Punk kid steals my idea

A 13-year-old Ohio kid is selling scented candles aimed at men. I swear I’ve been pitching this to anyone willing to listen for years. Not only that, but he used two of my go-to suggested manly scents: sawdust and bacon. If he hasn’t yet, he should also make one that smells like fire. Crazy meta, plus a good smell. (And yeah, technically fire smells like whatever is burning, but you know what I’m saying.)

Boycott Fort Wayne, Indiana

Please follow my lead in continuing to avoid the city of Fort Wayne, Indiana. The mayor announced that the new government center will not be named for longtime area politician Harry Baals despite overwhelming support from the Internet. Instead, it will be called “Citizens Square,” which, without the possessive, seems to imply that Fort Wayne citizens are themselves square. They probably are, because they’re not cool enough to storm the mayor’s office and demand he pay tribute to the legacy of Harry Baals and the whims of the Internet. Hat tip to Terry for the link.