Somewhere between meh and boo

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As of right now, 56 percent of TedQuarters readers polled say “Meh” to the news that the Mets’ sale of part of the team to David Einhorn fell through. 43 percent say “Boo,” and 1 percent — possibly the troll lobby — say “Hurrah.” Of course, this site’s readership likely does not reflect an accurate cross-section of the Mets’ fanbase.

I suppose as an SNY employee I should feel more passionately about the news, but I voted for “Meh.”

By now, I’ve become so jaded to negative and/or confusing news about the team’s ownership situation that I find it difficult to muster up much emotion even upon the event of real, meaningful news. And based on what little I learned about the Wilpons’ legal and financial woes when they last came to the fore, I know better than to trust most media outlets to report on this stuff in any appropriately nuanced fashion.

But thinking about it more now, and seeing some of the fallout online, I probably should have voted “Boo.”

For one thing, Einhorn seems like a smart dude, the type I’d like having some say in the way my favorite baseball team is run. For another, the way I understood it when the team went up for partial sale in the first place, the Mets were looking for a partner to ensure they’d be able to continue operating like the huge-market team that they are. Whether they will without Einhorn remains to be seen, but fans now lack the confidence that would have come with a rich man unencumbered by lawsuits contributing cash to the club.

Mostly, though, I say “boo” because the news means more incessant, mostly uninformed discussion of broad business proceedings that fail to interest me.

I like baseball. Sorry if that sounds willfully ignorant, but it’s the case. I’d like to know that the baseball team I root for is operating optimally and unburdened by its owners’ murky financial situation, then fret over the players the team’s front office chooses to put on the field without worrying about the way the club’s liquidity affects those choices. And I know that it’s all part of the same big picture, and that all teams are in so many ways impacted by the realities of a rich-people world distinct from my own. I get that.

But when the– Hey, the Mets got two guys!

Honkbal in Hoofddorp

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In March this year the municipality hosted a press conference about the newly to be built stadium and the ambition to open it ceremonially in 2014 with the first official MLB games in Europe. MLB delegate in Europe Clive Russell came from his office in London to the Netherlands, in order to describe the plans in cooperation between Amsterdam and Hoofddorp as “pole position for the Netherlands”….

On Tuesday morning Mister Baseball spoke on the phone with Technical Director Robert Eenhoorn of Dutch federation KNBSB. He confirmed that to the purpose of this bidbook presentation, he will fly to New York on Tuesday next week. He will accompany the delegation from the two cities Amsterdam and Hoofddorp, headed by their sports eldermen Eric van der Burg, respectively Michel Bezuijen.

– Pim van Nes, mister-baseball.com.

That sounds like a pretty awesome idea. And like Craig Calcaterra points out, for an East Coast team a flight to Europe isn’t much further than one to the West Coast.

One question, posed to me by Ted Burke: If the Dutch call baseball “honkbal,” do they also call a walk a “honk on bals”? I sure as hell hope so.

Dear Taco Bell

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Taco Bell chief marketing officer David Ovens has resigned from the company. Mr. Ovens, who has been with Yum since 2007, reportedly resigned for personal reasons and is returning to Australia with his family. Mr. Creed is expected to oversee the company’s marketing function until a replacement for is found.

– Maureen Morrison, Advertising Age.

Dear Taco Bell,

Perhaps you know me. I write a sports and sandwich blog of minor repute and I am your biggest fan.

I chose my current place of residence in part because of its proximity to a Taco Bell location. I went to Taco Bell on my wedding day, in between the ceremony and reception. I own an autographed copy of Glen Bell’s authorized biography, Taco Titan. I co-founded the Taco Bell Wiki.

I enjoy my current job very much; I cover the baseball team I grew up loving and I have the freedom to write about pretty much anything I want. But I’m willing to give all that up to be Taco Bell’s new Chief Marketing Officer, assuming the position comes with a hefty salary and a boatload of free tacos. A company car would be nice too, but we’ll settle that when we get to the negotiating phase.

And though I lack any sort of marketing experience, I trust you’ll follow the sage advice of my predecessor and Think Outside the BunTM on this one. What exactly does a Chief Marketing Officer do? I have no idea. But I bet it involves telling people about how great Taco Bell is, and so I bet I’d be pretty damn good at it. I believe in your product, Taco Bell.

If I were to be hired as your Chief Marketing Officer, I would implement my Triple-Decker Taco agenda, the following three-tiered plan to further strengthen the Taco Bell brand. The three tiers are: Interactivity, Accountability, and Crunchy Red Strips.

Interactivity: Let’s face it, Taco Bell: They’re onto you. Every savvy taco eater realizes that almost all new Taco Bell menu items come from creating new combinations of ingredients already present on the Taco Bell menu. Let’s put pretense out to pasture and turn taco innovation over to the community.

I’ve presented this idea before but I fear it fell on deaf ears: The Taco Bell website should feature an interface wherein Taco Bell fans can create new menu items out of existing Taco Bell ingredients. Think of it like a paper doll, except instead of putting clothes on a doll we’re putting Lava Sauce on a theoretical Gordita. Then someone with access to a Taco Bell kitchen — specifically me — can test out the most promising suggested Taco Bell creations and select a few to feature in an online poll. Users vote on the best-looking new product, and we serve it for a limited time at participating locations.

That’s Taco Bell 2.0, brother.

We could also poll users on which classic limited-run menu item to bring back. Except we’d have to rig the poll, because I’d really like to try a Bacon Cheeseburger Burrito.

Accountability: Have you ever been to the Taco Bell restaurant in Elmsford, N.Y.? It’s the Worst Taco Bell in the World. Sometimes you have to wait like 20 minutes in the drive-thru line. You could make your own tacos in that much time. Plus, they almost never have the red shells for Volcano Tacos. And heaven forbid you want no tomatoes on your Baja Beef Gordita, it’s practically even money they’ll serve it to you with tomatoes and without Baja Beef.

We can’t have this happen, Taco Bell. Someone needs to hold local franchisees accountable for their restaurants so that every Taco Bell store can operate as efficiently as the ones in Hempstead and Oceanside, N.Y. — fine Taco Bells both. The only way I can think of to ensure quality-of-service across all locations is to have one guy travel the country ordering and eating Taco Bell.

I can be that guy, Taco Bell.

That bell on your logo should mean something. I know it means something to me. We need to make sure it resonates with the melodious ring of cheese-drenched awesomeness, not the discordant clang of a disappointing dining experience.

Crunchy Red Strips: Seriously, Taco Bell, do you have any idea how good the Crunchy Red Strips are? Why are they not in more stuff? They’re the perfect way to add crunchiness to portable menu items, and yet they’re only included in like four things.

Let’s change that. As Chief Marketing Officer, I would see to it that we create more driver-friendly menu items featuring and/or focused around the Crunchy Red Strips. And I’d make sure all Taco Bell employees are trained to add Crunchy Red Strips to any existing menu item (for a small additional charge, of course) in an even and appropriate manner.

Clearly, increased interactivity, accountability and Crunchy Red Strips will help power Taco Bell — all Taco Bells — to the forefront of fast-food dining experiences. This is how we win the franchise wars. I am your destiny, Taco Bell.

I eagerly await your response, Taco Bell. My resume is available upon request.

Love,
Ted

 

From the bad ideas department

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Imperfect circumstances call for creative solutions, and in recent weeks the Mets have kicked around many ideas for 2012. In that spirit, a well-placed front office source said it is “a possibility” that the Mets will move Jason Bay to center field next year.

That remains far from likely, the source said, but its consideration is interesting in what it reveals about the Mets’ view of three players: Bay, Daniel Murphy and Angel Pagan….

As for Bay’s defense, advanced metrics and scouts agree that he is a good left fielder — but the scouts say that center could be challenging for him. One metric, defensive runs saved, rates Bay as the National League’s third-best left fielder, with two runs saved.

– Andy Martino, N.Y. Daily News.

What? No.

Moving Jason Bay to center field is an idea so crazy it’s almost surreal — and not “crazy” as in “just crazy enough to work.” It’s just crazy enough to fail triumphantly.

For the last two seasons, Angel Pagan has been better than Jason Bay in just about every facet of the game. Pagan is a better fielder, a better hitter and a better baserunner. The only conceivable reason to replace Pagan with Bay would be if the team were desperate to save the $5 million or so Pagan will likely earn in arbitration. And even then they’d probably be better off with someone else in center, be it Jason Pridie or Kirk Nieuwenhuis or Scott Hairston or whoever.

Would moving Bay to center field help salvage his contract? No. While the offensive standards for center fielders are lower than they are for left fielders (though center fielders have outhit left fielders in 2011), Bay’s defense in center would likely be so awful that it would render him worthless.

If the Mets believe Murphy is a better option in left field than Bay in 2012, they should simply bench Bay. Moving him to the more difficult defensive position to somehow justify his poor hitting would… man, it makes my head hurt almost as much as the thought of an outfield manned by Murphy, Bay and Lucas Duda.

As for that one advanced defensive metric: Advanced defensive metrics kind of suck. They’re better than the other defensive metrics and they’re the best tool we have to try to objectively rate defenders, but a single-year’s worth of any of them means very little. They fluctuate too wildly. The same defensive metric cited above, defensive runs saved, put Bay at zero or less than zero in each of the past four seasons and has him at -12 for his career. Unless he magically got better in the outfield at age 32, his decent total in the stat this year is likely the product of randomness.

Fun fact: One advanced defensive metric, UZR, ranks Carlos Lee sixth among Major League left fielders with at least 500 innings in the position in 2011. Actually, according to defensive runs saved, Lee has been a much better defender than Bay this year. Presumably the Astros are considering moving Carlos Lee to center field next season.

I should probably ignore outlandish stories centered around ideas deemed “far from likely.” They’re obvious blogger-bait, and reacting to them only perpetuates the absurdity. But then everyone involved is looking for something to write about, and sometimes silly ideas help beat writers and bloggers both push the proverbial peanut.

So how about this? The Mets will consider moving Daniel Murphy to shortstop. It’s not going to happen… but it could!