Man testifying against Roger Clemens somehow sleazier than Roger Clemens

Nearly three years after he began cooperating with Jeff Novitzky’s federal probe of steroids in baseball, Brian McNamee testified before the grand jury investigating McNamee’s former client, Roger Clemens, for perjury.

McNamee, his hair long and his necktie emblazoned with the logo of a friend’s nutritional supplement company, arrived at the E. Barrett Prettyman federal courthouse flanked by his New York attorneys, Richard Emery and Earl Ward.

Teri Thompson and Nate Vinton, N.Y. Daily News.

That’s right, folks, you can now buy ad space on Brian McNamee’s tie. Look:

OK, first off: Kudos to McNamee, I guess, for coming up with a genius new money-making scheme, now that the steroids business is all dried up.

But who at the supplement company thought it would be a good idea to associate the business with a guy who is in court to detail how he distributed illegal substances? I mean, I know in some communities selling steroids is a pretty righteous thing to do, and if you talk to the right weightlifter he’ll chew your ear off about how they’re not really that dangerous if you use them right and all that, and then for some reason get really, really angry when you insinuate that he might have small testicles.

Still, shouldn’t a supplement company selling legal products want to go out of its way to distinguish them from the illicit ones? I guess McNamee is friends with ANC’s owner, and clearly this was a good way to get his brand plastered all over the AP photo wire. Maybe all press is good press in the supplement industry. I just don’t think I want to buy anything Brian McNamee’s selling. Certainly not while he’s rocking that mullet.

I must have that

Huge hat tip to @RobertJamis for pointing me to this N.Y. Post article about the city’s most gluttonous foods. Check out this sucker:

Why, as a matter of fact, yes that is macaroni and cheese on a hot dog. This, from a place called Ditch Plains in the West Village, is the clear highlight of the Post piece. Sure, the poutine mentioned appears delicious, but the Ditch Dog breaks new ground. A delicious, cheesy trailblazer.

Former roommate Mike, a fellow food innovator, has been known to put casserole-style mac and cheese on a roll and call it Smackaroni. I convinced him to try putting ham on his creation, but I think the Ditch Dog — replacing the seeded deli roll with a hot-dog bun — might present a slightly less absurd starch:meat ratio. You know, for the Atkins set.

Because it’s baseball and, apparently, wedding season, I’m not sure I’ll have much opportunity to get down the West Village before the stand opens up in Brooklyn. I will certainly have the opportunity to get to that stand in Brooklyn once it opens in late June, though, and I will, of course, report back here.

The Super Bowl shuffle

The Super Bowl is the signature event on the NFL’s calendar and on the annual sports calendar, period. It is in the NFL’s best interest that it go smoothly — in fact, that it go brilliantly, and look perfect and spectacular to the world.

For that reason, I can’t fathom why the NFL would ever want to have it in a cold weather city in February. Made no sense to me to have it in Detroit or Minneapolis when they had it there. Makes no sense to me that it’ll be in Indianapolis in 2012. The week leading up to the game is at least as big now, if not bigger, than the game itself. You can argue all day about whether that should be true, but you can’t dispute that it is. People come from all over the world to spend the week being at the Super Bowl. If it’s snowy, icy, windy and cold — which it could very well be in the first week of February 2014 in New York and New Jersey — it’s going to be a far more miserable experience for the NFL’s thousands of guests than it needs to be.

All they’ve done by adding a dome-free stadium to the mix is add game day to the list of potential concerns. You can talk all you like about how the NFL and the community would do everything it can do to overcome the worst-case weather scenario should it happen, but my question is why would the NFL want to risk putting itself in position to have to do that. Why add that risk when you don’t need to? Why mess with something that works?

Dan Graziano, SNY.tv.

Dan makes a couple of points here I hadn’t considered, especially about the week leading up to the game, not to mention the “ain’t-broke-don’t-fix-it” approach.

But I’m all for bringing the Super Bowl to New York (well, New Jersey). The Super Bowl is a spectacle most awesome. The week leading up to it is part of that spectacle. And this is a spectacular place, with the bright lights and the immense buildings and all that.

Yeah, the weather could be bad. It could also be good. And it’s football. Football teams prepare to play outdoor games in December in Buffalo and Green Bay and Foxboro.

If the weather means Peyton Manning (or the next Peyton Manning or whoever) can’t pass so well that day, who cares? That’s football. The Colts should have a plan in place for that, and it’s not fair to all the other teams in the league if high-flying offensive teams like the Colts can be assured of a picture-perfect day every year should they advance to the Super Bowl. That doesn’t accurately reflect the NFL regular season or playoffs. Mother Nature factors in football games, so she might as well factor in the biggest football game.

If lousy weather washes out all the events of the week before? Whatever. I, for one, won’t miss that stuff. Plus, I’m pretty confident the NFL will, by 2014, have figured out some method to broadcast its patented brand of nonsense regardless of the weather at media events.

Maybe due to the weather, some visitors will have less fun in Super Bowl Village, or Football-land or whatever they call the area immediately surrounding the event. But they’ll be right in the shadow of the cultural battery of Planet Earth. Go see a play or something. There’s got to be decent live music somewhere. Spread those tourist dollars around.

And while it’s true that the Super Bowl works out just fine every year in warm weather cities, the counter to that argument is simple: You can’t fail if you never try. Maybe bringing the event to New York will turn out to be a miserable decision, and the NFL will somehow lose money for the first time in forever, and the people will rise up and demand every Super Bowl be played in Florida for the rest of time. Or maybe we’ll see a cold-weather classic, a beautifully rendered 6-3 gem full of smart defense and bone-rattling hits, a game that ushers in a new era of casual football fans appreciating the game beyond what factors into their fantasy leagues.

We don’t know yet. But we can rest assured that whatever comes will be entertaining, and probably pretty spectacular to see, whether New Jersey’s first Super Bowl succeeds or fails.

All-Star Fail

Look: I usually don’t get too broken up over All-Star voting. The massive bulk of voting fans tend to be poorly informed, so the outcome becomes more of a pageant for the most famous baseball players than a contest between the very best players in each league.

And I hardly aspire to speak for Mets fans, or, worse yet, tell them what to do. The views here reflect the thoughts of only one Mets fan — me, this guy — and I’ve never been much for groupthink or rah-rahism or any of that stuff.

But I think it’s safe to say, today, that we all need to get up out of our seats right now, walk over to the nearest mirror, and take a long look at ourselves. Placido Polanco is leading NL third basemen in All-Star voting. Placido Polanco.

It’s infuriating enough that five Phillies lead their positions after the first ballot count, and frustrating just to imagine all the drunk, filthy Philadelphians taking time away from vomiting on little girls, hands shaky from all the Tasering, punching in the holes next to every single Phillie on the ballot.

And then, insult to injury, to know they’re actually succeeding in their depraved mission? No. I won’t stand for it.

Placido Polanco’s OPS, even playing half his games in that ridiculous ballpark, is nearly 100 points lower than David Wright’s. Sure, he may play slightly better defense, and Wright’s certainly not having his best year, but holy crap, people. This is David Wright. Handsome golden boy face of the franchise. And we root for a New York team; we’re supposed to be the ones who overvalue our stars and send undeserving players to the All-Star game.

Pathetic. Just pathetic.

Did you know that Wright, despite all the fuss about his struggles, is still tied for first in WAR (per baseball-reference) among NL third basemen with Ryan Zimmerman? It’s true. After them on the list come David Freese, Jorge Cantu, Casey McGehee, Scott Rolen, Chase Headley, Chipper Jones, Casey Blake, Mark Reynolds and Ian Stewart. And then, 12th among NL third basemen, is Placido Polanco.

Congratulations, bro. You’re playing better than Pedro Feliz and Andy LaRoche. You know what that says to me? All-Star.

I voted for Wright five times this morning. Took me all of ten minutes, tops. Gotta support the team, like David Puddy might say.

I also wrote in Angel Pagan a bunch of times, because somehow, in 2010, Major League Baseball still hasn’t managed to get the names of all the guys who are actually playing on the ballot. I know that’s the way it’s always been, and I recognize that it probably takes a lot of time to print and distribute those things to every stadium, but c’mon. Just, c’mon.

Oh, and I voted for Carlos Beltran on every ballot, just because.

On Castillo and Murphy

While watching the Subway Series tilt with my wife Friday night, she pointed out that I almost never mention Luis Castillo here. And indeed, since Opening Day I’ve only mentioned Castillo in passing, and usually only when detailing a specific game situation he was part of or when listing his defensive struggles among the Mets’ various problems.

In the waning days of the preseason, I half-joked that Castillo was my favorite player in baseball, for a variety of reasons. That’s not why I’ve laid off him here, though, even as he has struggled to do that one thing he still might do well — get on base.

Maybe that’s part of the reason I lay off Castillo. Plus, he became such a frequent target of Mets-fan vitriol that I think he may have actually become vaguely underrated at some point in the last couple years. He’s not like Jeff Francoeur or someone; no Mets fan believes Luis Castillo is a great player enduring a rough stretch. And far too many blame Castillo for his contract, which isn’t really his fault. I feel no need to pile on.

Plus, there’s something inspiring about watching Castillo persevere with his limited skill set and nagging injuries. Watch him walk around the dugout or the clubhouse, or even off the field on an out, and he’s hobbling. I’ve never been Luis Castillo so I can’t know how much pain he’s enduring, but there’s no doubt from his halting limp that he aches in all sorts of awful ways. And yet he’s out there every time he can be, slapping at strikes and lunging awkwardly at grounders. It’s damn near Sisysphean.

But Castillo’s apparently hurting now, even more than he usually is. And every game he misses is another game closer to Alex Cora’s vesting option doing just that.

So with Daniel Murphy now optioned to Triple-A, the Mets need to revisit the idea of shifting their former first baseman one spot to the left, and pronto. Murphy probably won’t ever be a good defensive second baseman, for sure. But he took to a new position last year with surprising aplomb, and demonstrated enough range in the infield that it’s reasonable to expect he could be nearly as good as Castillo out there in short order.

He won’t turn the double play like Castillo or position himself as well or do any of the myriad little things the veteran has picked up in his 1642 games as a Major League second baseman. But if Murph can just cover some ground on the right side of the infield, it’s not hard to imagine he’ll be a more valuable player than Castillo if he can produce something reasonable offensively.

That’s another matter entirely, as Murphy didn’t exactly inspire a lot of confidence with his bat in 2009. But he’s young yet and likely improving, and, again, it’s not like anyone’s asking him to replace Joe Morgan.

At the very least, trying Murphy at second — if it’s even a little bit successful — enhances his trade value and buys the team time while middle infield prospects like Ruben Tejada and Reese Havens develop. With the Triple-A Bisons overwhelmed with corner players as it is, Murphy should get every opportunity to show he can handle second.

Of course, the Mets picked up second baseman Justin Turner off waivers from the Orioles today and assigned him to Buffalo. So, really, who knows what the plans are for Murph? If the Mets see him as a possible Mark DeRosa-type super sub, though — as Jerry Manuel suggested this offseason — they should get about teaching him how to do that.

In case you want to feel terrible

Brien Taylor is 34 now, and he lives at the end of the road named for him, with his parents, Willie Ray and Bettie. The trailer he was raised in has been replaced with a two-story brick and frame home, the House that Brien Built with the record $1.55 million bonus he got from the Yankees. He also bought a black Mustang 5.0 back then, a car that is still on the road. Otherwise, evidence of his long-ago windfall is in scant supply on Brien Taylor Lane, where the cab of a tractor-trailer is sunk into marsh grass and vines, and the yard is strewn with old cars and a heap of rusted lawnmowers.

Wayne Coffey, N.Y. Daily News, via LJWorld.com.

I can’t remember now why Brien Taylor came up in a conversation on Sunday, but it led me to his Wikipedia page, which led me to Wayne Coffey’s 2006 feature on the Yanks’ No. 1 pick from the 1991 draft.

If you’re interested in being depressed, read the whole story. Sounds like Taylor was at peace with all that happened to him as of 2006, at least.

Taylor’s baseball-reference page on its own is pretty tragic. He dominated High A ball at 20, then was very good, albeit wild, in Double-A at 21. Then, after he tore up his arm in the fight Coffey details, he was about as bad as a pitcher can be.

Culture Jammin’: Fool in the Rain

Alex Belth mentioned the late-period Zeppelin song “Fool in the Rain” in one of his Subway Series live blogs, and wrote how all the girls in his high school loved it. Same with the girls in my high school, and a lot of the guys, too.

And who could blame them? It’s a catchy song, and about as accessible as anything Zeppelin put out. I happen to enjoy John Bonham’s work on the track — not his flashiest performance by a longshot, but a great example of some truly musical drumming. Plus the samba breakdown is neat, and Jimmy Page’s solo features perhaps the best use of an octave pedal in a guitar solo.

After I read Alex’s post I thought about the song and I realized something: The ironic twist in the lyrics at the end of the song must make so little sense to the high-school kids of today.

If you’re unfamiliar, the singer describes his love for someone. He’s standing on the corner in the rain, waiting to meet the lover in question, and growing frustrated and depressed as he waits. Then, in a straight O. Henry ending, he realizes he’s standing on the wrong block.

No one waits for anyone on corners anymore. Today, Robert Plant could just text the person to say he went into a local bar to wait out the storm. Crisis averted, silly rock-god hair dry, running in rain unnecessary.

So I wonder if the song resonates the same way for a generation of people who have never had to wait out on a corner to meet a date. I’ve actually done that, a bunch of times. Today’s high-school and college-aged kids never have. Certainly they can still appreciate a good song with a catchy riff, but I wonder if “Fool in the Rain” seems obsolete to them, some ancient relic.

People my age and older tend to bristle when we hear of newish songs including references to email or texts or cell phones or whatever. It feels like modern technologies should have no place in the rock and roll lexicon, probably at least partly because so many contemporary rock bands essentially imitate their forebears and stunt the development of the entire genre.

That’s stupid, though. Love songs (obviously) have always and will always detail relationships, so if today’s relationships feature a bunch of devices Robert Plant never had access to in his heyday, there’s no reason today’s young Robert Plants should avoid mentioning them in songs. Today’s fool in the rain just forget to charge his phone before he left the house.

Niemo bearing brunt of bullpen’s frustration

“So I got up in the eighth and after Feliciano got Cano I sat back down, and they told me in case something else happened and someone gets on base, I will be in there.”

Asked if it was difficult to do that, to keep warming up, Rodriguez said it was a matter of being smart.

“You have to save your bullets and not waste them back there and throw too much,” he said.

But sure enough, in the top of the ninth, Rodriguez was quickly warming up again after another reliever, Ryota Igarashi, gave up a walk and two hits. In came Rodriguez to get the final two outs, although it was not easy. Derek Jeter doubled, and after a groundout, Mark Teixeira reached on an infield single.

David Waldstein, N.Y. Times.

When I saw this story on the back page of the Daily News this morning, I figured it was just a slow news day and the News was mucking up a fuss for lack of anything else to print.

But the News’ story didn’t include the above details and didn’t mention that the spat between Frankie Rodriguez and bullpen coach Randy Niemann stemmed from a dispute over how the reliever has been used.

This is nothing new: Jerry Manuel’s quick hook severely taxes the arms in his bullpen, and his apparent insistence that every reliever warm up at some point in every game must get frustrating for a crew of already-overworked men. Relievers hate warming up without pitching — they call it “dry-humping” — and the decision to get them throwing represents one of the real, impactful managerial moves that are never represented in the box score.

Sure, it may look like Fernando Nieve sometimes goes a couple of games without pitching, but scour tapes of those games and you’ll note that Nieve is almost perpetually warming up in the bullpen. K-Rod reportedly threw 100 pitches in the bullpen before he entered the Mets’ 20-inning win over the Cardinals. I can’t say for certain, but I’d guess that’s the type of thing that will make you want to fight the bullpen coach.

The Daily News mentioned Rodriguez’s history of spats with Tony Bernazard and Brian Bruney, but this story shouldn’t be about the fiery closer. It should be about Manuel’s myopic bullpen management, and it’s unfortunate that Niemo should have to bear the brunt. I don’t know all the mechanics behind the decision to warm a guy up, but I’ve got a feeling the fault here falls on the man making the call, not the one receiving it.

Fogerty wha?

Andre Dawson played center field, John Fogerty sang “Centerfield,” and in an unusual twist, both will be honored at the baseball Hall of Fame induction ceremony July 25….

Noting he was born in California before baseball expanded west, Fogerty said his first team was the Yankees, but that he now roots for the Oakland A’s. His recording of “Centerfield” has been played at the Cooperstown induction for more than a decade.

David Hinckley, N.Y. Daily News.

Well that’s cool, I suppose. Granted, “Centerfield” is a pretty cheesy tune, and I could probably name a few… wait a minute, CALIFORNIA!? Fogerty, no! I can’t believe I’ve been misled all this time.