Hear you say stuff

I’ve been remiss in noting that the Mostly Mets Podcast (one of which should roll out at some point this afternoon) now has a call-in line. Except you don’t actually talk to us. You leave a message, then we play it on the show and respond. Sorry to screen your calls like that, it’s just, we’ve got this ex, and… well, it’s a long story.

Anyway, here’s what you do:

* Call us at 347-915-METS / (347-915-6387).
* Listen to Patrick reading* a welcome message.
* After the beep, say your name, where you’re from, and then ask your question for the show.
* Hang up.

Also, has anyone yet identified the guys with the bananas in the photo above? They must be on the Internet somewhere.

Lastly, I’m kind of busy today. Sorry about the general slowness.

*- Patrick, is this true? Did you write the message down and read it, or did you go from memory? Either way it sounds very professional. A lot like my dad’s office answering-machine message actually.

Don’t believe the hype

Now, private industry is beginning to take over what NASA once did. For $200,000 you can book a flight to the edge of space aboard SpaceShipTwo, the spaceplane being developed by Richard Branson’s company.

Sooner or later — in the year 2030, it says here — humans will return to that gray, airless landscape. “Just a three-day trip from Earth by spacecraft, the luminous Moon beckons,” the show notes in travel-brochure language….

Getting there is also going to be interesting. By then, Dr. Shara figures, we will have had enough of the violence of rockets and will descend and ascend from the lunar surface on a lunar elevator, “a skinny cable rising thousands of miles from the Moon into the sky,” anchored at the far end by the gravity of the Earth. In time, Dr. Shara said, the cable could be extended almost all the way to Earth.

Dennis Overbye, N.Y. Times.

OK, this space-exploration exhibit at the Museum of Natural History sounds pretty awesome and in truth I’ll probably go check it out, but don’t buy that 2030 space-tourism stuff. The space museum-industrial complex has been selling that for at least 20 years, if not longer, and as far as I know we’re not really any closer to hanging out on the moon than we were in 1990 the first time it was promised to me.

You know what’s a lot cooler than a museum exhibit about human space travel? Actual human space travel. You’re killing me, science.

So that ends that nonsense

Apparently the Mets will indeed tender contracts to Mike Pelfrey and Angel Pagan, so that ends that nonsense. I mean, I guess I should hold off on the celebrating until it happens officially, but it makes so much sense for the moves to happen — as it always has — that it doesn’t seem likely the story will change.

The joke is really on me, then, for spending so much time and energy explaining why the Mets should tender contracts to Pelfrey and Pagan (and maybe on you for reading/fretting) when most likely that was always going to be the case, and when any suggestions to the contrary may have been media-driven storylines-for-the-sake-of-storylines written to fill internet space and sell papers by people covering a team facing basically one major compelling offseason roster decision. And since no one knows where Jose Reyes will end up, and since writing the same damn thing about Reyes every day gets old, attention turns elsewhere.

The only other familiar, biggish names that could be ousted under any broad umbrella of twisted logic were Pelfrey and Pagan, so we read tons of stories of the way the team had soured on the pair and were likely looking for inexpensive upgrades that plainly did not (and still do not) exist.

But of course, maybe that’s just my narrative, and maybe there really was something to all those stories and the Mets just changed their minds. Or maybe — and most likely — there’s plenty of gray area.

The most important thing is that the Mets’ front office is doing the logical thing. It doesn’t really matter how the decision played out in the media as long as the correct one is made in the end. But the lesson, I think, is that moving forward it’s best to view with skepticism any pending illogical decisions being attributed to the team’s clearly reasonable decision-makers.

The insanity

Too many people are guessing, theorizing, and pontificating as to what is going on. The agents for Reyes and most of the teams interested in him (including the Mets) have not leaked much information and that has people grasping for things. And to generate stories, people are taking leaps of faith. The biggest was those was on Sunday when it was leaked by one member of the media that a Reyes deal with the Marlins was done except for some minor details. PLEASE STOP THE INSANITY!

For example, some people suggest that Hanley Ramirez has been asked to switch positions — others contend he has not. Some says it is a slam dunk he will move anywhere — even center field. The only thing I can tell you is Hanley Ramirez said as recently as Friday,”I am the shortstop right now.”

Rich Coutinho, WFAN.com.

All requisite hot-stove snark aside for a second, what percentage of baseball’s offseason rumors would you say are legitimately attached to actual front-office proceedings? I don’t mean nebulous “discussings” or “coulds” or “considerings.” I mean the real stuff — trade proposals, free-agent offers, things like that. Those can’t account for more than, what, 30 percent of the rumors, right?

And then think about how often a deal goes down that you hadn’t heard rumored at all. What percentage of the things that are actually happening do you think the things that are reported to be happening represent? I bet it’s not much. Maybe 20 percent, tops.

So even though there are decent reporters out there doing good work in the hot-stove season, it’s easy — perhaps even sensible — to get overwhelmed and frustrated with the glut of unsubstantiated nonsense, especially when there’s so little reward for sifting through the crap to find the real news.

To me it seems like the most productive use of offseason time is to avoid all speculative information and to instead just wait until deals actually get done and decide what I think about them then.

Something else to consider: When you see anonymously sourced hot-stove news credited to a team source, what’s in it for the team source? Why are we reading so many reports about the Marlins’ wooing free agents and so few about every other team? Are the Marlins really the only team pursuing free agents, or are they the only team very invested in having you know that they’re pursuing free agents?

Why this won’t work

From designer Athanasia Leivaditou, via Gothamist, comes word of this new “Umbrella Coat Raincoat,” proposed as a solution to this city’s unfortunate rainy-day sidewalk umbrella traffic problem:

First of all, call it whatever you want, that’s just a hood. I mean, it’s a glorified hood for sure, but something attached to the back of a jacket that you pull over your head to protect your hair from the rain is a hood. I guess this one is special because it’s, I don’t know, bigger than a regular hood.

It really goes to underscore my main issue with rainy days in the city, which is: Why don’t more people just get rain jackets? Those dinky five-dollar umbrellas you get from the guy in the poncho on the corner aren’t going to keep your pants dry anyway, so you might as well save everyone the trouble of dodging your pointy umbrella-end thingies, invest in a $40 rain jacket, buckle down and face the storm. Plus when you’re not towing your own umbrella you’re more apt to dodge the umbrellas of others.

But the main thing is that the jackasses who carry the huge golf umbrellas will never go for the Umbrella Coat Raincoat, so this won’t solve anything. If they had even a shred of human decency within them they’d realize how obnoxious it is to command the entire width of the sidewalk with their stupid umbrella and find a more reasonable one. It’s silly to expect them to just hand over the massive pinwheels they landed at the Barclays in favor of some designer raincoat that’s going to make the world better for the rest of us. They don’t care about the rest of us; that’s the thing.

The only solution is one I’ve proposed before: License to carry laws for umbrellas in Manhattan. A written test and a practical test.

Obituary glosses over jockstrap accomplishments

There’s a good story in the Times about Irving Franklin, the founder of Frankin Sports who helped popularize the batting glove in Major League Baseball and died at age 93 on Thursday:

Batting gloves, like batting helmets, were a relatively late addition to the national pastime. Unlike the helmets, the gloves are not required. But players say they provide comfort, warmth, improved grip and shock absorption. They say gloves give them a more secure feeling about their grip, especially early in a swing.

Irving Franklin’s son, Larry, recalled Monday that his father was eager to get a top-flight player to endorse something his company made. He signed up Schmidt, who suggested batting gloves. They teamed up at spring training in 1983. Mr. Franklin contributed his knowledge of making sporting goods from leather; Schmidt gave a player’s view, as he continually criticized and tweaked designs.

It goes on like that, and details the way Franklin secured MLB’s designation as the league’s official batting glove, and how Mark McGwire eschewed big money from Nike to stay with Franklin for way less during his record-breaking season in 1998. Then there’s the very last paragraph of the story:

Irving Franklin was particularly pleased about his batting gloves because the name of his company was so easy to see when television cameras closed in on a hitter. His other official major league products, cups and supporters, were not.

Lead: buried.

 

Tale of the tape: NBA Nuclear Winter vs. Nuclear Winter

David Stern referred to the recent breakdown in NBA labor negotiations as “the nuclear winter of the NBA.” Let’s see how it stacks up to the real thing:

NBA Nuclear Winter Actual Nuclear Winter
Refers to A season without NBA basketball The atmospheric consequences of nuclear war
Causes Impasse in negotiations between players’ union and owners Dense smoke from nuclear explosions and burning urban areas rising into the stratosphere, blocking out the sun and prompting drastic drops in surface temperatures for years
Most noticeable effect #LockoutLife All agriculture becomes impossible for over a decade
Understated repercussion Thousands of arena workers lose jobs in poor economy Viggo Mortensen, blinded by desperation, steals Omar’s clothes
Most unfortunate consequence Possible North American Tour for J.D. and the Straight Shot Everyone on the planet starves to death and dies