Just a friendly reminder that dogs, though awesome, are almost unutterably gross no matter what you feed them

People are going to fancy butchers to buy grass-fed dog food. This is a trend; I have noticed plenty of gourmet and high-end products available for pampering dogs. And dogs are awesome, so I don’t want to stop people from treating their dogs like royalty. But I would like to remind you:

1) Dogs eat or attempt to eat practically everything that falls on the ground.
2) Dogs roll around in dirt.
3) Dogs lick their own asses.
4) Dogs seem inordinately concerned with other dogs’ asses.

Dogs are totally gross. You can feed them Peter Luger steak sauteed in white-truffle butter with caviar, but that’s not going to keep them away from other dogs’ asses. Nothing will. The good parts of having a dog outweigh the bad, but the bad part is accepting that you’re welcoming a disgusting animal into your home.

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