Maybe the Jets should start Tim Tebow to shut everyone up

Seriously, what do you really think will happen? Do you actually believe there’s some sort of Tim Tebow Magic that transcends awful offensive-line play, receivers that can’t catch, shoddy play-calling, no run game to speak of, and a defense that’s not good enough to make up for all of it?

I don’t, but I’d be happy as hell to be wrong. Maybe Tim Tebow’s personality is so winning and his poise is so great and his resolve is so strong that he’ll inspire the men around him to stop performing so crappily the moment he’s handed the reins.

And it’s not like Mark Sanchez is playing well. Last week Mark Sanchez lobbed a pass in the general direction of the same receiver to whom he had twice pump-faked. That is not effective use of pump fakes! Sometimes he just randomly drops the ball. That’s stuff Mark Sanchez does now, looking un-winning and un-poised and altogether un-Tebow-like in every way, plus — according to every single broadcaster, at least — looking over his shoulder at Tebow at all times and wondering what he could do to again be such a handsome and overhyped young quarterback.

So bring on Tim Tebow. How much worse could the Jets’ offense possibly be than it was against the Seahawks? Are they concerned about stunting Sanchez’s development? Sanchez’s development is very clearly stunted. At the very least, if it doesn’t go well, then we won’t ever, ever have to talk about it again.

Here are the lyrics to Lenny Kravitz’s Pepsi-sponsored tribute to the Jets, “Like a Jet,” presented without editorial comment

You can listen to it here. If you care to sing along:

On the line in the starting position
No turning back ’cause I’ve made a decision
I got no time to waste; I’m moving
I’ll get you any way that I can.

I’m coming through like a freight train rolling
I’m piercing through like a jet in the sky
I’m busting through like the sun in the morning
I’m gonna take you; just look into my eyes.

I’m in your face and I’m revving my engine
I got the blade, gonna make the incision
I got no time to waste; I’m moving
I’ll get you any way that I can.

Chorus (x2)

I got no time to waste; I’m moving
I’ll get you any way that I can.

Chorus (x2)

I’m coming through like a… JET!
I’m piercing through like a… JET!
I’m busting through like a… JET!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Via TJB.

Mark Sanchez again available

Typically celebrity-romance stuff gets ignored on TedQuarters, but when it involves Mark Sanchez it is noted. The Sanchize’s representatives told US Weekly that he broke up with Eva Longoria recently despite how he “adores and respects” her, and that the split was “about scheduling more than anything else.” Sounds like stuff I’d say if I got dumped, but I can’t imagine anyone ever dumping Mark Sanchez unless a) he’s a real, real jackass in person or b) Eva Longoria’s a WFAN-caller Jets fan and is crushing on Tim Tebow.

When you’re famous, your representatives have to confirm the particulars of your relationships to magazines. How long after your breakup do you let your PR people know about it? Do you allow a few days for things to cool off in case you both regret it and get back together, or are you texting your agent throughout the process for support? Either way it seems weird. (When it’s a marriage or a very long-term relationship, it always makes me sad to see it detailed in headlines. I know it comes with the territory for celebrities, but really, we’re going to get all up in Rhea Perlman’s business when she separates from Danny DeVito? This woman has been with Danny DeVito for 40 years. You can’t convince me that’s not a deep and powerful type of love, something that deserves better than to split a tabloid cover with something crazy Octomom did.)

Any, back to Sanchez: Hey Mark Sanchez, if you’re looking to get back out there and Scotty McKnight’s busy, I make a hell of a wingman. It won’t be weird or anything, I promise. I’m happily married so you don’t have to worry about me competing with you for female attention. Also, the juxtaposition with me will make you look really awesome at football. And then if things don’t work out for you that night, we can hit up Taco Bell for Fourthmeal and talk about sports and girls and stuff. Oh, also, my sister works in Broadway and I know a lot about plays. Does Nick Mangold know a lot about plays? Call me, bro. Use the boat phone if you must.

Kate Upton likes guys who enjoy Taco Bell

The website Celebuzz spoke to two of Kate Upton’s relatives to confirm that the ubiquitous model is dating utterly awesome pitcher Justin Verlander.

If you follow Mark Sanchez’s dating life as closely as some of us do, you may recall that the Jets’ handsomest young quarterback was also once romantically linked to Ms. Upton.

So what does Kate Upton look for in a man? Well, I can only think of one common bond between Mark Sanchez and Justin Verlander: They both love Taco Bell.

Somewhere, Oliver Miller eagerly applies cologne.

Jets seek maximum heartbreak, reel us back in

I don’t have to explain why the Jets’ passing game looks a hell of a lot more efficient on the same day they run for 252 yards, right? The Jets’ offensive line looked as good as they have all season, manhandling a Colts front featuring a hobbled Dwight Freeney and missing Robert Mathis.

Gang Green’s defense looked great, too. Antonio Cromartie’s interception and a few key stops early helped the offense put up 21 points in the second quarter, and the Colts couldn’t do much once they had to force it. Kudos the to the Revis-less Jets secondary for keeping up with the Indianapolis receivers, penalties notwithstanding.

A good game for Shonn Greene to quiet his doubters (this one included), though I suspect he’s hardly the only NFL running back who would put up huge numbers running through the holes he had. Someone buy Nick Mangold a steak dinner.

Spoken like a former center, I know.

The greatest trick Mark Sanchez ever pulled was convincing the world he can’t complete a 20-yard out

Before New York’s 23-17 loss to the Houston Texans in Week 5, backup quarterback Tim Tebow tweeted, “Looking forward to giving God all the glory in tonight’s 666th Monday Night Football game. Romans 8:37-39.”

With the No. 6 jersey on his back, starter Mark Sanchez connected on 14 of 31 passes, had one touchdown and two interceptions.

File this under “You can’t make it up”: Sanchez’s line means — drumroll please — on the season, he now has a 66.6 passer rating, 6.6 yards per attempt, six touchdowns, six interceptions, and his longest completion of the season was good for 66 yards.

CBS New York.

And — as I pointed out when Josh noted the same series of stats in the comments section yesterday — don’t forget that Sanchez is devilishly handsome.

I’d love to dismiss this as a series of coincidences with a joke about how Tebow’s secretary is named Sanchez and Sanchez’s secretary is named Tebow, and obviously I do think it’s a series of coincidences and I don’t think Mark Sanchez is actually Damien from the Omen or anything. But it’s a pretty amazing series of coincidences.

Or maybe — maybe! — Mark Sanchez is unbelievably good at football and he’s just trolling Tim Tebow something fierce, Dawson in Varsity Blues style.