no art to piling up all the meats in the house sky high and naming it after the city’s newest famous sports hero. That’s gimmickry. Amateur hour.

I, for one, would like to eat a carefully constructed sandwich that evokes the understated elegance of Carlos Beltran at his best, or a burrito that embodies the transcendent dominance of Darrelle Revis.

Who will make me Revis: The Burrito? Not the heavy-handed vulgarians responsible for the Carmelo Anthony sandwich, that’s for sure.

Village Voice link via Deadspin, Deadspin link via Jen Connic.

The Marlins’ Home Run Thing is predictably amazing

Posted on March 26, 2012 by Ted Berg

Larry Granillo at Baseball Prospectus passes along video of the Marlins’ Home Run Thing in action:

It’s spectacular.

New York Times recognizes

Posted on March 26, 2012 by Ted Berg

A Tim Tebow joke I made on Twitter got quoted in the Metropolitan section of Sunday’s New York Times. Check it out. They even copy-edited me, adding a comma where I omitted one.

The Gray Lady, reduced to fishing for pageviews from area sandwich blogs?

Thanks to @CoreyNYC for pointing it out.

Tebow-MG

Posted on March 23, 2012 by Ted Berg

Remember this? Jeremy Lin’s just some point guard now*, even with the Knicks surging. It’s Tebow Time:

Maybe Drew Stanton is just upset this didn’t happen the last time the Jets acquired a backup quarterback.

If the Jets were actually hoping to generate buzz with the move, they did. Winning football games we’ll have to see about.

*- Not really, but he lacks that certain Tebow cachet.

Now we all Tebow?

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Ted Berg

I don’t even know what to do with this. Regular readers will remember that I came to like Tim Tebow late last season, but mostly because I’m a massive troll and everyone else hated him. Now that he’s a Jet… man. Man.

Presumably he’s there to run the Wildcat (or whatever the Jets call their version of it). This will only get awful when Mark Sanchez has his first bad game and everyone goes something something. At least it’s not Brett Favre.

I think I need a little more time on this one. Luckily we have until September. For now, point:

Counterpoint:

Nonsense overwhelming

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Ted Berg

But then that’s not exactly breaking news, is it?

– Andres Torres left last night’s Spring Training game with a strained calf. He said he thinks he’ll only be out a couple of days, but a) that’s what they all say and b) it has been like two or three days since a full-fledged Mets-fan freakout so people were getting antsy.

In Torres’ absence, Terry Collins will try Jason Bay and Jordany Valdespin in center along with Adam Loewen and Mike Baxter, who have already been working there. Bay apparently volunteered for the tryout, which is great and all, but actually using him in center field in meaningful games is a terrible idea. Also, if you’re using Bay in center, who is it that’s playing left field and isn’t better at center than Jason Bay?

As for Valdespin, I was ready to pooh-pooh the idea based on the 32 errors he made in 98 games at shortstop last year, which I mentioned yesterday. But then I remembered that BJ Upton was once an error-prone Minor League shortstop too and is now a pretty good Major League center fielder. Obviously the two cases are very different for a variety of reasons, but if the Mets want to move Valdespin off shortstop and feel he has the athleticism for center, it doesn’t seem like it can hurt to try. It’s pretty late in the game to expect him to play there in the Majors by Opening Day, though, especially since he hasn’t yet done anything to suggest he’s a Major League hitter.

– The Jets told the Daily News that they’re “players in the Tebow race.” But really aren’t we all in some way players in the Tebow race?

I don’t even know that it’s a bad idea from a football standpoint. Tebow can’t really throw, but obviously he’s got some value running the option as a change of pace. Hard to say if it’ll be worth whatever he gets paid, since — as voice of reason Antonio Cromartie pointed out — Jeremy Kerley and Joe McKnight can run the team’s Wildcat offense, too.

But Tebow’s fantastic for web traffic, so there is that to consider.

– The Post reports that Tim Tebow likes some beautiful woman I had never heard of before who is reportedly involved in an on-and-off relationship with some presumably beautiful dude I had never heard of before. The Post reports on this like it’s sports, which is hilarious: “The split leaves the door open for Tebow to nab Agron.”

Nab!

Also, if this woman has really ditched her man and is now open for Tebow, look for him to make a wobbly pass that falls seven yards short of her or just pump fake in her general direction and take off running.

Oh Know

Posted on February 8, 2012 by Ted Berg

Moreno, 24, was pulled over Feb. 1 while driving a Bentley at about 70 mph on Interstate 25 near Quincy Avenue and Union Avenue, according to a report by Denver television station KDVR-31. The posted speed limit in the area usually is 65 mph but is currently posted at 45 mph because it’s a construction zone.

Police gave Moreno a breath test and a field sobriety test and took the former Georgia star to a detox facility. He was charged with DUI, failing to have insurance and careless driving. He is scheduled to be arraigned March 2, court records state.

The personalized license plate on the car Moreno was driving read “SAUCED,” according to KDVR-31.

– Lindsay Jones, Denver Post.

Yikes. If you’re playing at home: Knowshon Moreno was speeding through a construction zone while driving drunk in an uninsured Bentley convertible with a license plate that says “SAUCED.”

No joke I can make here is going to top the actual news there. Derek Jeter gives out post-coital giftbaskets to women he sleeps with. Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face. The man’s name is Weiner and he tweeted his penis.

Via Shutdown Corner, via Ted Burke.

Embarrassing photos of Tom Brady

Posted on February 7, 2012 by Ted Berg

The Sports Pickle does some good work putting together a gallery of embarrassing photos of Tom Brady. But I think most would probably argue that getting fed poolside by a bikini-clad supermodel is not technically embarrassing. And this one’s just weird. Tom Brady’s got your goat: