Sam Borden on the telephone:

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Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

I didn’t eat the Frito Pie last night. Toby pointed me toward the Godfather, and I couldn’t resist. Though at delis all over the New York area “The Godfather” refers to an Italian hero, at Grayson stadium it’s an Italian sausage covered with Philly cheesesteak and chicken-steak. (Is that an oxymoron? You know what I mean, like the chicken equivalent of Philly cheesesteak.) I got mine with jalapenos, because I’m like that.

Here is what the Godfather looks like. There’s an Italian sausage under there. The ketchup was my own addition:

What did it taste like? Exactly how you’d expect: Amazing. I still have a little bit of a grease headache just thinking about it, but worth it nonetheless. This needs to catch on.

Bobby Cox says Braves rookie Jason Heyward is taking far too many hittable strikes and limiting his chances by continually falling behind in counts….

“We’re going to talk to him,” Cox said. “He’s taking way too many pitches for strikes. [As a result] he’s getting one pitch to swing at right now.”

– Dave O’Brien, Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

As Aaron Gleeman points out, the Heymaker has swung at the fourth fewest percentage of pitches inside the strike zone of any Major League qualifier, so Cox is probably onto something, all snark aside.

That said, if he’s looking for a right fielder who won’t take too many pitches…

We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet. I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonise whatever planets they can reach.

– Stephen Hawking, Stephen Hawking’s Universe, via Huffington Post.

Ahh, I mean, no disrespect to the smartest guy in the world or anything, but I’m pretty sure that’s precisely the vision President Bill Pullman saw in his psychic showdown with the alien in Area 51 in Independence Day, prompting his triumphant, Bill Pullman-y, “Nuke the bastards” declaration.

And clearly — and again, no disrespect — Stephen Hawking forgot that though Randy Quaid (SPOILER ALERT) died in that movie, he’s still very much alive and ready to save us from vicious extraterrestrials in the real world.

So fear not, earthlings.