Category Archives: Other Baseball

Is Cole Hamels true SABR?

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“When I was young and dumb and naïve,” Hamels said, he paid attention to the won-loss record, “because everyone talks about a 20-game winner, and it makes you feel like you’re the greatest pitcher ever until you start seeing and experiencing it how wins aren’t really decided by a pitcher. They’re decided by your team.”

– Zach Berman, N.Y. Times.

What the…? That’s not old-school baseball! You know what’s old-school baseball? Pitching to the score, or at least convincing people that you are.

Also very old-school baseball:

Also worth noting: Hamels is awesome at baseball, old-school or otherwise. I caught myself gaping at his baseball-reference page the other day. Someone’s going to give ol’ Cole a hell of a lot of money this offseason, which should mean all sorts of new shoes and dog-backpacks and glamor shots.

Hat tip to Tom Boorstein.

Some Royals fans also didn’t get Beltran, baseball

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For the Kansas City Star, Sam Mellinger writes an excellent feature about Carlos Beltran upon the outfielder’s return to Kauffman Stadium. Go read it.

The first comment:

What I remember most about Carlos is is selfish moody play especially on the tough days when the ream was getting shut out he would go a careless 0 for 4. Then when the team was romping some one he was 5 for 5. We didn’t win with him so why wish we had the selfish bum??

Can that possibly be real and not satire? It’s almost too perfect.

Foul play suspected in Bieber-Putz episode

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OK, I know what some of you are thinking. This story has gone from “charming, oddball coincidence” to “too good to be true.” It was one thing that Putz just happened to pull a random and precious Bieber autographed card from some boxes that Panini employees just happened to hand one of his Twitter-happy teammates. But now, instead of giving his girls the card, Putz is taking them to a Bieber concert that just happens to kick off a tour starting … in Phoenix, where perhaps the whole Putz clan could meet Justin Bieber and get another autograph.

We are to believe that these are just a series of coincidences? Somebody might have gotten played.

– David Brown, Big League Stew.

My headline initially called it the “Putz-Bieber episode” but I figured the “Bieber-Putz episode” would be much better for search engine traffic.

Shane Victorino is a bastion of generosity

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Mets fans may hate Shane Victorino for a variety of decent reasons, but his annual charity fashion show not only raises lots of money for underserved youth but is also one of the most reliable sources for embarrassing photos of Cole Hamels. For example:

You know who’s impressed? Brian Schneider’s impressed:

Needless to say, the archive has been updated.

Via multiple Twitterers, including @meechone, @juliaquadrinoo, @happyhank24 and @crashburnalley.

 

Select decontextualized quotes from “The Humpty Dance” that seem apt to describe R.A. Dickey’s knuckleball

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Explicitly or otherwise:

– “About to ruin the style and the image that ya used to”
– “Allow me to amaze thee”
– “Like M.C. Hammer on crack”
– “The new fool in town”
– “Looptid”
– “Sometimes I get ridiculous”
– “Spunky”
– “You appear to be in pain”
– “Humpin’, funkin’, jumpin'”
– “All the girls they adore me”
– “I’m a freak”
– “Shakin’ and twitchin’ kinda like I was smokin'”
– “You can’t get near me”
– “Hey yo fat girl, come here, are you ticklish?”
– “I like to bite”
– “Really funny lookin'”
– “They say I’m ugly but it just don’t faze me”
– “You stare, you glare”
– “Like a fit or a convulsion”
– “Now I’m gonna do my dance”

Presumably R.A. Dickey’s knuckleball has never gotten busy in a Burger King bathroom.

Peace and Humptiness forever.