Big day of local eating for me before the ballgame yesterday. I drove up to a citrus grove in Davie and bought a bunch of fruit for the rest of the trip, plus an amazing cup of fresh-squeezed orange juice. Then out to Fort Lauderdale for conch chowder and a sandwich. The conch chowder, I should note, was awesome — reddish, peppery and more reminiscent of a very soupy chili than Manhattan clam chowder. The sandwich? Well, you’re about to find out.

The sandwich: Barbecue beef sandwich from Ernie’s BBQ and Lounge, Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

The construction: A huge pile of sliced smoked beef on thick-sliced bimini bread served with a side of barbecue sauce.

Important background information: When I pulled into the parking lot at Ernie’s I noticed something funny: My rental car, a Chrysler Sebring sedan, was by far the smallest vehicle there. The lot was near-full with SUVs and pickup trucks, mine was the only car-shaped car. No judgment, just saying: It could be that Ernie’s is for people that consume more than I do. And I consume a whole hell of a lot. The smaller size conch chowder was a meal in and of itself — I wound up taking more than half of it home. I didn’t even finish half the sandwich and still felt stuffed for several hours thereafter.

What it looks like:

How it tastes: Meh.

First off, when I get a sandwich this thick, the first thing I do is pull off about half the meat. Don’t get me wrong, I’d always rather a sandwich purveyor err on the side of too much meat. But I’m not sure how any human being could really get his mouth around this thing, plus so much meat throws off the proportions of a good sandwich. It’s why I have no real interest in eating the Carmelo Anthony sandwich from the Carnegie Deli. That’s not an artful construction; it’s just a heavy-handed meatpile. If this makes you think less of me — especially coming so closely on the heels of news that I can’t really grow a mustache — whatever. I just don’t like biting into a giant, dry brick of sliced beef.

In this case, the meatpiling is especially egregious because the meat is undoubtedly the worst element of the sandwich. It’s not terrible — it is meat, after all — and there’s a pinkish ring around the edge that suggests it has been smoked. But there’s no identifiable smoke flavor or rub or seasoning or anything at all to give the beef taste. And it’s pretty bland on its own, just kinda chewy.

The bread, however, is excellent. Really outstanding. It’s not the heartiest loaf so it has to be cut thick to withstand the weight and grease of the beef — it and hardly does — but it is sweet, fresh and delicious.

The barbecue sauce is of the very thin variety, with chunks of onions in it. It’s tangy with vinegar and spicy with black pepper and pretty tasty overall. Only issue is you can’t pour too much of it on the beef at once without destroying the bread, so you have to either dip the sandwich in the sauce or spread on a little at a time — both messy enterprises.

After the conch chowder, the sandwich was pretty disappointing. There’s just not much more to say about it, because how much can you say about a huge pile of beef on (excellent) bread?

What it’s worth: I think the sandwich was about $8.

How it rates: Ernie’s is probably worth a trip if you’re in South Florida. It’s a nice place with an outdoor patio upstairs, and it’s apparently one of the best spots to get conch — important if you want your meals to have strong symbolic value when your civilization of schoolchildren stranded on an island goes awry. But next time I’d probably get the conch chowder and skip the sandwich. 55 out of 100.

While I wait out the laundry cycle.

The sandwich: Spicy pork kim-cheesesteak from the Kimchi Taco Truck, 46th and Lexington on Fridays, elsewhere other days.

The construction: Korean spiced pork tenderloin with Cheez Whiz and kimchi on Italian bread.

I had the choice of Cheez Whiz or provolone, as is often the case with cheesesteaks. I chose the former because I had reservations about the way provolone would go with kimchi. The guy in the truck offers spicy or mild sauce as he bags your order; I asked for one of each. More on that to follow.

Important background information: Kimchi is a Korean side dish of spicy, fermented vegetables — usually cabbage.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a cheesesteak of any variety made with pork before. I’ve obviously had regular ol’ steak cheesesteaks, and I’ve had a bunch of chicken cheesesteaks too. But somehow I never thought of or had the opportunity to eat one made with pork. So there’s that.

I ate this sandwich on Friday, when, as I mentioned, I was quite busy. There was a bit of a line at the truck, and it turned out for whatever reason sandwiches take longer than other orders. I did a lot of standing around waiting for this sandwich, then once I got it, I was already late for a session at the studio to tape some Minor League Reports that’ll roll out next week. I had to hustle up five streets and across four avenues, all the while concerned that the studio guys were getting pissed at me and my sandwich was getting cold. This was a high-anxiety sandwich.

What it looks like:

How it tastes: Hell and yes.

When I got to the studio, I threw the sandwich down on the table they use for Daily News Live, unwrapped it, photographed it and took a bite. I secretly hoped our guys would have some sort of technical problem that might give me more time to convene with the sandwich. They didn’t. I got pulled away from it two bites deep. And I couldn’t complain; I’m the one that showed up late.

I knew from the first bite that this was a great sandwich, but I don’t think I realized quite how great until I had to step away.

Now I have to stand here so you can adjust the lights when that delicious thing is staring at me, just barely out of reach? Can’t we get a crash test dummy for this?

There’s a familiar flavor in Korean barbecued pork that I can never precisely identify. It’s a sweet, almost smoky flavor; I think it’s a combination of something and ginger. I want whatever that something is so I can bring it home and pair it with ginger. It’s a really good flavor. And this sandwich had a lot of it.

It was difficult to distinguish the kimchi flavor from the pork, and the Cheez Whiz mostly served as a creamy bonding agent for the meat and cabbage, creating a uniform texture throughout the inside of the sandwich: A big, delicious pile of vague Korean pork goo.

The mild sauce didn’t add much; it also got drowned out by the amazing pork flavor. But when I added the spicy — a peppery red sauce that tasted like a more liquefied Sriracha — holy hell. A perfect complement to the sweetness of the pork.

The sandwich got all the texture it needed from outstanding bread, crispy and flaky on the outside, toasty and soft on the inside. Even after it sat out on the table for a while, the roll held strong under the grease from the cheese and pork.

I stole bites between takes. Video producer Jeff had to keep reminding me to slow down when I read from the TelePrompter. Easy for him to say; he didn’t have an amazing sandwich waiting.

When I heard that phone-in guest Toby Hyde needed to finish something up and wanted a little more time before we filmed his parts, it was about the best news imaginable. I powered through the end of the still-warm sandwich. If the segments were framed differently, you’d notice a continuity error: a stain would appear on my right pants leg for the parts of the segments with Toby on the phone, then disappear during the wraps. Luckily my pants are not in the shot. Unluckily they are stained with delicious sandwich. Hazards of sandwich writing.

What it’s worth: Cost $7 and maybe a mile walk, plus a little bit of stress.

How it rates: 91 out of 100. Not an inner-circle Hall of Famer, but undoubtedly a deserving one. It has been added to the sidebar.

I can’t imagine life without an E-ZPass. It’s vital to traveling in the metro area, what with all the bridges and tunnels and turnpikes. I laugh when I cruise by long lines of cars backed up at toll lanes. Suckers.

Funny thing, though: The E-ZPass on my car now is, I’m pretty certain, the same E-ZPass I had when I was 17 and got my first car. I have no idea what car it was on before mine; it was in my family like jewelry. But I took it with me to my next car and then to the car after that, the car I drive now. The E-ZPass is at least 13 years old. My E-ZPass is older than some of you, most likely.

And in all the time I’ve been driving, to this very day, I haven’t seen a single E-ZPass bill. When I was in high school, my dad paid my tolls because I hardly ever drove anywhere off Long Island. When I was in college, my dad paid my tolls because they usually meant I was coming home. After I graduated, my dad paid my tolls because I was broke and he’s a nice guy. Now, my dad just pays my tolls because neither of us has yet taken the initiative to transfer the E-ZPass to a new account. And also, presumably, because he’s a nice guy.

I am 30 years old, married, living in a house in the suburbs with a full-time job, and my father has paid every single Northeast corridor road-usage toll I have ever accrued. Should I be embarrassed about this? Probably.

Anyway, this Sandwich of the Week required a trip over the Tappan Zee Bridge, which I might be more reluctant to make if I had to shell out my own $5. So thanks, dad.

The sandwich: Taylor Ham, Egg and Cheese on an everything bagel from Nyack Hot Bagels, Route 59 in Nyack, N.Y.

The construction: Two slices of Taylor ham, grilled, with a fried egg, a slice of American cheese, salt, pepper, ketchup and hot sauce on an everything bagel.

Important background information: Before we moved to Westchester, my wife and I figured we would have no trouble finding good bagels here. It’s still New York, after all. How could it be harder to find a decent bagel in Westchester than it is on Long Island, where we grew up?

And yet it is! It could be that we happen to live in a weird pocket of Westchester that is a bagel wasteland, but the local places all kinda stink. Good bagels need to be boiled then baked, soft and and a little bit chewy on the inside with a nice golden crust on the outside. To find bagels matching that description here, we have to drive at least 20 minutes.

Nyack Hot Bagels makes good bagels. Best in the area, in my expert opinion. So when I set out to try Taylor ham, I figured I’d first check their online menu to see if they had it. They did, so I went.

I realize Taylor ham is sort of a Jersey thing and so yeah, maybe I should have driven an extra 10 miles south to get the full Taylor ham experience, but I’m not going to take my chances with an unknown bagel place when I know a good one has what I’m looking for. Plus I had to take a jughandle of sorts to get onto Route 59.

What it looks like:

How it tastes: Delightful.

When the bagel-man sliced open the bagel to construct the sandwich, steam came out. That’s such a promising sign. A well-made, oven-fresh bagel is amazing on its own, without even butter or cream cheese. I could only imagine what would happen with egg and meat and cheese on there.

And indeed, the bagel was the real star of this sandwich, piping hot with an adequate but not overwhelming array of all the bagel seasonings. The toasted garlic — at least I think that’s what that flavor was — was the most prominent flavor on the bagel, but every bite contains bits of poppy, salt and sesame too. (I should note here that Nyack Bagels, unlike some bagel places, puts the bagel stuff on both sides of the bagel.)

The egg gets lost here, which is predictable since it’s drowned out with meat, bagel, condiments and cheese. My first experience with Taylor ham was a pleasant one. It doesn’t have an overwhelming flavor, but it’s pretty tasty. It’s a bit like a more mild sausage patty, only sliced thinner and with (to quote Buster Bluth) a “smack of ham.”

American cheese and ketchup you know about. I was concerned there was too much ketchup on the sandwich, and it might look that way from the picture, but it didn’t taste like that. I can’t figure out exactly why that is, either. I think the bagel soaked up some, but I still tasted a lot of bagel flavor, not just ketchup. Maybe that has to do with the thickness of the bagel?

They used Frank’s hot sauce, which makes everything taste a little like Buffalo wings. That’s good.

The only thing I wanted more of in this sandwich was meaty, crispy pork flavor. I can’t really blame the Taylor ham for that because, like I said, the Taylor ham was plenty good. But add Taylor ham to the long list of breakfast meats that are not bacon. And truth be told, with bacon this thing might have been a Hall of Famer.

What it’s worth: I believe this sandwich cost an utterly reasonable $3.85. And my dad paid, or will pay — who even knows how that works? — $5 for me to get across the bridge.

How it rates: 87 out of 100. Every part of this sandwich was as good as I could have hoped for it to be, but no part of this sandwich was bacon.