Sandwich of the Week

I’m not sure I’ve ever had a duck sandwich before. Turducken yes, straight-up duck no.

The sandwich: Chubby Chinese Girl from Certe, 55th between 5th and 6th in Manhattan.

The construction: Chunks of duck on a toasted baguette with cilantro, strips of cucumber and carrot, pickled radishes, lettuce, chili sauce and hoison sauce.

Important background information: Certe is very close to my office and offers a large variety of tasty-looking sandwiches, including monthly and daily specials. I had never found it until I Googled “best sandwich in Midtown Manhattan” on a whim earlier this week. The Chubby Chinese Girl is only available on Thursdays.

Certe’s menu boasts, “We don’t just sell food. We sell certainty.” If only! What I wouldn’t pay for certainty in this capricious world.

What it looks like:

 

How it tastes: Tasty. It tastes primarily like the mix of hoison and chili sauces, but it so happens that’s a nice blend of sweetness and spiciness with flavors that go together well. And the vegetables, including the pickled radish, give it some of the flavors and textures of a typical banh mi.

The duck is a tiny bit disappointing. I got the sandwich because I was intrigued by the idea of a sandwich with duck meat. At its best, duck can be more moist, more flavorful and more fatty than more common poultry, and outside of its price it seems ripe for sandwiching. What is Peking duck but a Far Eastern cousin of the sandwich (or the soft taco) — when right, delicious duck with sweet sauce wrapped in a starch. But here, the duck was a little dry and chewy. It worked fine as a meat to add muscle to the sandwich, but it didn’t bring anything particularly special to the item.

The baguette, toasted, was pretty hearty and very crusty, the type of bread I’d certainly love under butter. But it was sort of a chore to chew, so combined with the duck it made eating this sandwich a good workout for the jaw.

Again: Still a very good sandwich. These quibbles come from the distinction between my sky-high hopes and the only building-high reality of the thing.

What it’s worth: The Chubby Chinese Girl costs $8.95, pretty much the baseline rate for any non-street-meat lunch in Midtown. I’ve paid well more for way worse sandwiches in the neighborhood.

How it rates: 70 out of 100.

Friday Q&A pt. 3: The randos

I like both of those stories, especially Bartleby — though I’d say that probably straddles the line between short story and novella in its length. My favorite short story, American or otherwise, is “Harrison Bergeron” by Kurt Vonnegut. It lacks Melville’s linguistic flourishes, certainly, but it’s no less enthusiastic. And I’m a sucker for both Vonnegut and dystopian-future stuff in general.

For what it’s worth, I also really liked O. Henry’s “The Cop and the Anthem” and Jack London’s “A Piece of Steak” when I was younger. Neither quite holds up the same way now as I don’t love O. Henry’s prose and London seems a little too blunt with his themes, but they both seem to fulfill certain requirements of short-story telling. I also always — and still like — Roald Dahl’s “The Landlady,” too.

I read a lot of fiction, something I don’t get into that much on this site. Actually, at home I pretty much exclusively read fiction, and have, for the most part, since childhood. Generally I read before bed, so I never feel confident reviewing or rehashing books if I might have dozed off during important parts. But for whatever it’s worth, anytime in the past that I envisioned becoming a writer, it was almost always as a fiction writer.

You know? I was for a while, but then I put up that suggestion box a few weeks ago and a bunch of people said they wanted more Q&As and mailbag stuff. So I figure one day of it a week — on Fridays when I’m generally scatterbrained and busy anyway — makes sense. As long as I keep getting good questions, I don’t see why I’d stop. They force me to consider things I probably would not if I weren’t prompted, and that’s welcome.

I reserve the right to ditch the Q&A posts when I feel they’re stale, of course. And speaking of this particular Q&A post: I thought for sure I had a third “rando” that I wanted to address, but now I can’t find it. So I’ll end here. Enjoy the weekend.  Sandwich review tomorrow.

 

 

Twitter Q&A, part 2: Food things

For me: Mustard yes, milkshake no. French fries are as much a delivery method for toppings and condiments as anything. Sure, they can be delicious on their own, but that’s because they’re delivering oil and salt even when they’re not dipped in anything. I happen to prefer thinner, crispier french fries. I’m not here for the potatoes, folks.

Anyway, I love mustard and if a french fry is the most convenient available method for getting mustard in me, well then hell yes. I like milkshakes too, but I tend to distinguish my meals from my desserts. Blurring that line seems weird to me. So I don’t drink milkshakes with dinner either. Dinner then milkshake.

Great question, and I hate to cop out but I don’t know if I could pick just one. Off the top of my head, Hall of Famers from Di Palo Dairy and Cafe Ollin stand out, though I’m not sure I’ve been entirely consistent with my ratings. Also, there are plenty of times when it seems I want nothing more than a standard Shackburger from Shake Shack. Usually those times are when I’m walking past Shake Shack. It’s the smell of them that gets me. Do they have a Sbarro machine churning out the smell or something? Also, do people who work there get sick of the smell?

https://twitter.com/dustinparkes/status/233920279762587648

Not as much as I probably should. I’ve heard of the cheeseburger/chicken mash-up of which you speak. Is it not too big to bite? I’d certainly try it.

The only place where I’ve had any luck experimenting with off-menu food items is at Taco Bell, some details of which I covered here. I’ve since also had a Cheesy Gordita Volcano Taco Crunch, which was good but not appreciably better than the sum of its parts. What I’d really like is about two unsupervised hours in the Taco Bell test kitchen to see what I could come up with. I’d probably want to bring a couple friends and my dad along too, creative and dedicated Taco Bell eaters.

I certainly could. Despite how it may seem from the sandwich reviews here, I don’t typically eat pork more than once or twice a week and I almost never eat shellfish. I do like putting cheese on meats, but I could certainly do without it for a week if I had to. I don’t know why I would, though, since I’m not Jewish. No offense to anyone who keeps Kosher, of course, but then I’m not sure why anyone would be offended by my lack of Judaism. I just feel like whenever you bring up religion you need to say, “no offense” to cover your bases. So really, no one take offense to anything here. I just happen to love pork.

I’ve got enough willpower that I’m confident I could do just about anything for a week. Vegan? Sure. It wouldn’t be my favorite week, but I could do it. Hell, I imagine I could fast for a week if I absolutely had to for some reason.

Friday Q&A pt. 1: Mets stuff

https://twitter.com/ryankelly/status/233920887181701120

Well I’m not going to tell you what to do; like him all you want. For me? No, I’ll never like Chipper Jones. I kind of love him, I think, in some bizarre Freudian way, but I hate his guts. He’s obviously an awesome player and he does some hilarious things — many of which seem aimed at straight-up trolling Mets fans, which I appreciate because I do the same thing sometimes. I’m hoping to write more on this at a later date so I don’t want to scoop myself, but one of the few downsides to this job is it changes the way you are as a fan. Actually, I’m not even sure it’s a downside — it’s just a thing. I’m not the same Mets fan I was six years ago.

My first day with a credential, I went into the Phillies clubhouse after Jimmy Rollins booted a ball that cost Philadelphia the game. Because I hated Jimmy Rollins, I figured, subconsciously, that he’d act like a jerk and prove himself worthy of my hatred. But it turns out Rollins is a disarmingly nice guy.

I’ve never met Larry Jones and he’s pretty much the last Major Leaguer that I actually hate, and I feel like I owe it to my teenage Mets-fan self to hold on to that forever. I’m sure he’s not a bad guy, but he’s the bad guy.

https://twitter.com/RobvanEyndhoven/status/233920066733895682

I see no rush. Duda will be back in September, no doubt, but it’s now clear the Mets aren’t going anywhere this year. Duda’s probably the best offensive option the Mets have for regular play in left, but if the team is actually concerned about his confidence, he might as well get the opportunity to gain it back by feasting on Triple-A pitching for a couple of weeks.

Of course, I’m less certain that’s the issue. The biggest concern surrounding Duda has to be his defense, as it seems pretty clear he’s not going to be a big-league right fielder anytime soon. Since Ike Davis appears entrenched at first — and also probably not rangy enough to play the outfield, for those wondering — Duda needs to play left field until he proves he can’t. I don’t see why he’d have anything close to adequate range in left if he didn’t in right, but maybe he’d at least be better equipped to cover it with his arm in left.

https://twitter.com/GSchif/status/233926888907735040

I assume it’s Colbert, phonetically, because he’s a total Colbert. Also, someone needs to make a weekly Cole Hamels news show called the Colbert Report, sounding out the t’s.

https://twitter.com/JoeBacci/status/233925241389330433

I had heard that, yes. I’m not much of a soccer fan. I don’t want to get into the reasons and start some sort of pro vs. anti-soccer comments section flame war like it’s 2006, but neither the sport itself nor the culture surrounding it really appeal to me. I like the one Italian guy who looks like he’s from the future.

But I would welcome the idea of a soccer team in Flushing if it meant, ultimately, that there’d be more things to do before and after Mets games. This is a purely selfish thing, not an eminent domain thing or a Wilpon thing or anything else: The Willets Point development can’t happen soon enough. I’ve been to most of the Major League ballparks in the country, and I can’t think of any that sit in aesthetically worse immediate areas than Citi Field does. The whole baseball experience would (and hopefully will) be more pleasant if the Iron Triangle were anything but rows upon rows of chop shops. Even if it’s totally corporate and cookie-cuttery, it’d still be nice to have someplace to go within quick walking distance of the stadium and the subway besides the one bar attached to the stadium.

Stickball stuff

Adam Doster’s excellent post to the Classical about Chicago’s regional variety of softball got me thinking about the regional baseball-related game popular in my neighborhood growing up.

Throughout high school and college summers, my friends and I played hundreds of stickball games. Some summers, before stuff like jobs and girlfriends got in the way, it seemed like we played nearly every day. We played other sports too, of course — basketball sometimes and pickup tackle football pretty often. But those typically required more guys or more effort than stickball, our default outdoor activity.

There’s some stuff on the Wikipedia about stickball, but it includes descriptions of varieties we never played. Our version is what the Wiki deems “fast-pitch stickball,” requiring a spray-painted strike zone on the side of a school building. We played with a wooden stickball bat — available at the local sporting-good store — and a tennis ball. The balls and strikes rules are the same as regular baseball, with no limit on foul balls or foul tips.

Because games were typically 3-on-3, 2-on-2 or even 1-on-1 in lean times, there was no baserunning. Ground balls fielded cleanly by the pitcher were outs, as were any fly balls caught by a fielder. Ground balls past the pitcher were singles, and doubles, triples and home runs were distinguished by predetermined landmarks at each field. At the place we most frequently played, my old elementary school, doubles were anything on the gravel area built around the playground, triples were past the playground, and home runs — which were more or less impossible — were past the soccer goal on the field behind the playground.

The game emphasized the pitcher-batter matchup, even more so than real baseball. Plus if it’s a 2-on-2 or 3-on-3 game, you get to hit and pitch much more often than you do in a regular 9-on-9 baseball game.

Most of the time, I played with the same rotating group of 8-10 guys, so we developed pretty keen scouting reports on each other. One guy, who was the best pitcher on our high-school’s baseball team and could touch 90 with his fastball, was the only one capable of intimidating hitters with a tennis ball. One guy threw a sneaky curveball on both sides of the plate. Another guy had great control but reliably threw first-pitch fastballs down the middle that you could sit on. I honestly don’t want to get into more detail even now for fear I’ll give something away for some future game, even though we haven’t played in eight years or so. As recently as a few weeks ago at a bachelor party, several of us were sharing notes on the guys that weren’t around.

I sucked at pitching, relying on a crappy slider and a loopy curveball that often got too much plate. But I developed into a decent wrist hitter with a good eye, the best way to succeed in stickball. Also, because the strike zone was painted in the crook of the L-shaped elementary school field and everything that hit the side wall was foul, pulling the ball provided no benefit.

And something funny happened. I quit baseball after Little League because I wasn’t very good and took up lacrosse for a while because physically violent sports better suited my body type and mentality and because it seemed like a better way to stay in shape for football. I played stickball religiously, but didn’t try baseball again until I joined an 18-and-under travel team with some friends. By then — and I am sure it was because of stickball — I could hit a bit, leading the team in OBP and finishing second in batting average. I am sure it was because of stickball because I hit almost everything right back up the middle — either a groundout to the pitcher, a single through the hole, a fly out to the center fielder or an extra-base hit over his head. I’ve been playing baseball in Brooklyn for six years now, and it took me at least the first two to start pulling the ball with any regularity. Also, I still want to play stickball, almost always. Old habits die hard.

Notable area stickball alumni include Taking Back Sunday drummer Mark O’Connell and ESPN host Kevin Connors.

Everything even resembling baseball is pretty awesome. What version did you play?