Overrated tight end is underrated hero

The Carolina Panthers hope tight end Jeremy Shockey will be clutch in their passing game this season. He’s already come up big this year in another department — saving a life.

The agent for tight end Ben Hartsock told the National Football Post that Shockey came to the aid of his client in the Panthers’ lunch room when a piece of pork tenderloin became lodged in Hartsock’s throat.

“(Hartsock) started to go to the bathroom and I don’t know if he collapsed, but he couldn’t breathe,” agent Mike McCartney told the website. “Some new guy came and tried to give him the Heimlich. It didn’t work. Then, Shockey hit him in the back pretty hard and out came the meat. The Panthers told me it was really scary.

Pat Yasinskas, ESPN.com.

How good must the pork in the Panthers’ lunch room be if Ben Hartsock isn’t even bothering to chew it before swallowing? Also, I wonder how much pork you need to buy to feed an entire NFL team.

Furthermore, I’d be remiss if I didn’t note the non-zero chance Shockey just happened to punch Hartsock in the back at exactly the time Hartsock was choking, rendering the former Giant an accidental, Larry David-style hero.

Is it me or have there been a lot of Heimlich-related news stories lately?

Via Mike.

Let he who doesn’t get liquored up and shove racks of ribs down his pants cast the first stone

If at first you don’t succeed … don’t try sticking a rack of ribs down your pants again, dude.

A Pennsylvania man with a history of public drunkenness was sloshed this weekend when he tried to smuggle the $20 slab of meat from a Giant supermarket for the second time in three months, police said.

Donald Noone, 65, of Carlisle, Pa., tried and failed at a similar rib robbery in the same store on May 22, police said. That rack was worth $13.34 – not that anybody was buying the recovered evidence.

Larry McShane, N.Y. Daily News.

This guy just keeps getting drunk and jamming ribs down his pants. You gotta buy ’em first, bro.

Next year

The Mets will inevitably make a bunch of moves, major and/or minor, before they break camp next April. But out of curiosity, I took a look at the players under team control for 2012.

Obviously there’ll be a ton of turnover at the fringes of the roster, and possibly a certain shortstop returning to the fold. But even if Sandy Alderson decides to Rip Van Winkle the offseason, the 2012 Mets should again score a lot of runs. With Ike Davis returning to first base, David Wright at third, Daniel Murphy somewhere and a host of decent if unspectacular hitters through the rest of the lineup, the club will likely boast another deep offense capable of maintaining rallies.

But one thing came up on the podcast last week: How long can the Mets keep carrying Jason Bay as an everyday corner outfielder? Can they really enter 2012 with a left fielder coming off two seasons like the ones Bay has suffered with the Mets?

Even this year, Bay has hit lefties well. The righty half of a left-field platoon is certainly not worth what Bay will be paid, but of course Bay will get his $18 million regardless of how he’s used. The Mets have a slew of Major League ready and near-ready lefty bats without obvious positions on next year’s club: Murphy and Lucas Duda already producing at the Major League level, and Fernando Martinez and Kirk Nieuwenhuis in Triple-A.

Even if one of those guys emerges as the team’s regular right fielder, would the Mets be best served using another to split time with Bay in left? In between injuries, Martinez posted an .836 OPS against righties in Buffalo. Before shoulder surgery ended his season, Nieuwenhuis rocked a .986 mark in the split. Duda has mashed Major League righties to the tune of an .823 OPS in his short career, and Murphy a .793. As a point of comparison, Bay has a .579 OPS against righties in 2011.

Granted, none of those guys has established that he can be a Major League hitter as good as Bay was from 2004 to 2009, so the top priority should always be getting Bay straightened out and hoping he returns to something like his old form. But if that doesn’t happen and the Mets still want to be winning as many games as possible, they’d likely benefit from choosing a lefty to share at-bats in left field in 2012.

The Mets’ front office showed no fear of cutting bait on sunk costs last spring, but Bay is set to make as much as Luis Castillo and Oliver Perez combined and can likely still provide the team some value in a limited role. But if he’s inked in as an everyday starter for 2012, Bay looks like a pretty big hole in an otherwise solid lineup as long as he keeps performing (or not performing) like this.

LOLMets OMG amirite

A pack of junkyard dogs is roaming the sidewalks surrounding Citi Field, menacing visitors as they exit the ballpark.

“They came at me like a locomotive,” Elaine Feerick said, describing her encounter this month with a 70-pound pit bull and a shepherd mix “that looked like a wolf.”

It’s too bad the nine on the field don’t play nearly as aggressively as the canines outside, the beleaguered Met fan said.

“My friend, who’s terrified of dogs, ran for her life faster than I’ve ever seen her run before,” Feerick said. “I stood there and the pit bull rammed into me like a battering ram — amazingly, I did not go down.”

Amber Sutherland and Jeremy Olshan, N.Y. Post.

This might be the New York Postiest article on record. It turns out “pack of junkyard dogs… menacing visitors” refers to one time one dog ran into one lady.

It’s all just a particularly silly salvo in the war between the people who like to make fun of the Mets and the people who like to make fun of those people.

Human memory is frail and suggestible

In its ruling, the court strongly endorsed decades of research demonstrating that traditional eyewitness identification procedures are flawed and can send innocent people to prison. By making it easier for defendants to challenge witness evidence in criminal cases, the court for the first time attached consequences for investigators who fail to take steps to reduce the subtle pressures and influences on witnesses that can result in mistaken identifications.

The idea that human memory is frail and suggestible has gradually gained acceptance among leaders in law enforcement, buttressed by more than 2,000 scientific studies demonstrating problems with witness accounts and the DNA exonerations of at least 190 people whose wrongful convictions involved mistaken identifications. About 75,000 witness identifications take place each year, and studies suggest that about a third are incorrect.

Erica Goode and John Schwartz, N.Y. Times.