Screw everything, get Todd Coffey

All normal hot-stove caveats should apply here, but I’m going to strap my blinders on and assume there’s something real behind the rumor that the Mets are interested in reliever Todd Coffey.

Coffey is utterly unspectacular. He has a career 105 ERA+, he allows a decent number of baserunners, he doesn’t really strike a lot of guys out, and he yields his fair share of home runs. Statistically, he’s really not any better than Manny Acosta has been for the Mets these past two seasons*. He just has more experience.

But what Coffey can boast that makes him so appealing is sport’s most thrilling inconsequential embellishment, no matter how awesome the Marlins’ new home-run thing will be (and I think it’ll be pretty awesome). When Coffey enters games, the bullpen doors open to the tune of the Ultimate Warrior’s entrance theme, and the red-bearded, barrel-chested Coffey sprints maniacally to the mound. It’s amazing.

Jose Reyes amazing? Oh hell no. But we’ve got to take what we can get at this point, no? Bring on Todd Coffey dammit.

*- This actually happens with surprising frequency: I look at some free-agent relief option and determine he’s not actually any better than Manny Acosta has been for the Mets over the past two seasons. I don’t know if this speaks poorly of the free-agent class of relievers or well of Acosta.

I was going to make the case that the Mets should pursue the former Leo Nunez/current Juan Oviedo if and when he’s non-tendered by the Marlins, but I was unable to convince myself that he’s a huge upgrade over Acosta. I guess it’s good to have several decent relievers regardless. Plus Acosta’s still operating in pretty small samples, and it’ll be interesting to see how his increasingly flyball-prone (and already gopher-friendly) game translates to the renovated Citi Field.

Also, signing a non-tendered Juan Oviedo might be too perfect an indication that the Mets and Marlins have switched places. The Marlins spend big and perhaps irresponsibly on high-priced free agents and the Mets take on their leftovers. MLB2K12.

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