Whoa.

Also, click over to Ceetar’s blog for the craft-beer stuff you’ll never get here.

The latter and it’s not even close. The Jets/Giants needling always just seems silly to me, since clearly the “New York” in their team names refers to the city, not the state, and East Rutherford is very much part of the New York City metropolitan area.

The Brooklyn thing is funny mostly because I’ve met a shocking number of people who actually live in Brooklyn and don’t even know that it’s true, and it’s just absolutely baffling to me that someone could ever move someplace without being able to locate it on a map. Plus I’ve got a lot of Long Island pride, in large part because I’m a troll and I know a lot of Long Island natives try to hide it or pretend they’re from someplace cooler. C’mon guys. There’s no place better for beaches and delis and good old-fashioned brodowns.

I don’t know; I’ve never really been a man of slight to medium build. Plus typically I don’t coordinate Halloween costumes with my wife or anyone, so I’ve never really tried thinking about funny group costumes besides the A-Team. Maybe your family could go as the A-Team, with the baby as B.A.?

I always just pick a different funny mustache man. I’ve been Burt Reynolds, Wilford Brimley and Magnum P.I. in the not-too-distant past. I really need a good skintight one-piece chessboard bodysuit so I can be Freddie Mercury already. Also, I should probably drop a few pounds first.

Have you considered being Kurt Cobain, Courtney Love and the naked swimming baby from the cover of the Nevermind album? Might be cold for the kid though, depending on where you live. Also, you need a swimming pool. Just brainstorming here.