Category Archives: Words

Albert Pujols is pretty much going to win the Triple Crown

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Is it me or has there been more Triple Crown talk this year than in the recent past? I heard rumblings earlier about the Triple Crown pursuits of Miguel Cabrera and Carlos Gonzalez.

It’s a novelty achievement, obviously, but nonetheless one that requires a pretty excellent season.

And now it’s pretty clear to me that Albert Pujols is going to win the Triple Crown.

All of a sudden, El Hombre is leading the National League in home runs and RBIs. He is only .007 off the batting-average lead currently held by Joey Votto, a difference Pujols could close in an evening if the opposing pitcher angers him somehow.

Oh, and the funniest part about that? This is actually one of Pujols’ worst seasons of his career.

Certainly, with three men ahead of Pujols in the batting average race and plenty in the mix in the other categories, the odds are against him. But bet against Albert Pujols at your own peril.

And like that, the Rod Barajas era is over

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Just for posterity, I suppose. You’ve probably already heard that the Dodgers claimed Rod Barajas off waivers from the Mets, the Mets let him go, and now Barajas is starting games for the Dodgers.

I’m fine with how the whole Rod Barajas thing played out. The Mets needed a catcher this Spring because the world’s longest, dumbest game of chicken ended with Bengie Molina back in San Francisco. They signed Barajas. He hit a bunch of home runs early on, but, as so often happens, proved to be Rod Barajas in the long run.

Probably the Mets could have cut bait on Barajas a bit sooner, but they were still winning during the first part of his slump I suppose. Anyway, I think I might have had more patience with Barajas than I should have because of his awesome choices for at-bat music.

Anyway, seems like now it works out best for everyone. Barajas goes home to California and gets regular playing time. The Mets and their fans get to see Josh Thole play more often to determine if he’s ready to be an everyday Major League catcher.

Low Rider and California Love will be missed.

A little clarification

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So reports about our forthcoming web series involving old clips of Kiner’s Korner are blowing up the Internet, but I’ve seen a bunch of people extrapolating the reports in all sorts of different ways so I figured I’d clarify:

The series, which I’m very excited about, does indeed include clips from the original Kiner’s Korner. But the original clips will only make up a short portion of each “episode.” The rest will be Ralph reflecting back on that clip, with me sitting next to him like a slack-jawed goon.

We used every scrap of original footage we could find for the shows, but there’s really not much of it out there — we are by no means re-airing entire original episodes of Kiner’s Korner, as I’ve seen a couple of blogs suggest. We would if we could, but those have been, sadly, presumably long since been taped over by now-defunct networks of yesteryear.

Ralph is awesome. He has an unbelievable take on the game, a remarkable memory and a lifetime full of incredible baseball anecdotes, so the show will be worth watching. This is the culmination of the awesomeness I wrote about a few months ago, and hanging out with Ralph for these videos was, like I said, completely amazing.

What I’m doing tomorrow

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I remember once, in college, a student trying to convince a professor to come to a club meeting. I don’t remember what club, though I recall it had some tenuous connection either to the subject of that class or one of the professor’s interests. In either way, the student said, “you should come, there’ll be free food.”

And the professor responded, “You know, someday you’ll get to the point when you’re no longer excited by free food.”

I chimed in that I hoped I never got to that point. And it still hasn’t happened.

So though what I’m doing tomorrow doesn’t necessarily align with the normal editorial thrust of TedQuarters, it is in keeping with just about everything I believe about taking advantage of the opportunities you’re granted to enjoy free food.

Sure, I’ve written almost nothing about tennis here, and actually less about tennis than I have about table tennis, but I would be doing a disservice to myself and the entire TedQuarters readership if I turned down the chance to attend the U.S. Open’s V.I.P. Tasting Preview event with executive chef Michael Lockard.

V.I.P. Like a straight-up baller.

The press release thing mentions gourmet sausages. I’m sorry; I’m not trying to brag. My job is f@#$ing awesome sometimes.

I’ll be around and blogging in the morning, then eating in the midday, then probably back blogging in the afternoon about all the eating I did.

Sandwich of the Week: The post-hype superstar

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It’s funny the way we throw the terms “overrated” and “underrated” around, since they’re both completely subjective. Look at Derek Jeter: It feels like there’s a certain set of baseball fans that probably think Jeter is nationally underrated by those that haven’t tracked his clutch hits throughout the years, that don’t see him do all the little things, don’t witness his myriad intangible contributions. And then there are probably fans who think Jeter is overrated because he’s a handsome guy who plays for the best team in the biggest city and happens to have made some big plays in key spots.

Then there are probably some who look at his stats and say he’s underrated because he routinely posts among the highest OPSes of any shortstop in the league, almost always stays healthy and steals bases at a high rate. Others might argue that he’s overrated like many players who consistently post high batting averages without walking a ton, and though Jeter plays shortstop, defensively he’s not all that hot.

But cut through it all and assess Jeter objectively as possible and you’re left with a clear-cut Hall of Famer and an indisputably great player. That’s the thing. You can hash out how he’s perceived however you want, but there’s really no arguing that he’s an awesome player.

The sandwich: Cheeseburger from Burger Joint at Le Parker Meridien Hotel, 57th St., Manhattan.

Burger Joint is about the worst-kept secret in New York City. It’s a wood-paneled diner-style shack tucked away behind a curtain inside the lobby of the posh hotel. It’s fun and all, but be prepared to box out businessmen for a booth.

The construction: Soft bun, char-grilled burger, one slice white American cheese, one slice yellow American cheese, pickles, ketchup, mustard.

Important background info:This is why I brought up that Jeter stuff before. A couple years ago — for whatever reason — a bunch of food blogs and magazines started labeling this definitively the best burger in New York, and I’m not sure it’s that. So there’s always backlash, like with Jeter. Then you’re all like, “no way, Shake Shack’s better,” or Hanley Ramirez or whatever.

What it looks like:

How it tastes: Spectacular. Man, I love burgers so f@#$ing much. When my wife and I first started dating, I think she thought I was weird because I ordered cheeseburgers so frequently when we went out to dinner — even if we were in someplace relatively fancy. But that’s like the barometer, as far as I’m concerned. If a restaurant makes a really good burger, then I know it’s a good restaurant and I’m comfortable returning there and trying some other stuff. I’ve since branched out a bit, but she’s also wised up and started understanding more fully how awesome burgers are.

Anyway, this is a particularly good burger. It’s kind of in the greasy fast-food style of burger, only super awesome in every way, if that makes sense. It’s a bit thicker than any fast-food burger you’ll ever try (except maybe the Carl’s Jr. six-dollar burger), but it’s got that same type of soft bun and feel to it.

Oh, and the meat is obviously fresh and high-quality. Really, really juicy. And char-grilled, like I said. That helps. The pickles, cheese, ketchup and mustard all taste like they should: important burger complements.

What it’s worth: Burger Joint is way too expensive for what it is — the burger costs like nine bucks or something. But it’s in midtown, so you sort of have to understand that everything’s going to be a few dollars more than it should be. Plus you definitely pay a little extra for the scene here. I mean, wait — let me make this clear: I don’t willingly pay extra for the scene, and I wouldn’t if they weren’t serving such delicious burgers, but part of the reason it’s so expensive, I think, is that the place is hidden in the lobby of a luxury hotel and lined with autographs from celebrities and everything.

All that said, I’m still happy to pay $9 for their burgers and develop ulcers muscling out jackasses for seating. So the joke would be on me if I didn’t get my meaty, juicy retribution as soon as I find a spot.

The rating: Damned if I’m not going for it — the highest rating yet, 95 out of 100. Some people will and have made more out of this burger than they should, but that shouldn’t take anything away from its excellence. Though some of the hype surrounding it might get irritating, it is inarguably a New York classic. Like Jeter himself.

James Franco: Probably awesome

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Some people would probably feel better to read that Mr. Franco’s Clocktower effort can be dismissed as bad beyond redemption, an outsider’s naïve dalliance in things he doesn’t really understand. I initially inclined toward that conclusion, although in the end it turned out to be more interesting and complicated than that….

In the video “Rocket,” a playgroundlike plywood rocket ship (a version is in the show) explodes again and again, beautifully shot from different angles and distances and then edited into rapid-fire bursts. It’s like a homage to the conclusion of “Zabriskie Point” by the explosive-mad Swiss artist Roman Signer. Another video of a perfectly nice little red playhouse being reduced to smithereens by off-camera rifles suggests a new disclaimer along the lines of “No objects were pointlessly destroyed in the making of this movie.”

– Roberta Smith, N.Y. Times.

OK, so I’ve actually written about James Franco before and suggested as much, but after reading this article I’m comfortable saying for certain that James Franco is probably awesome. That’s not an easy thing for a man to say about a handsome contemporary actor, either. I’d be happy to tell you I think someone not-handsome like Steve Buscemi or someone not-contemporary like Paul Newman is awesome, but it’s tough when the dude is basically my age.

Anyway, the way I see it one of two things could be happening here:

1) James Franco is 100% for real and he’s using his fame as a vehicle to showcase vanity art projects featuring himself blowing up a bunch of stuff and frolicking through Paris with a prosthetic penis on his face. In that case, he’s pretty ridiculous, but at least his art is decent enough to convince this New York Times art reviewer that he’s not a total hack, plus we know he can’t take himself all that seriously thanks to his amazing turn in 30 Rock.

2) James Franco is messing with everybody just to see how much he can get away with because he’s a handsome famous actor guy, and the whole art-installation thing is basically just some big Andy Kaufman gag to see if he can get people to revere him as an artist for blowing up bunch of stuff and frolicking through Paris with a prosthetic penis on his face. And if that’s the case, then James Franco is almost inexplicably awesome.

So in either case, James Franco is probably the balls. Plus he was sweet in Pineapple Express and his younger brother Dave Franco — perhaps best known as the soccer-playing kid from Superbad — looks exactly like my former co-worker David Moses.

Tale of the tape: R.A. Dickey vs. my freshman-year R.A.

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I know you’ve been wondering how they stack up, so here it is: A tale of the tape measuring Robert Alan Dickey against Jacques, the friendly resident advisor on the fourth floor of the New South Dormitory at Georgetown University in the 1999-2000 academic year.

R.A. Dickey Jacques the R.A.
Headwear Mets cap Bucket hat
Enjoys reading Yes Yes
Beard Yes Varying
Weapon of choice Knuckleball Student-conduct citations
Widely appreciated facial gesture Makes hilarious face while throwing Looks the other way while you’ve got a backpack that’s obviously filled with beer
Dislikes Being pulled from a game early due to injury Hall sports
Willingness to let you play Bond on his N64 Unknown Frequent
Skills Controlling knuckleballs at multiple speeds, fielding position, flummoxing opposing hitters Playing various musical instruments, pulling off tie-dye, maintaining an interesting tumblr
Fun fact


 Has no ulnar collateral ligament Introduced me to coffee milk

Except I’m not sure it works like that

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The owners of the Empire State Building are objecting to a proposed 69-story skyscraper that would be built two blocks away. The new building, called 15 Penn Plaza, would go where the Hotel Pennsylvania is currently located, at 32nd Street and 7th Avenue, and would rise to about 1200 feet — or just 25 feet lower than the top floor of the Empire State Building.

And the owners of the Empire State Building are putting up a fight. “New York will have a giant black eye on the world stage for allowing such poor city planning to take the vision of New York and marring it in a billion people’s minds around the world,” said Anthony Malkin, the president of Malkin Holdings, LLC, part owner of the iconic building. “Would you put this building next to the Eiffel Tower? Would you put this building next to London’s Big Ben tower? Would you put an oil derrick next to the Statue of Liberty?”

– Matthew Schuerman, WNYC News.

Who knows if this thing will actually get done because obviously 1200-foot skyscraper is a pretty big undertaking, but it’s not exactly an oil derrick. Plus one of Malkin’s examples of iconic beauty — the Eiffel Tower — was denounced as an eyesore when it was first built.

And in living, breathing, growing cities, skylines should be fluid things. I suppose the preservationist urge is always a factor, and so what Malkin and his ilk are doing is just sort of part of the natural progression, but if another skyscraper gets built near or next to the Empire State Building then it will just become, in time, every bit as much a part of what we see when we picture Manhattan.

I happen to love the Empire State Building. Maybe it’s because it’s the first skyscraper I knew, and the central one in the city I grew up near. But to me it seems perfectly befitting its name, like the architectural epitome of the American Empire. Wham. Here I am. Yield to my awesomeness.

But from the certain angles on the Jersey Turnpike it does look a bit lonely. Not sure how the proposed Penn Plaza building will affect that, nor do I know how I feel about the building — it’s hard to get a good sense from the renderings, but it certainly doesn’t look inexplicably awesome like this. We will probably find out, I suppose:

Roger Clemens yada yada yada

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I’m a bit under the weather today and I can’t really muster up the strength to opine one way or the other about Roger Clemens’ indictment.

On one hand, like a lot of baseball fans, I’m pretty sick of all the steroids sanctimony and just wish the whole thing would go away.

On the other, screw Roger Clemens for beaning Mike Piazza then throwing a shard of bat at him. Plus he pretty clearly committed perjury and all, and that’s a crime.

Maybe something entertaining will come of all this. Like more Jose Canseco fashion choices. That’s what I’m pulling for.

This again?

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Expect to see the Mets’ top pitching prospect in Flushing next month: When rosters expand on Sept. 1, the team plans to recall 20-year-old righthander Jenrry Mejia, an organizational source told the Daily News.

Mejia’s role will be determined by the Mets’ position in the standings. If the team finds itself in wild-card contention, it will use the rookie as a late-inning reliever. If the Mets are buried and looking toward next season, they will put Mejia in the rotation to see how he fares in that role against major league lineups.

– Andy Martino, N.Y. Daily News.

Look: It’s pretty much immaterial because the Mets are not going to be in Wild Card contention come September. And that the team would even be considering that possibility and discussing it with the press speaks to its apparent disregard for reality. The Mets are currently 8.5 games out of the Wild Card with six teams ahead of them and an offense that has posted a .598 OPS since the All-Star Break. Probably not going to hack it.

But all that said, what the krod? Late-inning reliever? Really?

I mean… didn’t that just happen? Does no one remember two months ago, when the Mets still had their best pitching prospect toiling away in their bullpen, yielding too many baserunners to be trusted in tight spots? Does someone in the Mets’ front office actually think that the 27 1/3 Minor League innings he has pitched since then have fixed all that?

Because, well, wow. I mean, I’ll allow the possibility that the Mets’ company Web filters block baseball-reference.com, but my browser shows me that Mejia, in 20 1/3 innings in Double-A, has yielded a 1.33 WHIP. That’s a lot of baserunners.

He has been good, mind you, pitching to a 1.77 ERA and whiffing more than a batter an inning, but the traffic problem that mercifully dispatched him from the Major League roster in the first place hasn’t really gone anywhere.

Martino’s article says that some members of the Mets’ front office see Mejia’s future as a late-inning reliever, and I buy that. I don’t necessarily agree but I’ve read that before.

But there is absolutely no doubt that a top-flight starter is more valuable than even the very best relief pitcher, and so Mejia should be given every opportunity to succeed as a starter before he is transitioned into a bullpen role. At the very least, allowing him to work on his secondary arsenal over multiple-inning stints as a starter would make those pitches more effective if and when he needed them in relief.

The guy is 20 years old. 20. Twenty. 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20. And he’s the Mets’ best pitching prospect. Hell, now that Jon Niese has graduated to real-live pitcher, Mejia is really the Mets’ only pitching prospect to speak of at the higher levels of the Minors.

It’s like they’re putting all their eggs in one basket, and then vigorously shaking that basket.

In the Bronx last night, Joe Girardi saw an opportunity to pull Phil Hughes after only 84 pitches and took it to help work towards keeping Hughes to his proscribed 170-innings limit. Comparing Hughes and Mejia is not fair for a bunch of reasons, plus the Yankees haven’t exactly been perfect in their handling of young pitchers over the past few years.

But at least they have a plan. Mejia will, in all likelihood, throw fewer innings this year than he did last. Part of that is because he spent time on the Disabled List (though he did so in 2009 as well), part of that is because of the bullpen experiment that it seemed everyone in the world except the Mets’ front office and manager thought was a bad idea.