I went over to New York Magazine’s site looking for a story about the Mets and Puerto Rico. But once there, I got sidetracked by a photo gallery of a recent fashion show in Paris, and something that looks a hell of a lot like a skirt for men:

Say what you want about the style, but I’m comfortable enough with myself to admit it: If something like that ever shows up in my size at Old Navy, I’m buying it. If society says it’s OK, I’ll gladly wear a skirt.

Actually, during steamy summers like this one I even think about heading over to my nearest plus-sized women’s store, picking up a skirt, and wearing it to work one day.

It is downright preposterous that men are expected to wear long pants in formal settings. Preposterous, I say. How am I supposed to focus on my work when my business is so poorly ventilated?

People say: Well, you can’t wear a skirt because that’s what women wear. Hokum. Once I started wearing the skirt, it’d be something men wear. And they say, “well, it’s making fun of transgendered people, who legitimately feel uncomfortable in their own skin.” No it’s not; it has nothing to do with them. This is about the war between man and pants, which pants have been winning for far too long. Don’t devalue my own discomfort.

Oh and the other thing? Kilts are not the same. Kilts are made of wool and so would be ineffective for staving off the heat. I’m talking about skirts, bro.

The only reason I’m not wearing a skirt right now is the societal norm. Damn this self-consciousness.

And lastly, I have nice, toned calves that I feel should be accentuated.