Unreadable paper, noble effort. Hat tip to Eno Sarris.
What constitutes a quote?
This brings to mind a conversation I’ve had from time to time with coworkers: Are you quoting something if you don’t mean to do so? That is, if you use a direct quote from a movie/TV series/whatever, but are just using it to mean what it says, rather than as a quote per se? Like, if I’m frustrated with my office computer (as often happens) and I exclaim “COME ON!”, am I quoting GOB in Arrested Development if my intention isn’t to quote him, but simply to express my frustration? Alternately, am I quoting him if my intent is to express my frustration, but my inflection in pronouncing “COME ON!” is influenced by the way Will Arnett said it?
– Josh, comments section.
That’s a good question, and I don’t really have an answer. I guess it’s quoting, sort of. Some sort of late-period language acquisition?
Whatever, probably just semantics. What I know for sure is that I do this all the time. Sometimes I feel like I entirely speak in vague movie and TV references — allusions, Michael! — and I use the same Arrested Development Josh mentions with some frequency, as well as a bunch of others (most notably, “her?” and the way Tony Wonder says, “it’s f***ed up”).
On this site, I often use the construction, “because hey, (something good),” which is ripped off from Jack Handy but so entrenched in my linguistic toolbox that I no longer really consider the source.
But certainly the biggest pop-culture influence on my spoken (and maybe written) language are Adam Sandler’s first two albums — They’re All Gonna Laugh at You and What the Hell Happened to Me? — which I wore out in my youth. There are countless quotes from those albums that I started using ago with the appropriate inflection, but have since become so much a part of the regular arsenal of things I say that now they just sound, even to me, like me.
There it is
Total hero Brendan Bilko from Surviving the Citi pointed me to a whole slew of heretofore unseen embarrassing photos of Cole Hamels last night. I’ve updated the compendium, but I figured I should call out one in particular here, perhaps the most embarrassing photo of Cole Hamels yet:

New desktop background? Oh yes. Sorry, Bill Clinton and Mr. Met.
Frenchy Tracker update
Pretty poor job by the New York papers last night. Jeff Francoeur not only had a hit, but his trademark cannon-arm fired a costly error in the Yanks’ second-inning rally.
And yet we’re only treated to one Frenchy sider, courtesy of the Daily News. That puts the tally at eight, and it’s starting to look good for anyone who had the under on 20.
Shocked to read not a single recap of Francoeur’s stay in New York, with his old apartment and favorite restaurants and everything. Maybe those are forthcoming, or maybe — heaven forbid — the papers are actually going to focus on all the exciting real baseball stuff.
And if you’re the type of person who cares about these things — and I bet you are — Francoeur now has a grand total of 10 ALCS at-bats and two hits to only eight articles. This man needs a bigger stage.
Darren O’Day’s brief, weird stint in Flushing
In an early Frenchy Tracker update, I mentioned that no reporter I knew of had yet caught up with Darren O’Day to discuss his “brief, weird stint in Flushing.” Adam Rubin finally did and totally destroyed it. Really great read, detailing O’Day’s friendship with the late Nick Adenhart, how he wound up in Texas, and, of course, a little bit about the Mets’ roster mismanagement.
The real Mark Sanchez only steals hearts
Manhattan Beach. Police are trying to identify a bank robber wearing a green “Mark Sanchez” New York Jets jersey.
The man handed a note demanding money to a teller at Chase Bank, 201 Manhattan Beach Blvd. at 8:50 a.m. Monday. The teller handed over cash.
The Jets jersey is the new Yankee hat. Still, given the team’s rep and all, Rex Ryan and Mike Tannenbaum must breathe a sigh of relief when they find out the guy in the Jets jersey committing a crime wasn’t actually a member of the Jets.
Incidentally, when I was coaching JV football, the players used to wear their jerseys to school on Friday — a pretty common tradition, I think. One Saturday morning, one of the school district’s security guards pulled me aside while the team was warming up before a game.
“Deal with this however you want to,” he said. “But you might want to tell Russo, Perez and Costelli that if they’re going to drink on school grounds after hours, they shouldn’t wear shirts with their names on the back.”
Anyway, here’s the bank robber, in case you’re in the Manhattan Beach area and looking to get into crimefighting:

Off to the Pourhouse
Not a lot of action here today, for which I apologize. Got busy trying to wrap things up so I could cut out a little early to go watch baseball with Toby. Anyway, couldn’t come up with anything better to fill up this post than this old Nooner from “The Pourhouse” set (green screen, whatever) back in April, 2009. Hit or miss, as always, but I’m still proud of the Santana joke that starts at 2:00.
The Situation’s book is going to be awesome
Vulture passes along a must-read page about dance-floor fist-pumping technique, which you should probably check out before you join Toby Hyde and me at the Village Pourhouse this evening, because that’s exactly the type of party we’re expecting.
“Winemaker Jeffrey Stambor” obviously Jerry Seinfeld in a ridiculous, bushy fake mustache
I shared this on Twitter last night but in case you’re not on there. Look at that thing! Look at that guy!
Quotes from the Times
Have we heard the last (truly memorable) word from Hollywood?
Probably not, but it’s been a while since the movies had everybody parroting a great line.
Like, say, “Go ahead, make my day.” That was from “Sudden Impact,” written by Joseph Stinson and others, more than 27 years ago.
Sticky movie lines were everywhere as recently as the 1990s. But they appear to be evaporating from a film world in which the memorable one-liner — a brilliant epigram, a quirky mantra, a moment in a bottle — is in danger of becoming a lost art.
– Michael Cieply, New York Times.
For what it’s worth, I don’t really buy it. I think — as a couple of the experts in the story suggest — it probably takes time for the transcendent and lasting movies quotes to separate from the mire. Saying that we simply don’t make quotable movies anymore strikes me as senseless nostalgia.
I will offer this, though: There are some reasonable explanations, if it’s the case that movies are no longer as universally quotable. For one, Hollywood studios now rely on foreign box offices for 68% of ticket sales, creating more pressure to make blockbuster movies that will succeed in translation and so perhaps less emphasis on dialogue.
Plus — and I think more importantly — the era filled with supposedly unquotable movies covered in the article has seen the rise of great TV.
Thanks to more competition among satellite and cable providers, we have more channel options. There is undeniably better and bigger-budget programming on those channels, and HDTV technology allows us to enjoy that programming in quality that rivals or betters the cinema from the comfort and convenience of our living rooms.
And when I think about it, while I really don’t quote a ton of movies from the last few years, I quote The Wire, The Office, Park and Recreation and Arrested Development almost constantly.
Hat tip to Jonah Keri for the link.