Faith is a funny thing

The Jets, perhaps channeling that one guy in every fantasy league who picks up guys based on their reputation instead of their production, signed LaDainian Tomlinson yesterday.

Mike Salfino is down on the move:

Tomlinson has packed more action into a shorter period of time than any back ever. And his yards per carry sunk to an abysmal 3.3 in ’09 after dipping to 3.8 in ’08. His career average now sits at 4.3 but was 4.5 after ’07.

But the Chargers couldn’t run the ball last year, the optimists say. I agree. But the other Chargers backs averaged 3.9 yards in 162 carries. That’s more than a half yard better than Tomlinson, who performed almost as poorly as Jones relative to other Jets backs — Jones was 0.7 yards under Greene/Washington. Maybe Tomlinson is better than Jones after all.

But the point is, neither should be on the Jets roster. Yes, Jones has been a good back and Tomlinson a great one — a sure-fire Hall of Famer and true multi-dimensional workhorse. But gravity always wins. None of these guys will ever outrun Father Time.

My rational side agrees with Mike. Even if I’d guess Tomlinson will be a little more effective next season with the fresher legs affording him by a complementary role, I recognize that it’s not great business to go about acquiring running backs who have already flipped the odometer.

But faith in a general manager and head coach is a funny thing, and one I’m still getting used to. I’m not even certain exactly why I trust Mike Tannenbaum and Rex Ryan so thoroughly after just one 9-7 season and a nice run of playoff success. I don’t know; I just do. And that’s not like me at all.

So though I have my doubts about the move, and I do wonder why the Jets’ braintrust would see fit to give an obviously Tomlinson more money than it would have taken to re-sign Thomas Jones, coming off a 1,402-yard season, I just kind of assume they know something I don’t.

Maybe Jones was more reluctant than we realize to take on a complementary role. Maybe they valued Tomlinson’s sure hands and familiarity with Brian Schottenheimer just that much.

Who knows? All I’m sure of is that it’s a nice feeling to not fret too much over a team’s offseason wheelings and dealings, though the Jets have made a fool of me before.

Remembering John Maine

So John Maine had a crappy outing Grapefruit League outing yesterday, providing everybody everywhere with reason to remember John Maine.

Maine, I think, often gets lost among Ollie Perez and Mike Pelfrey in discussions of the questions in the Mets’ rotation. We talk about the Good Ollie and the Bad Ollie and whether or not Pelfrey is crazy or just the victim of the horrible defense behind him, and Maine’s sort of forgotten, with the assumption that he’ll be pretty good if he’s fully healthy, and that he may never really be fully healthy.

I was a guest on The Happy Recap Radio yesterday and we discussed Maine a bit. The knock on Maine has always seemed to be his stamina, and so I speculated that if it didn’t appear to be working out for him as a starter, he could thrive in a bullpen role. He’s got a good fastball that’s a very effective offering for him in the past, and I figure if he could dial it up a notch in shorter bursts, he could be a pretty great setup man.

It’s funny, then, that it turns out Maine chalked up his rough outing yesterday to entering the game as a reliever. To his credit, it’s not something he’s had a whole lot of practice doing — Maine has made 216 starts in college and professional ball and only seven relief appearances. (And despite that, Maine has gone on record with his choice of closer music, one of the best reasons to like John Maine.)

Anyway, the THR guys and I also discussed Maine’s injury issues the last couple of years. I wondered on the show if Maine flourished under Rick Peterson, reputed as an expert in keeping pitchers healthy through sound mechanics.

I did a little investigating this morning to see if there have been any marked differences in Maine under Dan Warthen. I used June 17, 2008 as an end date, which I realize is a bit arbitrary since obviously it’s not like Maine completely shifted to all of Warthen’s philosophies the day Warthen took over.

Anyway, here are Maine’s lines with the Mets before and after the Tuscan tile replaced the hardwood floor.

Under Peterson: 362.3 IP, 154 ER, 321 K, 142 BB, 46 HR, 3.83 ERA, 4.25 FIP

Under Warthen: 140 IP, 70 ER, 107 K, 71 BB, 16 HR, 4.50 ERA, 4.68 FIP

What does that mean? Hard to tell. The biggest difference is that Maine was a lot better at staying on the mound under Peterson, but I’m unwilling to chalk that all up to the change in pitching coaches.

Pitchers get hurt, after all, and Maine could have been well along the path to injury by the time Warthen replaced Peterson. Since the differences in FIP aren’t massive, it’s likely the Maine’s uptick in ERA is more the product of some bad luck and terrible defense, not to mention the shoulder injury.

Of course, the Warthen/Jerry Manuel team, while paired with the Mets’ front office, hasn’t done a lot to inspire confidence that it can successfully coach players back from injury.

The grand conclusion? I’ve got none, other than that Maine was good enough in 2007 and when healthy in 2008 — and heck, in his final few starts after returning from injury in 2009 — that he’s certainly earned the benefit of the doubt for 2010. One Spring Training outing shouldn’t ever change anything.

Items of note

Parties who guy the umpire will be killed.” Also, I hope whatever book distribution list I’m on makes with a copy of the forthcoming one about Mark Twain and baseball.

How appropriate that the day after The Nooner ended for good Rex Ryan got lap-band surgery.

Actor Peter Graves passed away at 84. You’re in charge now, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Roger Murdock.

All we need is $550K and Weird Al and we can make UHF a reality.

The gift that keeps on giving

I have a couple of posts I was hoping to get done this weekend but it doesn’t look like either will be finished today, so instead, read Brian Costa’s profile of Jenrry Mejia. It’s fascinating:

“I didn’t like baseball,” Mejia said. “I just wanted to make money.”

Only after Mejia turned 15 did he begin playing baseball, a decision fueled not by some newfound love of the game but by the same ruthless pragmatism that caused him to eschew it in the first place.

When Pedro Martinez signed a four-year, $53 million contract with the Mets in late 2004, Mejia realized what so many other teenagers in the Dominican Republic already knew: For the talented and lucky few, baseball is a way out.

Whoa. A lot to process here. First, and I recognize that this isn’t exactly breaking news, what does it say about the conditions in the Dominican Republic if Jenrry Mejia developed Major League dreams because they were relatively practical? I abandoned my Major League dreams because they were so impractical. (Also because I sucked.)

And it’s actually kind of refreshing to hear Mejia say that straight up, I suppose, and to read a feel-good story baseball story that doesn’t involve any treacle about some kid’s unyielding love for the game.

But the most interesting thing about the piece, I think, is the implication that Mejia only even took up baseball because the Mets signed Pedro to that big contract. I know we’ve heard a whole lot about how that deal improved the Mets’ standing with Latin American prospects, but here’s some concrete evidence of it.

Really takes the sting off Pedro’s final two injury-prone seasons with the Mets, doesn’t it? Jeez. If Mejia turns out half as good as people seem to think he will (and the Mets don’t screw it up somehow), Pedro’s contract becomes a steal in some bizarre way, like a gift that keeps on giving.

So that’s cool. I’m a big fan of the man, as you may know, and so here’s hoping Mejia can help Mets fans remember him in a more positive light.

Death of a Web series

The last-ever episode of The Nooner went up today on SNY.tv.

For a variety of reasons, I can’t quibble with the decision to pull the plug on the show, but I still find it a bit sad.

It’s sad because I spent about the first two hours of every workday for the past 22 months writing jokes for the show, and that’s a whole lot of energy to invest in anything. And getting paid to write comedy has long been a dream of mine, and since writing for The Nooner became part of the job for which I’m salaried, I was able to convince myself that I was, indeed, paid to write jokes.

And it’s sad because we had such high hopes at the start, and I fear we failed on them at least partly because too often the show wasn’t funny enough.

I wrote it in conjunction with Jeff, the show’s producer, and though I’m certain we came up with a good deal of actually funny jokes over the nearly two-year run, it was really, really hard to churn out three minutes a day of entertaining material every single day given how little time we had to create it and the limitations on our content created by this network’s (totally reasonable) standards on decency.

Jeff insists the show worked to a point, and that the fact that it ran for nearly two years and had sponsors for most of that time means it was a success. He’s probably right. It was something good that ran its course, I guess.

But the process grew increasingly tiresome as it became clear that the show was not blowing up like we hoped it would. We found ourselves repeating material a ton, which is a cardinal sin in comedy writing. We wrote so many damn fat jokes about Eddy Curry, then CC Sabathia, then Rex Ryan, then Bengie Molina.

Brittany Umar, the host of the show, was awesome throughout. I don’t know that she had much of a background in comedy before she started working with us, but she picked it up amazingly quick. She’s also incredible at reading a teleprompter, which I can attest is much harder than it looks. Plus she put up with so much of our nonsense, and was game for absolutely everything we asked her to do on camera.

Anyway, the upside to the show’s departure is that the extra couple hours every day should benefit readers of this blog, since I should have a lot more time to think and process what to write in this space. I’m excited about that.

It’s just a little depressing to see a lot of hard work just sort of drift off into cyberspace.


Something to make Mets fans feel better

James Kannengieser reacted to some news out of San Francisco that outfielder Fred Lewis could get cut by the Giants with a nice post to Amazin’ Avenue about how Lewis would be a nice upgrade in the Mets’ outfield.

It’s true, and I agree with James, so read his post.

But since I couldn’t figure out why the Giants would cut a player like Lewis, I figured I’d catch up with official TedQuarters San Francisco insider Dailey McDailey for more insight.

Or maybe I just opted to publish a partial transcript of our online discussion. Here it is:

TedQuarters: Word is the Giants are going to straight-up cut Fred Lewis.

Dailey McDailey Honestly, I’d rather he be on a team that would let him play. Bruce Bochy will never give him a chance.

TQ: Bochy doesn’t like him?

DM: Bochy only likes old catchers.

TQ: That makes sense. But aren’t they going to carry like six people significantly worse than Fred Lewis?

DM: More like 10. He was No. 2 on the team in OBP last year. But Andres Torres is a “real” lead off hitter. Eugenio Velez had three good weeks. But he can’t play defense either, because he’s a second baseman. I hate my team. I’d like to [deleted for decency] Brian Sabean, [deleted for decency].

TQ: So their plan to upgrade their offense was to part ways with the guy who was second on the team in OBP last year?

DM: Then [deleted for decency] Bochy’s face. Nobody in the Giants front office knows what OBP is. They know batting average, which doesn’t apply to Molina, because he’s clutch.

TQ: Makes sense.

DM: It’s a team run by old sportswriters, and it makes me want to die.

TQ: It makes me feel better about the Mets, if that means anything to you.

DM: It doesn’t. The Mets have won a world series in your lifetime.

TQ: Yeah, but I only barely remember it.

DM: I remember losing to the trashy team from across the bay because a [expletive] earthquake leveled the city, and then losing to the trashy team from down the state because our manager wouldn’t let our best pitcher go in Game 7. Then I remember pissing away the prime of the best player ever. Then I remember pissing away the prime of the best pitching combination to come up together since Koufax and Drysdale.

TQ: Life is good, huh?

DM: We had one owner retire and another die, and Sabean still survives. WHO IS BACKING HIM? I WANT ANSWERS!

TQ: Can I publish portions of this conversation, tastefully deleting but alluding to the parts where you say what you’d do to Sabean and Bochy?

DM: You can publish every word if you want.

One more quick thing, then I’ll shut up

Adam Rubin reports that Jerry Manuel “appears to prefer” going with 20-year-old Ruben Tejada over Alex Cora in Jose Reyes’ stead.

Though Rubin’s usually on top of these things, it’s just a report and so I don’t want to overreact. And I’m bored of killing Omar Minaya for signing Alex Cora to the deal he did when he did.

But if that’s true, that means that this offseason, coming off a season in which their starting shortstop got hurt, the Mets signed a backup shortstop that their own manager was not comfortable starting if their starting shortstop got hurt.

One more time: If that’s true, that means that this offseason, coming off a season in which their starting shortstop got hurt, the Mets signed a backup shortstop that their own manager was not comfortable starting if their starting shortstop got hurt.

I suppose that’s slightly overstating the case. For all I know, Manuel’s perfectly comfortable starting Cora and just happens to think Tejada’s great.

That’s a stretch, though, considering Tejada didn’t exactly light the world on first at Double-A last year, and he’s 20, and…

You know what? Screw it. No more on the Great Alex Cora Debate until the season starts, I promise. I’m certain you’ve already made up your mind on the matter anyway.

Stop everything

Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap.

Look at Mark Sanchez:

This is from some Samsung event showing off new 3-D TVs, apparently. That’s what the glasses are about.

The burgeoning handlebar mustache, though, is all Sanchez.

!!!!!!!

I’m speechless. This might be the best day of my life.

The quarterback… OF THE FUTURE.

Items of note

The Mets signed skinny lefty Mike O’Connor to a Minor League deal. I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for him since he tossed a great start against the Mets in his second career outing in 2006. Probably an organizational depth signing, though.

One of the world’s leading crocodile and alligator experts died, but not in the way you’d guess. Sad.

The Big East Tournament has been predictably nuts, and Brendon Desrochers is holding it down.

Alex Nelson remembers Pete Schourek. I remember that Pete Schourek spoke at my Little League dinner and totally threw David Cone under the bus. I think he might have even called him a pervert. It was weird, and my memory is hazy because I was 12 or something, but I’ll consult my dad.