Canada geese are no joke. Mess you up, man:

I’ve mentioned this before: For some reason that never seemed strange in middle school, there was a petting zoo in the basement and courtyard of my middle school. Nothing seems strange in middle school because everything is strange in middle school. You don’t even notice that half of your teachers are certifiably insane, driven mad by years of dealing with jackass middle schoolers. You just show up and suffer or enjoy their peculiarities because it’s middle school and everything sucks and you have no other option.

Anyway, there were goats in the courtyard and one time after football practice, my friend set them loose. My locker was across from the courtyard entrance, and I saw him right before he did it. I think the conversation went like this:

“Yo Berg, I’m going to free the goats.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“OK.”

And then he did. My other friend showed up for a basketball practice later that evening and saw a rooster in the boys’ bathroom. Before the custodians could round up the goats, they had eaten an entire art project off a wall. The goats, that is, not the custodians.

Bear story via Gothamist.

Look: I’m sure all the technology that went into this microwaving robot is mind-boggling, but there’s really no denying that the robot still pretty much sucks at microwaving. Don’t get distracted by Sidd’s spiel. Keep your eye on the automaton. Nearly a full minute goes by between the time the robot drops the dish in the microwave and presses the button to start the cook, and there’s an edit in there. That only takes me like five seconds! We can beat the machines at this. I’m the John Henry of microwaving.

Where I think robots could really come in handy is the micro-bake process, especially where instructions are not included on the burrito package. I bet robotic precision would help take some of the guesswork out of that.

Via PopSci.