And that was already done

The Internet rules. Turns out last week Bill Parker did the research I wanted earlier, contextualizing that Jamie Moyer stat, and it’s awesome. Greg Maddux is the all-time leader in the figure. Moyer is third behind Maddux and Tom Glavine, so turns out the switching leagues thing didn’t mean as much as I thought it would.

Parker didn’t calculate the stat for Randy Johnson, but using his method I counted Johnson as having faced 1,367 of the 15,855 hitters in Major League history, some 40 shy of Moyer and good for 8.6% (Moyer has actually faced 8.9%).

Via @Ceetar.

Taste the cautious optimism

Doubters to the left: The Arrested Development reunion took another step toward reality on Tuesday when creator Mitch Hurwitz and several members of the cast appeared onstage together at a Netflix-sponsored event in Las Vegas. Speaking on the floor of the National Association of Broadcasters convention, Netflix chief Ted Sarandos confirmed that all ten episodes of Arrested’s long-awaited fourth season will premiere together on a single day sometime next year. Hurwitz also confirmed that production is set to begin this summer, but he also dropped a new nugget of information about what form the Arrested revival will take….

Hurwitz and the cast made no mention onstage of the rumored Arrested Development movie that’s been expected to follow the TV revival. He did, however, say he’d very much be open to a season five or six on Netflix. “We would love this to be the first first of many visits,” Hurwitz said. He also confirmed that Showtime, currently run by former Arrested exec producer David Nevins, had been in serious talks to acquire the show, but that ultimately Netflix offered a more interesting business model, as well as a base of already-loyal Arrested viewers.

Josef Adalian, Vulture.

Three things I really hope:

1) This actually happens.

2) It lives up to the show’s original run, which will be almost impossible since the show’s original run was just about perfect.

3) Showtime presented Hurwitz and his crew with a well-conceived and properly researched business model, then Netflix came in and won them over with a magic trick and a human model.

In case you haven’t heard: Jamie Moyer is incredibly old

Real facts about 49-year-old Jamie Moyer have overtaken fake facts about Chuck Norris as the Internet’s darling, but this one is particularly awesome.

Still, it’d be cool to see it contextualized. Is that the record? What pitcher has faced the highest percentage of all hitters in Major League history? It’d seem to favor guys with long careers in the contemporary baseball era, since there are more teams now and thus more hitters to face, plus more guys switching leagues more frequently and Interleague Play.

Per the baseball-reference play index, only Javier Vazquez and Livan Hernandez have thrown more innings than Moyer since Interleague Play started in 1997, but Moyer got a 10-year jump on both of them so it’s pretty safe to say he faced more hitters. Greg Maddux started in 1986, like Moyer did, and finished with nearly 1000 more innings pitched than Moyer has thrown to date. But Maddux pitched his whole career in the National League, which probably hurts him.

The only candidates who could rival Moyer in percentage of all-time Major League hitters faced are probably Randy Johnson and Roger Clemens, both of whom started in the late 80s, lasted through the late aughts, threw more total innings than Moyer has so far, and spent time in both leagues. Johnson pitched about an even number of innings in the NL and the AL, so he he seems most likely of all. But then obviously his career didn’t span the length that Moyer’s has.

Anyone I’m missing? I’m assuming the sheer difference in innings means longtime relievers like Darren Oliver and Arthur Rhodes can’t come close to Moyer or the other starters. But if anyone knows a better way to figure this out, I’m all ears.

Also, the one Jamie Moyer old-man stat I can’t get past is this one: Moyer made three starts against the 1986 Mets. He went 1-0 with a 3.74 ERA in 21 2/3 innings.

Supreme Court Justice breaks from mind-numbing legalese to take misguided cheap shot at Mets

Truth be told, the answer to the general question “What does ‘not an’ mean?” is “It depends”: The meaning of the phrase turns on its context. . . . “Not an” sometimes means “not any,” in the way Novo claims. If your spouse tells you he is late because he “did not take a cab,” you will infer that he took no cab at all (but took the bus instead). If your child admits that she “did not read a book all summer,” you will surmise that she did not read any book (but went to the movies a lot). And if a sports-fan friend bemoans that “the New York Mets do not have a chance of winning the World Series,” you will gather that the team has no chance whatsoever (because they have no hitting). But now stop a moment. Suppose your spouse tells you that he got lost because he “did not make a turn.” You would understand that he failed to make a particular turn, not that he drove from the outset in a straight line. Suppose your child explains her mediocre grade on a college exam by saying that she “did not read an assigned text.” You would infer that she failed to read a specific book, not that she read nothing at all on the syllabus. And suppose a lawyer friend laments that in her last trial, she “did not prove an element of the offense.” You would grasp that she is speaking not of all the elements, but of a particular one. The examples could go on and on, but the point is simple enough: When it comes to the meaning of “not an,” context matters.

Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan, Caraco Pharm. Labs. Ltd. v. Novo Nordisk.

OK, first of all this is like the dumbest f@#$ing thing I have ever read. And I get that half of you are lawyers and there’s probably some legal reason why the distinctions in possible implied meanings of “not an” needs to be detailed in such thorough fashion, but c’mon. This case really made it to the Supreme Court without anyone hashing that out? There’s no legal precedent she can cite that covers how sometimes “not an” means not any and sometimes it means not one specific thing? This is what Supreme Court Justices do?

Second, after she gives two perfectly apt examples of what she’s talking about, she throws in a totally unnecessary joke about the Mets. And I’m all for lightening the mood at Supreme Court proceedings, but, again: c’mon. Stale, and too easy. Jokes about the Mets for people who can’t make lawyer jokes are like lawyer jokes for everyone else.

Moreover, Kagan’s a Mets fan, so you’d hope she’d have a little better sense of what she was talking about. DOES THE SUPREME COURT NOT CARE ABOUT ACCURACY ANYMORE? Hitting is the one thing the Mets do have!

If she said “the team has no chance whatsoever (because they [sic] have first basemen at four positions, shaky starting pitching and play in a tough division),” then she’d get a pass, a frustrated but reasonable fan airing her grievances wherever she finds a platform. But no. Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan thinks the Mets can’t hit even though the Mets can hit. And I’m just going to go ahead and assume she retires to her quarters to call WFAN to demand the Mets trade David Wright.

Let’s hope The People vs. Carlos Beltran never goes to the highest federal court because I suspect Kagan’s going to rule on the wrong side of that one.

Via Bill.

A glimmer of hope

From Ryan via Ezra Klein comes and IBIS World report of the 10 fastest-growing industries in the United States. Some make sense, some are kind of silly, others are kind of depressing, one of them both speaks well and bodes well for all of us:

McIlhenny, you may know, is the Major Industry Player responsible for Tabasco products. Reckitt Benckiser, it turns out, is responsible for a bunch of household cleaning products, French’s mustard and — relevant here — Frank’s Red Hot.

The report suggests the hot sauce industry “has heated up” due to:

demographic consumption trends, immigration and international demand from Canada, the United Kingdom and Japan. As Americans’ palates have become more diverse, hot sauce has earned tenure on the dinner table. Demand from supermarkets and grocery stores has reflected the change in consumer taste, and food retailers are dedicating more shelf space to ethnic cuisine…. Hot sauce production isn’t expected to burn out any time soon.

Good case for serial commas in that excerpt. The way it is, it sounds like the increase in hot sauce consumption is in part due to a bunch of Canadian, British and Japanese people moving here and enjoying tons of hot sauce. And hey, maybe that happens. Who could blame them really?

I, for one, would welcome an economy based on hot sauce and self-tanner. Everything and everybody would have a delightful orange hue. And our stomachs will be strong inside and out, from all the spicy food and pilates. Maybe the future doesn’t suck so hard after all.

For what it’s worth, I’m currently keeping four hot sauces at TedQuarters: Frank’s, sriracha, Cholula, and the one I made myself. Also, I found it way easier to mention my love of Cholula on this site before they became an SNY sponsor, but it really is good.

 

Mets to infuriate fanbase with tribute to once-loved player

The Mets are apparently planning a video tribute to Jose Reyes upon his return to Citi Field on April 24, and people aren’t happy about it.

Personally, I’m finding it difficult to get too worked up one way or the other. Maybe it’s because the Mets are 7-3 and Ruben Tejada’s leading the league in doubles. Maybe it’s because I try not to get too upset over frivolities.

I get that it’s weird to pay tribute to a guy who just skipped town to take more money to play for a rival, but at the same time I’d way rather watch video highlights from Reyes’ time with the Mets than whatever else they’re showing on the video board, entertaining though the 800-Flowers Kiss Cam may be. You guys remember that Jose Reyes was awesome at baseball for the Mets, right?

[poll id=”105″]

 

What if the Mets are good?

Ten games into the 2012 campaign, the Mets are 7-3. It’s the time of the season when tiny samples drive our irrational baseball-fan minds to crazy and wonderful places, no matter how often we remind ourselves that many ultimately crappy teams have started better or that 10 games into 2010 Jeff Francoeur had a .535 on-base percentage. And the backlash to the small-sample frenzy — in which I frequently participate — is often so obnoxious and vigorous that it seems unnecessarily grouchy at a time when many fans just want to enjoy their fantasies while they last.

So let’s look at it this way: These 7-3 Mets are the same team that entered the season to low expectations, sure, but those seven wins are banked. The gambler’s fallacy would suggest that the Mets are now more likely to endure a rough stretch after starting the season hot, but rolling three sixes in row doesn’t make the fourth any less likely.

Which is to say that if the Mets perform exactly like the 74.5-win team foreseen by Vegas from here on out — that is, they play to a .460 winning percentage starting now — they win 70 of their remaining 152 games (actually 69.9, but I’m rounding up) and finish the season 77-85. So still not great, but hey, the over.

If the Mets can just muster .500 ball for the rest of the season — you can probably do this math yourself — they finish 83-79 and stay on the fringes of contention until late in the year, and a lot of breathless haters full of authoritative preseason predictions have a lot of explaining to do.

And if these 2012 Mets can somehow manage just one more 7-3 stretch like this one at any point in the season while playing precisely .500 ball for the rest of it, they’re an 85-win team — good enough for postseason play in two of the past 10 seasons in the National League if the new two-Wild Card system were in place.

Maybe that’s a small payoff for what still seems something of a longshot, but then the on-the-field part of the Mets’ early success and our first exposure to their feared division rivals help it seem at least conceivable.

This is where our imaginations run wild: With the Phillies relying on old, injured players and burying their prospects behind veterans like a vintage late-aughts Mets team and the Braves and Nats peppering their offenses with out-machines, the Mets’ lineup appears to rival the Marlins’ for the division’s deepest. The Mets’ defense doesn’t look great, with some lousy defenders and some guys out of position, but the Marlins and Nationals have some lousy defenders and some guys out of position, too. And the Braves have Chipper Jones, Dan Uggla and Freddie Freeman starting in the same infield. (The Phillies’ defense is good.)

The Phillies clearly have the division’s best pitching staff. The Mets… well, they don’t. But they have a constitution some of their competitors lack, with two starters that seem safe bets to throw around 200 innings, two that have stayed mostly healthy for the past two years, one that is Johan Santana, and a nice blend of ceilings and floors at the high levels of their Minor League system.

That’s squinting at the 7-3 team and seeing the best, of course. And it’s the inevitable fallout of a hot start: What once seemed very unlikely now seems just unlikely.

And naturally, it’s that pesky way small fragments of seasons can mess with our heads. All of this could fall apart at any time.

But every day David Wright keeps hitting provides more evidence he could enjoy a rebound season, every double Ruben Tejada lashes in the gap suggests he’ll hit more of them, every game Kirk Nieuwenhuis plays like a Major Leaguer makes it more likely he is one, and every Santana start without incident means another.

It’s 10 games, less than 1/16th of the season, and precious little evidence with which to make any bold declarations about the rest of the Mets’ 2012 season. But little evidence is evidence nonetheless, and most of what we have so far is good.

So that’s cool.

 

Here’s what Taco Bell CEO Greg Creed’s business card looks like

Via Twitterer @HungryGrimace:

 

If there were ever a business card that could bring me to a Patrick Bateman-esque jealous sweat, it’s this one.

The “G’day!” is presumably because Creed is Australian.

“Sometimes hot, always purple” is a bit more perplexing. I guess he’s always purple because purple is one of the Taco Bell colors, so it’s like saying he bleeds Dodger Blue? But if he has unlimited access to Taco Bell, then no matter what he looks like I’m going to say he’s always hot.

Also, it’d be sweet to have an address on Glen Bell Way. This would require either living inside Taco Bell Headquarters — which would be fine — or convincing them to let you build a tiny house on the little roundabout entrance in front of their headquarters that constitutes Glen Bell Way.