Search for the Mothership

In concert, the Mothership was last spotted in Detroit in 1981, belching dry ice fumes and flashing kaleidoscopic light. An aluminum flying saucer, it was about 20 feet in diameter and decked out with dazzling lights. Below it stood a band of otherworldly eccentrics celebrating the hard-won freedoms of the civil rights movement in a freaky, fantastical display.

Chris Richards, Washington Post.

Go read this article, a thorough and well-penned investigation of what happened to Parliament-Funkadelic’s Mothership, last seen in a junkyard behind a gas station in Prince George’s County, Maryland in 1982.

Enjoy some funk. Language NSFW:

The drumming of restless Mets fans

Brrrrump bum ba bum, bum bum bum bum ba bum!

Hear that? An angry mob of restless Mets fans, torches lit, are beating their drums. The drums are getting louder now as their crowd swells, and with the pulsing rhythm comes a cacophonous chorus of chants:

FIRE JERRY! CALL UP IKE! CAN MINAYA! F@#$ JOHN MAINE!

Brrrrump bum ba bum, bum bum bum bum ba bum!

The once-Shea Faithful appear no longer that, and perhaps rightfully so. Their team mustered only two wins in its first seven games of a season in which they were promised results, coming off a season in which they got none of them.

And the patient contrarians who cry “sample size,” point to a long season and call for calm are drowned out by the drumbeat, hushed by angry villagers yelling, “sample size? I’ll show you sample size! We’re going on four years worth of sample size.”

Still, though the Mets are not very good, their fans should take solace in the fact that they’re almost certainly not this bad. Despite their 2-5 record, they’ve only been outscored 33-30, and they managed that without Jose Reyes for four of their games.

Things will get better. Perhaps not much, but better for certain. They can’t get much worse than they were in last night’s loss to the Rockies.

What’s most puzzling about the drumming is how much of it appears fueled by shock, as if anything happening in front of us is surprising. The 2010 Mets feature several excellent players who have not been good enough to carry too much dead weight in the lineup and on the pitching staff; a top-heavy roster poorly constructed and too frequently mismanaged.

This is a new thing?

A quick thought on offensive language

Thinking out loud: Sherm and I had a quick exchange about linear weights in the comments section here a month ago, and for whatever reason, I thought about it this afternoon.

For years, I’ve argued that a big reason more people haven’t been exposed to more advanced offensive metrics is a simple matter of the language involved: We have easy verbs at our disposal that describe the standard, back of the baseball card stats that so many of us grew up with.

If I say, “David Wright hit .307 last season,” you know that I technically mean, “David Wright got base hits in 30.7 percent of his at-bats last season,” and you take it on faith that the average I’m presenting is correct and don’t bother looking up his at-bats and hits and doing long division.

I can attest that when writing about baseball, it’s sometimes tempting to rely on batting average — even if it’s an imperfect measure of offensive performance — for that reason alone. Saying “he hit .307” is easier and less awkward, in the course of a 500-800 word column, than writing, “he posted a .390 on-base percentage” or “he had an .837 OPS.”

I have to imagine there are baseball writers out there — ones much more widely read than I am — who would be more willing to incorporate advanced stats into their work if only there were more convenient language in place.

For a while, I searched for a verb that could convey on-base percentage. I e-mailed back and forth with John Peterson of Blastings! Thrilledge about this back in the day, but I don’t think we ever came up with a reasonable answer. To say “he based .390” sounds like some sort of drug terminology. “He reached .390” sounds like it was something he was striving for. “He safed .390”? Just weird.

Regardless, perhaps linear weights provide potential for a breakthrough. Though in concept, they are a bit abstract and somewhat difficult to grasp, they attempt to assign specific run values to every possible offensive outcome, relative to zero (making an out).

The stat wOBA — an attempt at a single, context-neutral universal offensive metric — relies on those linear weights. A good primer can be found here.

But instead of making the stat an average of linear runs produced per plate appearance, the stat’s creator, Tom Tango, made it scaled to the league-average on-base percentage to make it easier to digest.

That’s cool, and as someone who has been digesting on-base percentage for a while now, I appreciate it. Still, it adds another layer of complexity to an already esoteric metric, and one I doubt will help it earn any converts among the multitudes who weren’t already using OBP to measure offensive players.

This is almost certainly wishful thinking, and I’m probably missing something here, but I wonder if the stat would be easier to grasp if it were a simple, unscaled average of linear runs per plate appearance.

In my imagination — which is far removed from reality — that could solve the verb problem, since I could write “David Wright produced .320 last year,” or whatever it was, and you could know I meant “David Wright produced offensive outcomes worth .32 runs per plate appearance last year.”

Still too abstract for general consumption? Now that I think about it, yeah. That’s a really broad stretch beyond batting average.

Plus, like I said, I’m sure I’m missing something somewhere. Step up and tell me how I’m wrong, Internet.

Mets-Rockies series preview

This is, without question, the most businesslike conversation I’ve ever had with Scott and Ted, the hosts of Rockiescast and my buddies from college.

For a far less businesslike and far more unbearably lengthy conversation, check out the most recent episode of that podcast, a slaphappy 90-minute marathon recorded after all three of us had spent a bit too much time in the sun on Sunday.

Kiss the rings

Usually, Balfour will design the best ring it can imagine before discussing the budget with team ownership. Management then brings in the veteran players to take a look, and to offer designing input. After the 1999 title, Roger Clemens was so impatient to show off his long-awaited champion’s status that he designed his own hefty ring, with the help of a designer friend, to complement the team’s official ring.

Jeter hasn’t looked at his rings in a while, but says his favorite is still the one custom-made by Clemens.

“When we get rings, a lot of people get them,” Jeter said. “The idea of having a ring that only the players got – the players, coaches and The Boss – that was pretty cool.”

Filip Bondy, N.Y. Daily News.

Bondy put together an excellent collection of information about World Series rings here, and I urge you to check it out. For one thing, I learned that Chili Davis requested one of his World Series rings be inscribed with “Chili Dawg” instead of his proper name, but his wishes were vetoed by the fascist killjoys who run the Yankees.

As for the excerpted bit, what a typically annoying and presumptuous thing for Roger Clemens to do. Imagine you’re a jewelry designer. You’ve spent years training and honing your craft, and you know that your big contract — the World Series ring — is one of your best shots to publicize the fruits of your labor.

It’s not the easiest gig of your year, as you want to create something unique, but that incorporates tradition, and something appropriate for front-office types to wear to their suburban barbecues but flashy enough to suit the fancies of the players. Plus once it’s all done you’ve got to subject your design to the approval of a bunch of guys who haven’t spent nearly as many hours thinking about ring design as you have.

But you weather it all because it’s a great contract, and because you know when it’s all done your work will be broadcast on the evening news and proudly displayed on the fingers of 25 living, breathing, posturing billboards.

Then, as you’re tinkering away, crafting your annual showpiece, you get the news: Roger Clemens, perhaps on edge from all the Icy Hot on indecent parts of his body, wants his World Series ring NOW RIGHT NOW, like a petulant child. And so Roger Clemens, because he’s got unlimited resources and couldn’t care less about your artistic process, just went out and made his own damn World Series ring.

Obviously.

And then to top it off, Jeter — Derek Jeter, the Captain, the guy who has yet to say something wrong in his entire career — goes out of his way to praise the ring Clemens and his (presumably) tacky Texan designer guy created.

Why? Exclusivity. Derek Jeter just thinks it’s so special that there’s a ring out there whose value isn’t watered down by all the unimportant people who managed to get their grubby little hands on one.

The six-game shakedown

OK, this isn’t a fully formed blog post but I want to publish it somewhere and I can’t quite condense it to 140 characters:

Mets fans reacting to posts like this one by saying that six games do not signify enough to justify a major overhaul are absolutely correct. Six games’ worth of evidence in a 162-game baseball season should not be used to form any worthwhile conclusions.

But that reaction implies that Mike Jacobs and Gary Matthews Jr. should have been starting for the Mets in their respective positions in the first place, and there is a whole, whole lot more than six games’ worth of evidence to show otherwise.

Moneyball movie happening

Pitt obviously is committed to seeing this through. Many felt he would jump after Sony execs halted production on the Steven Soderbergh version of Moneyball, days before shooting was supposed to get underway last summer. That version had a $58 million price tag, and a docu-drama visual style that didn’t match the down-the-middle drama that was written by Stan Chervin and Steve Zaillian. Presumably, Pitt will be rewarded with a stronger back-end definition that gives him a bigger payday if the film succeeds…

Mike Fleming, Deadline.com.

I think plenty of people would argue that Brad Pitt’s back-end definition couldn’t possibly be any stronger, but color me psyched for the Moneyball movie regardless.

I would have cast Norm MacDonald as Billy Beane, partly because he sort of looks like Billy Beane and partly because if I were making a movie I’d probably cast Norm MacDonald in the lead even if it were the next Harry Potter or Shaft or whatever.

Regardless, this should be interesting, if not necessarily an exciting movie. Here’s hoping it successfully conveys the actual ideas presented in Moneyball. Movies are a good way to get worthwhile information to people who refuse to read books.

What hath Colonel Sanders wrought?

I did it. I went to KFC and ordered the Double Down on this, the evening of its national debut.

Holy moly.

The Double Down, if you haven’t heard, is a sandwich made with fried chicken instead of bread. It’s got pepper-jack cheese, bacon and special sauce in the middle. The special sauce is predictably orange and pretty obviously mayonnaise-based.

The real winner here, once again, is the United States of America. This is how we rear back and spit in Jamie Oliver’s smug face.

As for the product: The first thing you notice is how damn heavy the thing is. Thing must weigh a pound. It was my local KFC/Taco Bell combo joint, and I foolishly ordered a Volcano Taco as well, not knowing the size of the Double Down.

Damned if I didn’t give that taco away.

I gave a taco away. A hot, crunchy, spicy Volcano Taco, and I couldn’t eat it. The Double Down is greasy, fellas. I’ve got something of an iron stomach, but the Double Down is give-a-taco-away greasy.

Not sure if you would’ve figured that from the whole “two pieces of fried chicken with cheese, bacon and mayonnaise” thing if I didn’t spell it out for you. But yeah, greasy.

Greasy and totally delicious. I probably took 10 years off my life tonight, and I’m not certain it wasn’t worth it. It tastes like, well, two pieces of fried chicken with cheese and bacon inside. I’m not sure how I could describe it that could make it sound better than that. It tastes like what it is, and what it is, frankly, is awesome.

That’s a tasty sandwich, if we’re calling that a sandwich.

That’s a tasty tribute to culinary absurdity.

Will I order one again? I doubt it. It’s not something I’d want to eat while driving, for one thing, so it didn’t seem appropriate for drive-thru ordering, plus I like variety, and the Double Down pretty much prevents you from ordering anything else at KFC or the adjoining Taco Bell while you’re there.

Curtis Granderson looking for help

The one thing everyone keeps asking me about is what I am going to do to respond to the Roll Call tradition from the Bleacher Creatures….

From what I hear, a lot of players do fun things like flex their muscles when they’re called. I still haven’t decided what I am going to do for it and I’m open for suggestions from Big League Stew readers. What should I do? Leave your good ideas for my response in the comment section below.

Curtis Granderson, Big League Stew.

OK, first off: Just about everything about this is awesome. Players going straight to fans for advice on how to participate in a tradition at their new home stadium? Another win for the Internet.

Also, the first commenter suggests giving them the finger. The ninth suggests Granderson greet fans by learning how to hit lefties.

As for an actual suggestion, it’s a tough one. My initial thought is, “Dance the robot,” but that’s just because my initial thought is to dance the robot whenever anyone puts pressure on me to do anything. Man, I really wish I could dance the robot.

In truth, in that setting it would probably seem like trying too hard, as would any salute that took more than a half-second or so. That’s really limiting, and all my best ideas are ill-suited for a family environment. That should make them perfect for Yankee Stadium, of course, but I doubt Granderson’s looking to make any waves in his first home opener.

Except the one, I guess.

Anyway, go help Curtis Granderson. He seems like a nice guy, and if he’s not going to hit lefties, he might as well have something cool to do when the animals in the Yankee Stadium bleachers start chanting his name.