Groundbreaking bird has terrible taste in music

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I phoned up the bird shelter in Indiana where Snowball lived and talked to the director who told me his story. A man had dropped him off with a CD and the comment, “Snowball likes to dance to this.” One day, Irena Schulz, the proprietor, played “Everybody” to amuse the abandoned creature. And Snowball began to move. Irena then made the YouTube video, which immediately went viral. Millions saw it.

“Let’s design an experiment to see if this is real,” I proposed to Irena, who had a science background herself. We took the Backstreet Boys song, sped it up and slowed it down at 11 different tempos, then videoed what Snowball did to each. For 9 out of the 11 variations, the bird moved to the beat, which meant that he’d processed the music in his brain and his muscles had responded. So now we had the first documented case of a nonhuman animal who, without training, could sense a beat out of music and move to it.

– Neuroscientist Aniruddh Patel, as told to the New York Times.

Now dance, bird!

From the Wikipedia: Tadeusz Kosciuszko

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I started this yesterday for Memorial Day but ended up spending most of the day in car dealerships trying to take advantage of some Memorial Day sales. From the Wikipedia: Tadeusz Kosciuszko.

In English, he is Thaddeus Kosciusko. In Lithuanian, he is called Tadas Kosciuška. In Belarusian, his name is Tadevush Kasciushka. On TedQuarters, he is known as a complete badass.

Kosciuszko was born to parents of modest nobility in the mid-18th century near the now-abandoned village of Mereczowszczyzna in the Grand Duchy of Lithuania. He was educated in Warsaw, and when civil war broke out in his homeland, he left for Paris to continue his studies. He returned to the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth in 1774 and took a position as a tutor for the family of a provincial governor. Kosciuszko fell in love with the governor’s daughter, Ludwika, but got jumped by her father’s goons when they tried to elope.

Jilted by forbidden love, Kosciuszko emigrated to the British colonies in North America to join the struggle for independence. He read the Declaration of Independence shortly after his arrival and was so impressed with the document that he went to discuss philosophy with Thomas Jefferson in Virginia, because apparently Thomas Jefferson was a pretty accessible dude.

Congress appointed Kosciuszko an engineer in the Continental Army, and he went about employing all sorts of battle and defense tactics that the Wikipedia explains in great detail. Kosciuszko was a smart guy, and was credited with choosing the Americans’ position at Saratoga and setting up an impregnable defense that helped the young nation win the battle widely considered the turning point of the war.

Kosciuszko continued to serve the Continental Army until the war’s end, and supposedly set off a fireworks display in Charleston to celebrate the signing of the Treaty of Paris, because Tadeusz Kosciuszko appreciated some good pyrotechnics. He was promoted to brigadier general and granted American citizenship shortly after the war, and given a tract of land in Ohio for his efforts in the revolution.

Kosciuszko didn’t remain in his new homeland for long, though. He soon returned to Europe to advocate for serfs’ rights and fight against the Russian occupation of his homeland. He emigrated again to the United States before the turn of the century, but once more returned to Europe to work for Polish independence.

Jefferson called Kosciuszko “as pure a son of liberty as I have ever known,” and indeed, Kosciuszko was apparently more dedicated to the ideals set forth in the Declaration of Independence than even Jefferson himself. Kosciuszko named Jefferson the executor of his will and left his American property to be used to buy the freedom of Jefferson’s slaves and pay for their education. For some reason not stated on the Wikipedia, Jefferson claimed he was unable to act as the executor, and none of the commodities that Kosciuszko earmarked for freeing and educating slaves were ever used for either purpose.

Kosciuszko’s name is familiar to Brooklyn-Queens Expressway riders because of the bridge in his honor linking, well, Brooklyn and Queens. I have long held that a roadway — especially in this area — is a terrible way to pay tribute to a hero of Kosciuszko’s stature, since the name will inevitably be cursed far more often then it is praised. No one ever says, “oh, what a touching tribute to Major Deegan.” And indeed, though the Kosciuszko Bridge offers perhaps the area’s most spectacular view of the Manhattan skyline, it is more often linked with perpetual traffic.

That’s unfortunate, because Tadeusz Kosciuszko was a great war hero and champion of social reform, an immigrant who made enormous contributions to the foundation of the United States, and a man who appropriately appreciated the awesomeness of fireworks.

Obligatory Ollie Perez post

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The Mets, incidentally, need someone in Perez’s spot who can not only be a pressure valve for the unholy workload Jerry Manuel is foisting upon his other relievers, but can be a reliable sixth starter. The good part about R.A. Dickey and Hisanori Takahashi succeeding early on is obvious, but the negative will become clear should the Mets have any additional pitcher injuries (or should Jon Niese fail to return this weekend, as expected)….

Show Oliver Perez the door. He’s making his $36 million either way. That’s a sunk cost. And he still might have some magic left in that arm. There’s simply no way to coax it out of him in the present circumstances.

– Howard Megdal, SNY.tv.

If Howard — who just might be Ollie Perez’s biggest fan — is calling for his head then it’s pretty clear Perez’s ship has left Queens. Only it hasn’t, of course. It remains docked pathetically in the bullpen, occasionally sputtering out to the mound when the Mets need a tug, then breaking down itself as soon as its put to work.

I don’t know that there’s a Mets fan out there who thinks Perez should still be on the team, so I’ll spare you the list of reasons he does not deserve a spot on the 25-man roster. Howard brings up sunk cost, though, and since the team’s inability to grasp that concept has been one of my favorite points of contention since my first days writing on the web, I figured I’d go over it again here.

Adam Rubin nailed it today, so you should probably check that out. Mike Lupica, on the other hand, wrote that it will cost the Mets $20 million to cut Perez.

This is mostly semantics, but that’s not really the case. It cost the Mets $36 million (committed over three years) to sign Perez before the 2009 season. Cutting him is almost free. All $36 million were as good as gone as soon as he inked the deal, so if the Mets think they can find a better player to fill his roster spot over the next season and a half, the money Perez is owed is immaterial. The only cost to the Mets is the salary of the replacement player on the roster, presumably the Major League minimum.

Mets fans and media love to point to the example of the Angels and Gary Matthews Jr. when discussing sunk cost, and it is a good one. But — semantics again — the wording often bothers me. I brought this up in my piece for the Amazin’ Avenue Annual:

When the Mets acquired Matthews from the Angels, his old team agreed to pay all but $2 million of the $23.5 million he is owed over the remaining two years of his contract. So the deal brought a fair share of Internet snark that suggested the Angels had paid $21.5 million for Brian Stokes, a marginal middle reliever.

But that’s not really what happened. Matthews, relegated to a backup role behind Torii Hunter in Anaheim, was more or less worthless to the Angels, even if they had committed to paying him $23.5 million more. Since that money was, in theory, gone — stricken from their coffers as soon as they ill-advisedly signed it away to Matthews — it’s probably more accurate to say they got $2 million of salary reliever from the Mets over the next two seasons, plus Brian Stokes, in exchange for Gary Matthews. And when you put it that way, the deal looks better for the Angels.

The Mets probably won’t find anyone to provide any relief for Ollie though. But since Ollie himself can’t provide any relief either, it’s time to let him go. If he succeeds elsewhere, he succeeds elsewhere. There is very little to suggest that will happen, and if by some strange chance it does, it will be downright silly to fault the Mets for assuming it wouldn’t.


Now I really want to see the KISS jerseys

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So, the Ports are staging a Salute to the Beatles Night on Saturday with a fireworks finale….

In truly hip style, the players will wear colorfully psychedelic, peace-and-love era uniform tops….

“We haven’t done the Beatles before,” said Elaine Jastineau of OT Sports, the Burlington, N.C., company where Adam McCauley designed the handcrafted double-knit jerseys. “We’ve done ‘Star Wars’ nights, Led Zeppelin, ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ and tuxedo tops when a couple got married at the ballpark. We just Google some album-cover stuff, throw it together on the jersey, sometimes tweak it a bit and go from there. To me, it looks very ’70s-ish. The clothes people wore back then had a lot of wild, patterned, flowered stuff.”

– Tony Sauro, Recordnet.com.

LSD not included, presumably. There’s a lot of good Minor League baseball-y stuff in that article so it’s probably worth checking out, but here’s what the jerseys look like if you don’t:

Yikes. Not sure if they’re planning on printing names on the top, but if I were a Stockton Port I’d definitely attempt to change my last name to “Mustard” for the day.

Hat tip to Baseball Think Factory for the link.

Hero deemed ‘revolting,’ ‘disgusting’ for enjoying pork

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This is everywhere today, but it’s not here yet:

I can say from experience that people will do some outrageous, bizarre things when they see a news camera. Believe me, I’ve been on both sides of the interaction.

Most of the times it’s plain jackassery from people who are way too excited at the prospect of getting on TV. We filmed a segment in Philadelphia in 2008 and had to shoot our wrap about 15 times because idiotic Phillies fans kept interrupting. It was annoying, mostly because no one did anything funny, they just harassed us and gave us the finger and such.

But eating a pork chop out of a reporter’s hand is funny. Not revolting or disgusting, funny. And Jones and Michael Kay only made it funnier by getting so broken up about it. “OH MY GOD!”

Apparently that guy was pestering Jones all game — which really makes you wonder why she’d keep doing standups from right in front of him — but there’s just nothing gross about an hour-old pork chop. Pork chops are delicious, and Kim Jones got what she deserved for waving it around in that guy’s face for so long.

Also, I’ve got to get to Target Field. Pork chop on a stick!

Angel Pagan: Still good

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No man but Carlos Beltran is Carlos Beltran, and there’s some chance Carlos Beltran is not a man at all. The jury is still out on if he’s superhuman.

But it is not reasonable to say, “oh, well, one center fielder who is not Carlos Beltran is the same as any other center fielder who is not Carlos Beltran,” which, by suggesting he’ll platoon switch-hitting Gary Matthews Jr. and switch-hitting Angel Pagan based on favorable matchups, is what Jerry Manuel is doing.

It has been three long years since Matthews posted a season as good as the one Pagan provided the Mets in 2009, and Matthews spent the final two of those toiling comfortably below the Major League replacement level. Perhaps there’s something to be said for a change of scenery, not to mention the switch to the easier league, but to think Matthews, at 35, could suddenly start again performing as well as Pagan did just last year on either side of the ball represents the type of logic that– oh, right. The Mets.

– Me, here, April 3.

My apologies for the back-patting but I want to make a point. I’m going to do this Harper’s Index style.

Games Gary Matthews Jr. has started in center field: 8
Mets’ record in those eight games: 2-6
Number of the six losses that were by one run: 3
Matthews’ line in the one-run losses he started in center: .111/.333/.222

There are obviously a lot of small samples in play in that data. And because Angel Pagan ultimately replaced Matthews in one of those games and Matthews has started games at other positions, it’s difficult to quantify what type of difference Pagan might have made if he started all those contests.

But it’s not unreasonable to guess that the Mets might have a win or two more already if they had just inserted Pagan into the starting lineup on Opening Day, as just about everyone besides Jerry Manuel (and presumably Omar Minaya) was certain they should.

Because Angel Pagan is good. Better than Matthews even. By Fangraphs.com‘s WAR, Pagan has been the fifth-best player in the National League this season. By baseball-reference.com‘s version of the same stat, he’s third.

Pagan leads all center fielders in UZR in a season highlighted by several spectacular diving grabs. On offense, he has maintained a very similar level of production to his impressive 2009 campaign. And all over the field, he has avoided the type of mental mistakes that earned him the vitriol of a large fraction of Mets fans and media last season.

And according to Cot’s MLB Contracts, Pagan is arbitration-eligible and under the Mets’ control through the 2012 season. That’s excellent news.

The young outfielder has been plagued by a series of random and unfortunate injuries in his career, but Mets fans clamoring for the team to enter a bidding war for Carl Crawford next offseason should probably bite their tongues. Pagan and Crawford both play great defense and are nearly exactly the same age. Crawford’s having a great season, but his career line is .296/.336/.440. Pagan’s is .283/.337/.440.

Crawford steals a lot more bases and has been good for way longer, so he’s a more valuable commodity than Pagan. But Pagan has developed into a remarkably similar player, and granted health, the difference between the two in on-field production won’t come close to matching the difference in their salaries.

So in conclusion, Angel Pagan is better than Gary Matthews Jr. Hooray.

Taylor Tankersley shows Jayson Werth a thing or two about tasteful facial hair

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The Marlins recalled the 27-year-old left-hander from Triple-A New Orleans on Thursday, and he was in a big league uniform for the first time since July 2008.

A change from then to now is his handlebar mustache. The Marlins have a facial hair policy. Goatees and ‘staches are allowed, if they are well groomed.

– Joe Frisaro, MLB.com.

Kudos to the Marlins for having a facial-hair policy that recognizes greatness. Also, if their facial hair policy allows goatees and mustaches, what’s out of the question? Ungroomed (and disgusting) Ryan Franklin numbers? Classic Casey Blake beards?

Anyway, here’s the new and improved Taylor Tankersley. Now he’s “that reliever with the awesome handlebar mustache” and not just “that guy whose last name kind of sounds like Eckersley” anymore. I don’t know if he really has the face for this type of mustache, but respect the man for trying:

Is it me, or are the sunrays brighter and the subways cleaner this morning?

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So the Mets have won five straight from the Yankees and the Phillies. They shut out the Phillies for three full games, something they haven’t done since 1969 and something that has only happened six times in the last 20 years.

My baseball-fueled mood swings are pathetic. When the Mets win like this, everything improves. Food tastes better, body aches subside, and the Metro North train from Westchester appears swamped with gorgeous women eager to smile at me. I recognize that it’s all in my mind, but I can’t separate the authentic from the surreal and awesome. I am the Crown Prince of Utopia: The Mets just shut out the Phillies — the big, bad, stupid Phillies — for 27 straight innings.

Last night, when SNY’s cameras caught Johan Santana and Hisanori Takahashi holding baseballs and discussing their craft, I almost choked up a little. It’s the type of thing I’d ignore or just shrug at if the Mets were losing but when they’re going like this, it’s devastatingly beautiful: Here’s a guy from the mountains of Venezuela and a guy from Tokyo sitting in a dugout in New York communicating fluently, sharing knowledge. That’s amazing.

But despite all that and no matter how spectacular the Mets have looked this past week, we must remember to temper our enthusiasm or we’ll drive ourselves batty. This is still a team with big holes in its lineup and question marks in the back of its rotation. Sure, Takahashi and R.A. Dickey showed this week that they’re at least capable of pitching in ways that John Maine and Oliver Perez apparently are not, but neither is a known quantity. Upgrades for certain, but certainly not certain things.

And the Phillies are not as bad as they looked this week. (That might not be possible.) The Phillies still feature mostly the same lineup that steamrolled the N.L. East and they’re still in first place. They’ve got some question marks in their rotation and bullpen too, but what happened these last three games is more likely a reflection of randomness than the Phillies falling apart. Too many of their best hitters hit a rough stretch at the same time, they matched up with a hot team, and they embarrassed themselves. These things happen in baseball. Not often to these extremes, but they happen.

The Mets will allow some runs again, and they’ll lose a few more games too. Probably Jerry Manuel’s seat will heat up again and there’ll be more closed-door meetings and front-office votes of confidence and all that nonsense. Things will not always be this great.

But for now, I’m content to pretend they will be. Let’s look at the damn bright side for once. The Mets just shut out the Phillies for three straight games. There’s fortune involved, like there always is in baseball. But the lingering thrill is real. Suck it down, Philadelphia. And way to destroy your awesome beard, Jayson Werth.