On absolutely everything

At its core “The Grand Design” is an examination of a relatively new candidate for the “ultimate theory of everything,” something called M-theory, itself an extension of string theory, which tries to reconcile general relativity and quantum mechanics. “M-theory is not a theory in the usual sense,” the authors write. “It is a whole family of different theories.” According to M-theory, “ours is not the only universe,” the authors say. “Instead M-theory predicts that a great many universes were created out of nothing.” The image that comes to mind here, others have written about M-theory, is of a God blowing soap bubbles.

But Mr. Hawking and Mr. Mlodinow assert that “their creation does not require the intervention of some supernatural being or god. Rather, these multiple universes arise naturally from physical law. They are a prediction of science.” Many of these universes would be quite different from ours, they add, and “quite unsuitable for the existence of any form of life,” or at least any form of life remotely like ours.

M-theory, if it is confirmed, would be “the unifying theory Einstein was hoping to find,” the authors write. But it’s a somewhat disappointing theory, a patchwork quilt rather than a fine, seamless garment.

Dwight Garner, N.Y. Times.

OK, let me make this perfectly clear: I am in no position to reasonably doubt Stephen Hawking. Through endless Wikipedia tangents, I’ve tried to wrap my mind around theoretical physics, and I pretty much can’t do it. It seems like it’s the type of thing you’d need to be a physics major in college to fully grasp, and I was an English and music guy. I am not qualified to be discussing this.

But my understanding of M-theory is that it’s an attempt to explain everything we know about how the universe started under the terms of everything we know about how the universe currently functions, at the atomic level, on Earth, in deep space, everywhere.

And all that stuff is complicated, so you kind of work backwards to reconcile everything and settle on a pretty convoluted-sounding conclusion that states there are 11 dimensions, a bunch of them unknowable and unprovable, and you just kind of have to believe they exist because it’s the only way we can figure out to make sense of this all.

Again: I’m oversimplifying and talking out my ass about something I don’t really understand at all. But I read a pretty awesome article in Discover a couple months ago (which is unfortunately not online) that suggested a controversial counter to M-theory.

Some say the laws that govern our universe could have changed over time since the Big Bang, sort of like evolution, except without the whole survival of the fittest part. And so, they say, the scientists trying to use the physical forces as they currently exist to explain what happened eons ago are looking at it the wrong way.

That seems to make sense to me, uninformed though I am. It’s a difficult thing to even think about, but if all of the galaxies in the universe were once compressed into one dense mass, it seems believable that the physical laws governing that mass might be different from the ones governing everything now. Does that make any sense?

Maybe not. No more theoretical astrophysics. The game’s on.

This.

The Mets perpetually throw away at-bats on pieces not likely to contribute in 2011. It happened in a small way Tuesday when David Wright was scratched and Mike Hessman rather than, say, Nick Evans was used at third base in his place. And it could happen at second base this weekend with Jose Reyes scheduled to return to the lineup Friday to face Philadelphia’s Roy Halladay.

Asked if Ruben Tejada would see the bulk of the starts at second base once Reyes returns, Manuel indicated not necessarily — saying Luis Hernandez merits time based on his recent performances.

Adam Rubin, ESPN New York.

This. Evans needs at-bats. Tejada needs at-bats. I’m rooting like hell for Hessman, but he’s not part of the team’s future. To piggyback on my earlier point, Evans could be a homegrown Fernando Tatis type without the million-dollar pricetag. And yet the Mets didn’t want him playing the outfield in the Minors for some strange reason and now are opting to give Hessman more at-bats in the Majors.

This is part of the issue with having a lame-duck manager. Manuel has no impetus to do anything besides win games and better his resume. Even an organizational interim guy might be motivated to take a look toward the future and improve his standing with the club.

Gag order will not prevent Daily News’ from sexy, druggy coverage of Clemens trial

Like a loose manhole cover above a steamy city sewer, there may be a weak spot in the gag order a federal judge applied in the government’s prosecution of Roger Clemens, who pleaded not guilty last week to charges he lied to Congress in 2008.

A gusher of sex and drugs stories about the famed pitcher could erupt from a civil lawsuit filed by his former trainer, Brian McNamee, in the Brooklyn courtroom of U.S. District Court Judge Sterling Johnson, starting Wednesday.

Teri Thompson and Nathaniel Vinton, N.Y. Daily News.

So no actual juicy news here, but let’s recap: “Loose,” “steamy,” “gag,” “gusher,” “sex,” “drugs,” “erupt,” and, of course, “manhole.”

The future’s so bright, I gotta wear transition lenses

OK, so this point is more easily made after Dillon Gee’s nice outing last night, but it’s less about any one game and more about reiterating something I’ve been saying for a long time: I don’t think the Mets are in as bad shape as we all think when we’re crying ourselves to sleep at night.

I wrote about this at length in February. For the first time in recent memory, the Mets actually have a crop of young players that appear to be decent and near-ready to be cost-controlled Major League contributors. Not necessarily stars, mind you, just guys.

I’ve been railing for years about how the team mismanages and overspends at the margins of its roster, and here — and I’m not saying this is on purpose, mind you — we see the makings of a low-cost complementary unit that might actually offer the team some youth, upside and flexibility.

The Mets currently have Ike Davis, Josh Thole, Ruben Tejada, Lucas Duda, Nick Evans, Jonathon Niese, Jenrry Mejia and Gee on the Major League roster and contributing in some fashion. All are under 25.

Not all those players will develop into Major League regulars, of course. Some won’t even be Major Leaguers. But all have at least something promising about them — some more than others, naturally — and so at least some of them will likely be a part of the next good Mets team, assuming the next front-office regime puts together a good team.

And that’s the thing: I don’t aim to defend the Mets here. The Mets are a poorly run operation that seems to have stumbled into a crop of decent young players. I have no idea if they intentionally chose not to trade any prospects the past couple of seasons or just couldn’t get their act together to do so, but either way, they mishandled Mejia and even Evans this season.

All I’m trying to get at is that there might actually be something good brewing here, we’re just having trouble seeing it because we’re so bitter about everything that’s happened with this club over the past few years. Things can turn around quick when a team has a good core of young players — look at the Padres.

It might take the Mets a while to get unburied from all the bad contracts, and who knows what else might be done to screw it all up. Plus I’m not saying the young players alone — even with David Wright, Jose Reyes, Mike Pelfrey and the other locked-in elements of the Mets — are nearly enough to guarantee a winner. They’re just elements of a winner is all, and elements that could allow them to go out and acquire the big name players without having to commit millions of dollars — and hundreds of at-bats — to the Marlon Andersons and Alex Coras of the world.

Q&A with Grady Phelan, bat inventor

When I walked into the visitors’ clubhouse on Saturday, Ike Davis and Josh Thole were examining one of Thole’s new angled-knob bats. Thole told me it was designed to protect against hamate-bone injuries, and I pointed out that Thole choked up anyway and was an odd choice to be debuting the new bat design.

During warmups the next day, several Mets passed one of the bats around, fascinated both by the oddly shaped knob and the bat’s finish.

I snapped a picture of it a few hours before Mike Hessman used it on his pinch-hit double on Sunday, becoming the first Major League player to do so. The inventor of the angled knob, Grady Phelan, made his way here and was willing to answer a few questions about how the idea came about and how the bat works.

Ted Berg: First off, how’d you get into the bat-design business?

Grady Phelan: My youngest son, Brian, and I have a summer ritual of fungoing hickory nuts out of our backyard -– it’s great practice and makes for a fun afternoon. While we were hitting these green nuts into the woods the bat I was swinging slipped from my hands nearly hitting Brian. The knob had been digging into the palm of my hand, had left a nice bruise in my hand (similar to what you get from your first time in the cages every spring). That’s when I realized that the knob probably caused my grip to fail. I started to do research on thrown bats, hand injuries, anatomy and even started to experiment with bat designs to eliminate the problem.

TB: So did you just get on a lathe and start crafting? I think even if I came up with a good idea for a better bat knob I wouldn’t know where to go from there.

GP: I didn’t get a lathe at first. I had a local custom wood turner make a five or six bats that I could carve my designs into. It’s one thing to buy a lathe and try to turn a bat, it’s quite another to find quality ash and Maple that can actually be used to hit baseballs with.

TB: And how did you finally settle on a design? How did you test the bats out, get feedback? And what are you using to produce them now?

GP: I worked through an endless series of designs, testing in the cages with my son and refining each iteration. While I was doing that I also started researching patents on baseball bats to see what was out there. I did a lot of homework on rules that govern bat shapes for MLB and NCAA to ensure I didn’t create something that would be illegal. My thinking at the time was if I was going to do all this work I might as well try to protect my idea, so I submitted a patent application and then started testing the bats with players. The patent was issued this past June.

I’m fortunate to know some college baseball coaches in the St. Louis area and they let me bring my bats to practice for the players to try. After each session in the cages I had them fill out a survey on the bats.

I’m currently working with Rock Bats, an MLB-certified bat company, to produce bats with my angled-knob design. It’s owned by the wood scientist who developed the MLB specifications for maple bats, Roland Hernandez. So not only is the wood these bats are made of the best, the performance of the bat in the players hands is designed to give them their best swing.

TB: You mentioned in the comments that the bats give players “quicker hands, stronger swings, better plate coverage and reduced incidence of injury.” Is that the conclusion from those surveys, or is there more evidence pointing toward that? And do those benefits come just from the ergonomic design of the knob, or is there more to it?

GP: The test results from the batting cages indicated players felt a number of performance improvements. Players said they could extend the bat better with more ease and control, they said they felt like they had quicker hands and that their swing felt smoother. As the data came in showing consistent responses from players at all levels, I began to think I had come across something new –- something every other bat maker had overlooked.

The wife of a good friend is a professional hand therapist and university teacher –- I showed her the bats, told her my theories and explained my findings. Soon after that meeting I found myself in the physical therapy labs at Washington University School of Medicine, using digital pressure sensors to test the knob pressure on the hands of my bat and a standard MLB bat. The tests consistently showed a roughly 20% decrease in pressure to the base hand from the knob with my bat.

So in fact, the ergonomics of the knob reduces the pressure to the base hand allowing a more natural and powerful swing to occur. Standard knobs cause what I call “The Speed Bump Effect”, at the point of contact with the ball the batter rolls his hands over the knob –- it’s this pressure point that causes broken hamate bones, thrown bats and weak swings.

I believe batters have become accustomed the negative forces of the knob in their base hand and their natural swing suffers because of it.

TB: I know that in addition to the knob, one of the things that seems to fascinate a lot of the Mets about Thole’s new bat is the finish, which is a bit rougher and harder than you usually see on Major League bats. Do you know anything about that, or is that all Rock Bats? Were you at all involved in the process of getting them to Thole, and are any other Major Leaguers currently using them or testing them out?

GP: Rock Bats developed the proprietary Diamond Barrel finish on the bat that has the Mets talking –- it’s impressive technology and Rock Bats is the innovator on that one. It is all about developing technologies that players want to use.

I got the bats to Josh in a round-about way. It goes back a few years when new neighbors moved in across the street. Their son and ours play baseball so we’re always talking baseball. His cousin, Josh Thole got drafted by the Mets, began playing Single-A ball and the connection was made. I sent Josh some bats over the years and he used them in batting practice. Now, I can’t take credit for his batting skills, but it is interesting that players who have used my angled knob bats have had the highest batting average on their teams at one point or another.

You can’t just give someone bats to use in an MLB game, they need to be made by certified bat makers, which Rock Bats is. I met Roland early this past spring and we hit it off (pardon the pun). We made the bats, I let Josh know I would meet him in Chicago with the bats. So my son Brian and my wife drove to Chicago with the bats in the car and met Josh outside the clubhouse before the game.

Other players using these Rock Bats are Cory Hart and Prince Fielder. The response to the angled knob and the finish has been surprising. I actually didn’t think anyone would use the bats right away. I was guessing it would take a few days in the cages for someone to get comfortable with it. And as you know, Mike Hessman is the first MLB player to ever use an angled knob bat in a game and he got a double with it.

TB: Thanks so much, Grady.

You can check out Grady’s website here or follow him on Twitter here.

Second City sleuthing

When the team-dispatched fan photographers make their way around Citi Field, it seems like most Mets fans no-thanks them away or, at best, muster up a halfhearted smirk and shove the claim card in their pockets to be discarded later.

Not so at Wrigley Field. Not this weekend, anyway. Cubs fans stand and pose their best Facebook poses, arms around each others’ shoulders, faces locked in mile-wide smiles prepped to withstand digital shutter delays. When the photographer walks away, they examine the card and file it in a wallet or handbag, then cheerfully turn their attention back to crappy, meaningless September baseball.

Everyone told me about how Cubs games almost always sell out even when the team sucks, and how the fans almost never boo, though they haven’t seen a champion in over a century. So I went to Chicago hoping to learn something, trying to take from the Second City some lesson I could bring home about patience or eternal optimism, to find out what it is about those people that allowed them to tolerate a terrible team for such a long time. An ambitious goal obviously, but Chicago is built on the maxim, “Make no little plans.”

For a day, I considered that perhaps the Wrigley crowd was like an audience full of Tyler Durdens, nihilists enjoying baseball games for the sake of baseball games, in isolation, absent of hope. Remember that in Fight Club, Durden maintained that true freedom came only after you hit rock bottom. I thought maybe all these Cubs fans stopped dreaming years ago and could come out to Wrigley to drink and watch, unencumbered by the desperation that claws at fans of the 29 other teams. Maybe they don’t need any validation; maybe they just want to see baseball.

But I’m not sure that’s it.

Many of the people I asked maintained that Cubs games — or at least these particular Cubs games — are more a social event then a sporting one. The park is the attraction, and all the day games draw the carefree, playing hooky. The loudest cheers we heard all weekend came for the successful completion of a stadium wave on Sunday. After that, the most raucous applause came for a guy who made a nice play on a foul ball, and the only jeers were aimed at a fan slow to throw a Met’s home run ball back onto the field of play. Fans rooting for fans.

I came to Chicago under the impression that Cubs were the drunken, epithet-spewing cretins that so flummoxed Milton Bradley, the racists that buy the terrible t-shirts I saw selling on the street outside, the angry mob that looked ready to murder Steve Bartman. But the people I encountered were attractive, bubbly, happy to be there. Maybe some were buzzed, some even tipsy. But none appeared bitter, downtrodden, angry or even the slightest been concerned that the Cubs idled in fifth place in the N.L. East.

I suspected the bleachers held some answers so I tried to make my way there. I wasn’t allowed. Turns out the “all” in “All-Access Press Pass” does not include the bleacher section at Wrigley. I asked everyone I could to find out how I could get in, but I was denied at every stop. They said the bleachers were for fans only.

So I have no idea what goes on there. Maybe it’s more of the same, the smiling Facebook set with their cheery singalongs. Or maybe those are the real Cubs fans, and they’re all just too drunk or too sad, too terrorized by bad baseball to summon the strength to boo their team so late in a lost season.

And I realize that’s probably the big thing, that trying to measure Cubs fans when their team is out of the race in September is unfair or impossible, that it would be a whole different story if the team was actually playing for something.

But then again, it’s not like that happens that often.

On Sunday night, before I left the city, I went up to the observation deck on the 94th floor of the John Hancock Center. I looked out from that skyscraper at all the others, behemoths tapering swiftly into the endless suburban twinkle. And I wondered how people could stand in the shadows of such accomplishments and still stand for this, how a place with the hubris to erect so many stories on so much land could stomach so much losing.

I have a feeling it’s something that would take a whole lot more than a weekend to understand.

Norm!

I’m going to do this sports show. It’s like a “Daily Show” for sports that they’ll put on Comedy Central. It’s supposed to be weekly. They eventually want to do it daily, but I don’t. It’s very hard to make something funny every day.

Norm MacDonald.

Every few years someone comes out with something and says it’ll be  “the ‘Daily Show’ for sports.” And every time it happens, my former roommate Ted Burke and I get all angry about it because in college we hosted a program that very much fit that description and always dreamed about doing it on some grander scale. And we always convince ourselves that we could do a better job of it than Jay Mohr or the Sports Soup guy or whoever.

Norm MacDonald inspires no such anger from the award-winning co-hosts of “The Award Winning SaxaCenter Program.” Because that show likely would not have existed or survived without MacDonald’s massive impact on our style. I can’t speak for my former co-host, but I welcome the return of Norm MacDonald to weekly television. This man is a hero. The O.J. stuff is kinda sad to see, though, since it’s what ultimately got him canned and all.