Camels are terrifying

Via Stephen:

I think the reporter holds up pretty well, considering. I mean that camel basically starts eating her and she seems cool to do a second take. Plus you can’t even be like “oh how dumb is this lady to do a live report in front of a wild animal?” because she saw it coming a mile away. So kudos to you, NBC 12 reporter. You’re a real pro.

Ever been to the safari at Great Adventure? It’s awesome. They’re really strict about saying you’re not allowed to bring food in, but only suckers who want to keep their cars intact follow those rules. Everyone knows the object of the Great Adventure safari is to get as many monkeys on your car as possible, even if that means losing a sideview mirror to the monkey that gets pissed at its own reflection.

Anyway, if you’re absolutely certain you have enough food for the monkeys you can try to lure some other animals over to your car too. So one time, to mess with the high school girl I had riding shotgun (I was in high school too, lest you think anything strange was afoot), I rolled down her window and held out a celery stalk to a camel, then pulled it into the car. The camel leaned across her and ate it out of my hand, appropriately freaking her out.

Only then the camel, maybe himself knowing about the monkeys that came later on the safari, must have figured (accurately) we had more food and didn’t pull his head out. He just chilled there. Looking at us. Doing camel stuff.

For the first minute we thought it was hilarious. In the second we started getting nervous we’d get kicked out of the park — what with all the contraband carrots and celery in the car and the huge smoking-gun of a camel leaning into the window. Then in the third we became entirely impatient, like, “get out of the car you stupid camel we have monkeys to mess with!”

But the last thing we wanted to do was anger the 900-pound ungulate that was already partly inside my car, so rolling up the window or inching the car further seemed like a terrible idea. Thankfully, we were bailed out by the driver behind us, who had apparently also grown impatient. He started honking wildly — Jersey drivers, you know — which seemed to alert or distract or otherwise prompt the camel to exit my passenger-side window. Or maybe the camel just got bored of standing there.

Also apparently the monkeys at the Great Adventure safari are now behind cages because they caused too much damage to people’s cars. So that sucks. Those monkeys were all right.

30 Japanese ads featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger

Via Brett, who has created his share of commercials himself, none of which feature Arnold Schwarzenegger:

I’m out of the office for a bit then heading to Citi Field for some video stuff, so things will be quiet around here for a while. But if you can’t entertain yourself with Arnold Schwarzenegger eating Cup Of Noodles, I don’t know what to do with you.

Chad Ochocinco sucks at rodeo

It’s true:

But that’s cool, because rodeo kind of sucks anyway. And Chad Ochocinco is awesome in pretty much every other way, so I’m happy to give him a pass for only being able to stay on the bull for 1.5 seconds.

The ESPN guys make him out to be some sort of publicity whore, but I like to think he just knows how awesome he is and realizes that his awesomeness is the type of thing that merits publicity.

Eck!

I was intimidated just looking at his headshot. Third Hall of Famer we’ve had on the Baseball Show, after Ralph Kiner and J.G. Taylor Spink Award winner Peter Gammons.

Also, I can’t mention Dennis Eckersley without bringing up one of my favorite comedy bits of all time, by fellow Hoya Mike Birbiglia.

Stevie Wonder turns 61

It’s weird to think that Stevie Wonder is a little younger than my parents (who are pretty laid-back about stuff and hopefully cool me publicly giving away their ages like this), and crazy to think that he wrote “Superstition” at 22.

Also, from Stevie’s Wikipedia page: In addition to being blind since shortly after his birth, Wonder partly lost his sense of smell in a car accident in 1973. Thankfully for us, his hearing is still cool.

Good walk-up music, for what it’s worth: