Talking Rangers-Yanks and a little Mejia

Chris M brought up a good point via e-mail the other day: The Rangers are using stud prospect Neftali Feliz as their closer.

It’s not exactly the same as the Mets’ situation with Jenrry Mejia for a couple of reasons: For one, Feliz dominated Major League hitters in relief last season, so he presents much more of a sure thing in late innings for the Rangers than Mejia does for the Mets.

Second, the Rangers appear much more likely than the Mets to compete in their division, and so have a better case for jeopardizing long-term interests in the name of short-term success.

Still, it’s easy to argue that the Rangers are making a mistake. Without having followed the team that closely this spring, I would, especially since Feliz might already be an upgrade in the Rangers’ rotation over journeyman Colby Lewis and converted reliever (and excellent Twitterer) C.J. Wilson.

Anyway, I asked Adam Morris of LoneStarBall.com about that, plus previewed the Yanks’ upcoming series with the Rangers for today’s episode of The Baseball Show:

Honestly, what is it about Philadelphia?

Could this happen in any other city? A grown-ass drunk man deliberately vomiting on a little girl. Despicable. Kind of hilarious, but despicable.

I want to believe that everything I think about Phillies fans is fallout from confirmation bias and the like, plus I know these are isolated incidents, but man, it doesn’t seem like even Yankee fans sell sex for World Series tickets or intentionally barf on children.

UPDATE, 11:13 a.m. I realize that terms like “despicable” sound rather sanctimonious, something I generally like to avoid. But let the record show I’m typing it while shaking my head more in disbelief than in actual fury. 

Lookout Landing compiles All-Austen team

C: Taylor Hill Teagarden
1B: Joshua S. Whitesell
2B: Brent Stuart Lillibridge
SS: Clifton Randolph Pennington
3B: James Gordon Beckham III
LF: Aaron R. Cunningham
CF: Jonathan Eugene Van Every
RF: Joshua David Willingham
DH: Thomas James Everidge

Jeff Sullivan, Lookout Landing.

It goes on from there, and it’s an impressive and well-compiled list to be sure. I’ve never considered an All-Jane Austen team, perhaps because of my general distaste for Jane Austen.

Brent Lillibridge, though, would likely also crack the middle infield of my All-Dickens team, which would probably look somewhat similar to the All-Jane Austen team, except the names would be a bit less WASP-y and a bit more, ahh, whimsical I guess?

Candidates for the squad: Lillibridge, Lastings Milledge, Chone Figgins, Norris Hopper, Calvin Pickering (who’s no longer playing but clearly needs to be included), Ty Wigginton, Grady Sizemore, Nolan Reimold, Willie Bloomquist, Taylor Teagarden, Blake Hawksworth, Burke Badenhop.

Tony Tarasco: Some sort of stoned, expletive-laced New York-baseball answer to Forrest Gump

It’s probably the most talked about Yankee at-bat song since 1999, when outfielder Tony Tarasco made news by striding to the plate as the Stadium sound system blasted a profanity-laced version of “Tommy’s Theme” by The Lox. Tarasco later claimed he had requested an edited version of the tune, but the part-time scoreboard operator deemed responsible was fired almost immediately.

N.Y. Daily News.

Wow, I do not remember that happening. Actually, looking over the dates of Tarasco’s brief stint with the Yankees in 1999, I realize there’s a solid chance this went down during the two-week vacation to Spain my friends and I somehow convinced our high school to let us count for a senior project.

I have to figure I would have heard about it if I wasn’t 3000 miles away, given my interest in at-bat music and profanity.

Anyway, it strikes me that Tony Tarasco, despite playing only one season as a Major League regular and amassing barely 1000 at-bats, has been at or near the center of at least three notable New York baseball incidents.

Recall that in Game 1 of the 1996 ALCS, Tarasco was the Orioles’ right-fielder who didn’t catch the ball that 12-year-old Jeffrey Maier, perhaps the world’s least-deserving owner of a Wikipedia page, pulled into the bleachers for an improperly ruled home run.

Tony Tarasco also played an integral role in the Mets’ 2002 Up in Smoke tour, as the driver when rookie reliever Mark Corey fell victim to what just might be the only recorded marijuana-induced seizure in medical history.

To boot, Tarasco’s own Wikipedia page claims he played with TedQuarters hero Tsuyoshi Shinjo in Japan in 2000, and is the cousin of Jimmy Rollins.

Some kind of Superman

The E-League playoffs start May 1.

What’s the E-League? It’s a Santa Monica-based celebrity basketball league. Though its Web site is hardly basketball-reference.com, the league does provide box scores for every game.

The records contain a hilarious roster of exactly the type of celebrities you’d expect would have time for such a thing, and attendance is spotty among the ones I’ve heard of. The kid who played McLovin’ almost never shows up.

The best player in the league, by far, appears to be Brian McKnight’s son, Brian Jr., who’s not really a celebrity. Bill Bellamy is pretty good when he plays, which I imagine must be completely intolerable for everyone else on the court.

Wood Harris, the actor who played Avon Barksdale in The Wire, might not be a suit-wearing businessman, but he’s more than just a gangster, I suppose: He has a fine scoring touch.

But one celebrity baller deserves credit not for his play, but for an attendance record that stands head and shoulders above those of all other celebrities who have ever graced the pages of any glossy magazines:

I’m talking about Dean Cain.

While the more current and relevant stars like the Jamies Foxx and Kennedy get pulled away from the league by their duties performing in Oscar-bait like Ray and Malibu’s Most Wanted, Dean Cain apparently had nothing better to do than show up for six of the Boston team’s seven games for which the E-League’s site has box scores posted.

And though the man who once played Clark Kent is hardly a Superman on the hardwood, his teammates can count on him for a handful of points and workmanlike efforts on the boards weekly, even as their squad is mired near the basement of the E-League’s Eastern Conference.

Maybe Taye Diggs steals the spotlights and the ladies’ hearts on the rare occasion he does show up for Cain’s Boston team, and maybe someone named Jarod Paige is a more potent offensive weapon, but Boston fans can count on Cain cleaning up the glass weekly, sweat glistening from his once-chiseled jawline.

Where is teammate Joel McHale, listed on Boston’s roster but almost never in attendance? Who knows? Probably off filming Community. Cain is not Joel McHale’s keeper. (Sorry.)

The E-League playoffs include every team in the league, so Cain’s Boston club has a longshot chance at the league championship, scheduled for May 8. Given the squad’s performance, though, it would take a miracle for the Boston squad to advance that far. Something only a real Superman could accomplish, or at the very least the promise that Cash Warren could pull himself away from sitting around wondering how he got so lucky in life to finally suit up for his E-League unit.

Still, at least one E-League enthusiast and analyst — this one, who’d never heard of the league until about an hour ago — will call shenanigans on the whole affair if Dean Cain is not named to the Eastern Conference’s All-Star team that weekend.

Because though Cain’s contributions to Boston may not present themselves in the box score, he has reliably presented himself in the gym, week in and week out. That sort of leadership cannot be measured, and though it’s hardly superhuman, it’s damn-near heroic.

Talking pitching with Bobby O

Talking about pitching with actual former Major Leaguers = easily the best part of this job. My only regret is that we don’t tape the way-longer conversations we have to prepare for these bits, which are a bit saltier.

Joe Janish makes a good point

Jon Niese threw 99 pitches, but only 10 were curveballs — supposedly his signature “out” pitch and what many feel is his best weapon. Though, from what we understand, the thin air in Colorado destroys the vertical break of even the best curves. I liked what I saw from Niese’s ability to handle himself in the postgame interviews, and believe he is mentally and emotionally prepared to pitch in New York. Unfortunately, he appears to be extremely vulnerable without the deuce. But, it’s likely the last time in 2010 he pitches at a mile-high altitude, so he should get back to being the MLB-average pitcher the Mets need him to be. I’m not concerned in the least.

Joe Janish, Mets Today.

That seems about right. I forgot all about that factor while watching Niese pitch last night, though, and I kept wondering what happened to his reliable Uncle Charlie.

Indeed, according to ESPN New York, Niese told reporters after the game, “I really didn’t have a feel for my curveball. I tried to throw it for a first-pitch strike and I just really couldn’t get it there. … It’s tough to get a good curveball going here. I left a lot of curveballs hanging in the bullpen when I really wanted to bounce it. To Barmes, I left that hanging and he hit it.”

Mystery solved, then. And that should, as Janish suggests, quiet immediate concerns about Niese. If you’ve got doubts about the effects of altitude on curveball specialists, check out the late Darryl Kile’s career in Colorado, juxtaposed with his seasons immediately before and after.

Bacon Ranch Tortada: Color me unenthused

I got so caught up in another new sandwich-style product from a Yum! Foods restaurant that I almost forgot to write up Taco Bell’s new Bacon Ranch Tortada.

You probably know by now that I like Taco Bell, and you might remember that I enjoy bacon, and you may even recall that I believe meats wrapped in breads are the hallmark of civilization.

Still, I purchased a Bacon Ranch Tortada with tempered expectations. While Taco Bell products with bacon sound amazing in abstraction, they’ve never entirely hit the mark. Remember the Bacon Club Chalupa? Disappointing.

It seems Taco Bell has never really nailed the preparation of good bacon. I mean that as no disrespect to Taco Bell or bacon, naturally, but I think this gets overlooked pretty frequently in discussions of the merits of fast-food restaurants: Wendy’s is the only major national fast-food joint that makes truly delicious bacon.

McDonald’s bacon just kind of tastes like everything else from McDonald’s, only with a slight aroma of bacon. Burger King bacon is thin and soggy. The KFC bacon on the Double Down was overpowered by the fried chicken flavor, and totally extraneous to the sandwich — probably just thrown on there for the sheer Rex Ryan bravado of it all. (Also, probably thrown on there to tempt Rex Ryan, gastric band or no gastric band.)

Wendy’s bacon is legit. The Baconator is the showpiece of Wendy’s bacon package, but even lesser offerings like the Value Menu’s Junior Bacon Cheeseburger provide a decent slice of crispy, tasty bacon — albeit a small one.

Perhaps the secret to preparing decent fast-food bacon died with Dave Thomas though — rest in peace, brother — because even Taco Bell’s bacon is nothing special. Taco Bell chops its bacon up into small bits which bear a decent amount of bacon flavor, but are a bit too salty and entirely lack bacon crunch.

As for the rest of the Bacon Ranch Tortada? Color me unenthused. I should say that another reason I wasn’t expecting much is that I generally avoid chicken products from Taco Bell that aren’t the long-gone Chicken Caesar Grilled Stuft Burrito, a limited-time promotional item most notable as the debut showcase for the Crunchy Red Strips.

Straight up? And again, no disrespect, but Taco Bell chicken has just never done it for me. I’m here for the beef, baby.

Anyway, all that said I thought maybe the Bacon Ranch Tortada would at least be marginally interesting, since the tortada itself appears to be a new development. And I mean really a new development. I’m not sure such a thing as a “tortada” exists in actual Mexican food, as there’s no Wikipedia page for “tortada” and I can’t find any Google returns for tortada that are not about the Taco Bell products.

Still, you have to hand it to Taco Bell for at least improving their ability to come up with more realistically Mexican names for their new products. A tortada sounds way more like something I’d eat in Guadalajara than a MexiMelt, although now that I’ve had both I’d probably opt for the MexiMelt if it were available, because MexiMelts are totally delicious.

The Bacon Ranch Tortada? Less so. It’s not really even a new thing; it’s basically just the tortilla from a Crunchwrap Supreme filled with extant Taco Bell ingredients, plus the disappointing bacon. It’s like a Crunchwrap Supreme without the Crunch, and I guess without the Supreme since there’s no sour cream in there either. Oh, and it’s sliced in half, since that’s what makes it a tortada apparently.

Now look: I don’t begrudge Taco Bell its right to repackage familiar Taco Bell ingredients in new ways, plus I appreciate the use of the delicious avocado ranch sauce here, but it’s my responsibility as a journalist to call Taco Bell out when it misses the mark, and that’s what happened with the Bacon Ranch Tortada. Dry chicken, uninspiring bacon, no crunch. Still delicious, mind you, but not something I’ll ever order again.

Plus, if Taco Bell’s going to keep rolling out new products without actually incorporating new ingredients, they should probably consider my innovative and interactive flash-driven interface idea.

Solutions > vitriol

Based on some of the comments, I’m guessing I didn’t clearly explain what I meant to say in my post earlier this morning. What I meant to say is this:

I’m as disappointed as any Mets fan about the way the team is run, but it has nothing to do with the first seven games of this season. These games have been indicative of many of the problems that have troubled the Mets over the past several seasons, but they are only seven games, and so getting riled up only on account of them — if you were more optimistic before the season — is probably silly. The Mets are better than their .286 winning percentage. A .286 winning percentage would make them one of the worst teams of all time, and I don’t think anyone thinks they’re that.

The Mets can’t bring back Nelson Figueroa from the Phillies now, but they can still work to unbury themselves from the mire by revisiting several of the decisions they likely mishandled near the end of Spring Training and in the early parts of this season.

A couple, real quick:

Start Angel Pagan in center field every day: It sounds as if this is already starting to happen, and based on the overwhelming response to yesterday’s poll, I’m not sure I need bother explaining why it should (also: thanks for reading, Gary Matthews Jr.!).  But to put it simply, Pagan is most likely a better defender than Matthews and almost certainly a better hitter, and the team as currently constructed needs all the offense it can get.

Yes, Pagan makes mistakes in the field and on the basepaths, but no matter how frustrating they can be, they are not enough to mitigate what he offers to the club over Matthews.

Call up Chris Carter to replace Mike Jacobs: This one’s a lot less likely to happen, but I’m sticking with my position on the matter from before the season. Carter’s not off to the best of starts at Triple-A Buffalo, but he’s more likely to get on base than Mike Jacobs and more likely to knock one out than Frank Catalonotto, even if he lacks that elusive Major League experience.

I understand the calls for Ike Davis given Davis’ impressive Spring Training performance and hot start to the year. And I recognize that it seems somewhere between odd and hypocritical for the Mets to be patient with Davis while throwing Jenrry Mejia to the wolves, but the first-base prospect — as impressive as he is — did strike out in more than 25 percent of his plate appearances in Double-A last season while struggling with left-handers. Davis’ time will come, but until he proves he can hit Triple-A pitching (across more than 26 plate appearances), Fernando Tatis and Carter can hold down the fort more aptly than Jacobs until Daniel Murphy returns.

As for the rest? Calls for the heads of Omar Minaya and Jerry Manuel, while understandable, are unrealistic. Those cases should have been made — and in many cases, were made — long before the season started. If the the powers-that-be felt confident enough in their general manager and manager to endure the offseason and start the year with them, changing their minds now would indicate a near-horrifying lack of confidence in their decision-making ability. I’m not entirely sure how or why that matters outside of the inevitable bad press, but it certainly wouldn’t send the best message to the replacement hires.

As for John Maine? In the absence of Figueroa, Maine should probably get at least a few more opportunities to work out his kinks before he’s dispatched to Triple-A or the bullpen. Yes, he looked shaky all Spring and awful in his first two starts, but two starts are two starts, and among all the legitimate concerns about Maine’s velocity and control, it’s easy to forget that he did pitch effectively in a small sample after returning from injury last season. Sure, he beat himself after last night’s game, but Maine beats himself up after every bad start — resist the urge to resort to armchair psychology.