People fail to appreciate Bill Murray, proving my old theory that people are stupid ingrates

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There was the once famous and formerly funny comedian, Bill Murray, serving up his usual tiresome brand of shtick, running around the bases like a hyperactive kid and throwing out the ceremonial first pitch like an old woman. He would later bellow out a loutish version of Take Me Out To The Ballgame during the always excruciating 7th inning stretch before joining TV broadcasters Len Kasper and Bob Brenly for some uninspired banter that lasted into the 8th inning.

– Some guy who is not Bill Murray, via Chicagoist.

My uncle used to get awesome seats at Shea right next to the visiting team’s comp section, about 10 rows up between home plate and the visitor’s dugout in the Field Level — the orange seats. One time I sat right next to Bill Murray for a Mets-Cubs game. I actually know the date: April 15, 1998. I’ll tell you why in a second.

At that game, some drunken moron a few rows in front of me spent the entire time loudly harassing every Cub that came on-deck. It might have been funny if he were, but mostly it was just grating and awful. For whatever reason, he took particular interest in two Cubs: Mickey Morandini (to whom he sung the “Mickey Mouse Club” theme multiple times) and Sammy Sosa (or, in his words, “Sammy So-So”).

I realized Murray was next to us a couple innings in, but he was enjoying the game and I didn’t want to bother him. Still, seeing as he was a hero of mine, around the third inning I worked up the courage to ask him for an autograph for my friend Cara.

“Mr. Murray,” I said. “I’m really sorry to bother you, but my friend Cara has seen What About Bob? at least 100 times. Is there anyway I can have your autograph for her?”

“Is she… OK?” he asked. He signed: “To Cara: Be careful! Bill Murray.”

At one point, while the drunk guy was standing on his seats trying to get the entire section to chant “Sammy So-So,” he noticed Murray. He called everyone’s attention to the former Ghostbuster, then, when Bill Murray did the ol’ pretend-to-scratch-my-face-but-give-the-guy-the-finger thing, the guy yelled out, “Ladies and gentlemen, Bill Murray is giving me the finger!”

That guy sucked. Bill Murray rules.

Oh, and Sammy Sosa hit a home run that game, his third of 66 that season.

Wait so they won’t even need Bruce Willis?

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The killer asteroid–the one that we might never even see coming–could end life on this planet and there would be nothing humans could do about it. It creates a kind of helplessness that’s difficult to even think about, and it’s Robert Weaver’s job to think about it all the time.

Weaver, a scientist at Los Alamos National Laboratory (LANL), doesn’t hunt for killer asteroids, but he does study the ways humans might use their vast nuclear arsenals–designed to wipe each other off the face of the planet–to save the whole of humanity from a catastrophic asteroid impact. Weaver has been running simulations on LANL’s Cielo supercomputer to determine humanity’s capacity to mitigate an impending asteroid threat using a one-megaton nuclear energy source–one roughly 50 times more powerful than the blasts inflicted upon Hiroshima and Nagasaki at the close of World War II….

Weaver’s simulations have shown something that should boost humanity’s confidence in this endeavor: for an asteroid of the oblong shape and size of Itokawa–roughly 1,640 feet across–there’s no need to drill down into the center of the asteroid to mitigate the threat. “I varied the location of the explosion from the center of the asteroid to the surface of the asteroid both along the long side and the short side,” Weaver says. “The center was by far the most effective because it just blew the whole thing apart. But effective enough was an explosion at the surface of the asteroid, both on the short side and the long side, with the short side being most effective. Once I discovered that, my study focused on surface explosions because it’s just a much simpler mission.”

– Clay Dillow, PopSci.com.

Well yeah, I guess that is simpler, but then you just send boring-ass astronauts and military dudes up there to save humanity and not a ragtag gang of super-drillers, at least one of whom is romantically involved with the daughter of the other one and oh no I just remembered that song.

2012 Mets music choices I’ve noticed so far

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Johan Santana still warms up to the Santana/Rob Thomas collaboration “Smooth,” which I thought was kind of a cool song even despite its ubiquity when it came out, then grew to absolutely hate, and now find palatable only when Johan Santana is warming up to it.

R.A. Dickey warms up to the Imperial March, obviously in loving tribute to Ramon Castro.

Daniel Murphy still uses “Shipping up to Boston,” Ike Davis still uses “Start Me Up,” Justin Turner still uses “The Show Goes On,” and Lucas Duda still uses “All Along the Watchtower.” I believe hitters are allowed up to four choices, so they all might have some others as well.

David Wright definitely uses House of Pain’s “Jump Around” for one of his, possibly his third at-bat. It works.

Jon Rauch warms up to Rage Against the Machine’s “Wake Up,” which has always been on my short list for bullpen songs. The way the massive wall of guitar comes in at the beginning is awesome and monumental and exactly the type of sound I’d want associated with my entrance into a baseball game, especially if I were any good at baseball.

Frank Francisco came out to “Crazy in Love” on Saturday, though Twitter reports he used something else Thursday. If that’s true it could mean he hasn’t settled on anything yet or that he hasn’t provided anything to the Mets’ PA staff yet. But the Jay-Z/Beyonce song works pretty well as a closer song, since the strong beat and triumphant horns give the stadium the party atmosphere a good save situation merits.

But if he’s still thinking about it, might I suggest (not sure even the censored version would suit Citi’s family-friendliness atmosphere, but whatever):

 

The 2012 Mets: Still undefeated

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I came in this morning meaning to crap on your hearts. I intended to plunder baseball-reference to look up all the times the 2011 Mets won three straight games, and maybe even some more woeful Mets teams from the past, because I’m a troll like that and the first week of the baseball season is all about reminding everyone how little the first week of the baseball season means.

But you’re not that stupid, and three straight wins to start the season are fun. Plus, though they might mean very little in the big-picture sense, a hot start for these Mets probably would have some real value to fans in its ability to stave off and/or extinguish some of the negative nonsense surrounding the team that’s grown so frustrating in recent years.

So I’ll enjoy this, and hope it continues. If the Mets start 13-5 instead of 5-13 this year — even if they then go on to play exactly how we expected them to — it should be enough to keep them looking like contenders for way longer than we hoped, and keep a lot of the trolling at bay.

Probably the Mets’ pitching staff won’t maintain its 203 ERA+ all season and David Wright won’t hit .667. But then probably Ike Davis will get a hit at some point too. Lucas Duda’s 108 home run pace is legit though. Guy can mash.

More fun with small sample sizes

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In today’s podcast, we talk a bit about specific pitcher-batter matchups and dominance therein. I’ve mentioned this before: Though I’m not sure stats in such inherently small samples could ever be taken as reliable indicators of which pitcher owns which batter and vice versa, it’s plainly obvious to me that such ownership does sometimes exist.

Like I said on the podcast, maybe a guy faces a pitcher 10 times and feels great against him but lines out 10 straight times. And maybe the same pitcher has some other hitter’s number, but that guy lucks his way into five bloops and bleeders (and a .500 batting average) over the same tiny sample. Tons of randomness in play, as always.

Anyway, I’ve been poking around the baseball-reference play index this afternoon for some fun ones:

Adam Dunn is 7-for-11 with three home runs and two doubles against Clayton Kershaw.

Alfonso Soriano had a .135/.151/.192 line with 21 strikeouts in 52 at-bats against Pedro Martinez.

Mike Piazza was 10-for-26 with six home runs in his career off Pedro. Two of them came in Piazza’s second game back at Shea in 2006, which I attended and which made me tear up a little.

Carlos Delgado was 14-for-28 with seven home runs against Jorge Sosa.

David Wright has struck out 11 times in 17 at-bats against Tim Lincecum.

Ryan Howard has eight home runs in 26 at-bats against Chris Volstad.

I mentioned this in the podcast but it’s my favorite one: Credible Major League hitter Johnny Peralta has struck out 22 times in 30 at-bats against Johan Santana.