Troll responsibly

In other things mentioned on the forthcoming podcast:

Because of the endless entertainment (and significant traffic) I’ve found in archiving embarrassing photos of Cole Hamels, I felt it seemed appropriate to make a small gift in his name to his eponymous charity as a small token of appreciation for his efforts on and off the runway. The money I gave will pay for a desk in the school Hamels is establishing in Malawi. If you’ve enjoyed yourself some embarrassing photos of Cole Hamels in the past, I encourage you to do the same.

It will help impoverished children and make Hamels as happy as this autographed guitar did:

Fontenotes revisted



Extremely longtime readers from the ol’ Flushing Fussing days — i.e. my mom — probably don’t even remember that before the 2007, when the last good Mets team was starting to fall apart and I didn’t realize it yet, I advocated the Mets’ acquisition of then-Cubs Minor Leaguer Mike Fontenot to play second base because Fontenot had enjoyed success against Triple-A pitching and seemed to be stuck behind a logjam (including Ronny Cedeno) in the Cubs’ middle-infield mix.

After Jose Valentin went down with a knee injury in the 2007 season, I maintained a half-kidding regular section at the bottom of posts called “Fontenotes,” tracking Fontenot’s progress. I stopped, I believe, when the Mets traded for Luis Castillo.

Toby Hyde tipped me to the current Phillie-fan clamor for Fontenot on the podcast we recorded last night that should be up later today. The situation is very different than the Mets’ in 2007: For one, Fontenot’s actually in the Phillies’ system, so it’s a lot less ridiculous for fans to be calling for him.

For another, no Phillies fan is viewing Fontenot as a potential longtime regular — he’s not an unproven 26-year-old anymore, and they’ve got Chase Utley slated to return at some point. Fontenot will turn 32 in June, and he’s got five years of being a worthwhile but unspectacular part-time infielder under his belt (and a World Series ring on his finger). Phillies fans see him as a potential offensive upgrade over Freddy Galvis and his .538 OPS.

Still, with Met-fan optimism/delusion running high after the team’s three-game sweep of the Phillies in Philadelphia, the symbolism seems to rich to ignore. Fans of crumbling, aging teams hamstrung by a lack of roster depth demand Mike Fontenot.

I’m way too scarred by the last five seasons to say the Phillies won’t bounce back from their rough start. Plus, they’ve got too much pitching. But in this stretch, isolated by a small sample size and amplified in our heads by one woeful series against the Mets, the cracks are really starting to show.

Also, while writing this post, I became crushed by the overwhelming weight of time. In the time I’ve been covering roster minutiae on the Internet, Mike Fontenot has gone from one side of his prime to the other.

Deuces wild

The Mets’ strong offensive performance with two outs to date this season comes up a lot, but the numbers are often presented without context. So here’s some:

The Mets have scored 67 of their 118 runs with two outs. That’s not typical, though I don’t know that it’s meaningful either.

Generally, the league as a whole scores just under 38 percent of its runs with two outs, about 38.5 percent with one out, and by far the fewest of its runs with no outs (which makes sense). There’s some variation every year, and the numbers are close enough that it’s not at all uncommon for a team to score more runs with two outs than it did with one out (the Mets did last year, for example, and the National League as a whole did in 2008).

It does seem weird for a team to score 56.8 percent of its runs with two outs, as the Mets have to date in 2012, but since it doesn’t appear the Mets are doing anything appreciably different with two outs than they are with one out or no outs, I’d guess it’s just a heaping helping of early-season randomness. And part of it certainly has to do with how bad they’ve been with one out — hitting to a .618 OPS, well below their .707 team rate. That’ll even out, and when it does, the two-out stats won’t seem so extraordinary.

Want more weirdness? The Braves have scored 50.6 percent of their runs with one out. Why? Randomness. Sorry, but it’s going to take a hell of an explanation to convince me otherwise.

But if the randomness thing doesn’t satisfy you as an explanation for the Mets’ two-out heroics, try spreading this around and hope it catches on: The Mets never attempt sacrifice bunts with two outs, so they score lots of runs.

 

Twitter Q&A

Yes, and I don’t think they’ll be far off. Presumably by the time the apocalypse rolls around, a good portion of the human population will indeed worship Giancarlo Stanton.

Seriously though, I think about what future civilizations will assume about us a lot, even though it’s utterly pointless because whatever they think will be filtered through their all their future-people frameworks and we have no idea what those will be. This especially happens whenever I go to DC and tour the monuments at night, since our memorials to great leaders look a bit like those from earlier civilizations that we assume and/or know to be temples to religious figures — at least in their stateliness.

And of course, the way future civilizations perceive us all has to do with how much of our information survives, and we’re documenting everything much more thoroughly (and archiving it all better) than we ever have before. Basically, as long as there’s no dark-ages stuff, some massive worldwide event or series of event that prevents the advancement and preservation of technology, future people are going to know more about us than we know about anyone from the past. But will the people of 3012 have a way to play Blu-ray? Will they even have the right cables? Because if there’s no way to watch Crank 2: High Voltage in stunning HD quality, the future sucks.

There were a couple of questions about Mejia, who’s set to make a 75-pitch rehab start today in St. Lucie. It’ll be interesting to see how the Mets handle him. For all the hype around him dating back a few years now, he’s still only 22 and he’s still only made six starts in Triple-A — he is younger than Matt Harvey with less experience starting at the highest level of the Minors.

Mejia’s got the Jerry Manuel-fueled taste of big-league mop-up duty under his belt, so it’s unfair to call him less experienced than Harvey. But it’s worth noting that he’s yet to throw more than 100 innings in a season at any level. I have to imagine the Mets will want to proceed cautiously with him for that reason, and he’ll wind up starting games in Buffalo. This article from the Daily News suggests Mejia could see a spot start at Citi at some point before Chris Young is ready, though.

Everything out of the Mets seems to suggest they’re bullish on the prospects of Young returning, which is weird since he’s coming off shoulder surgery and has spent most of his last three seasons on the disabled list. But I have not seen Young throw and presumably the Mets have, so maybe they’ve got good reasons. And ideally, they just need Young to stay healthy until one of Harvey, Familia and Mejia proves ready for the Major League rotation later in the summer.

Well I definitely don’t think the division is bad: There’s only one team in it below .500 (and it’s the Phillies, everybody! The Phillies!) and it has the best collective winning percentage in the National League. I do think many people underestimated the Mets before the season, what with the silly 60-win predictions and such.

But I wouldn’t read much into the Mets’ record against their division. It’s nice and it’s a great way to start the season, but it’s also a small sample. They happened to play the Braves before the Braves got hot and the Marlins before the Marlins got hot. All credit to the Mets for beating those teams when they did, but at some point they’re going to run into some divisional opponents playing at their best and their record against the NL East will balance out a bit. The good news is they probably won’t put up an ofer against the NL Central all season.

Josh Hamilton hits four home runs (and a double)

Presumably you know about this already, but last night Josh Hamilton went 5-for-5 with four home runs and a double. I’m posting it here for posterity: Four home runs in a game is easily my favorite single-game accomplishment, because it requires four home runs in a game.

Now you join the ranks of Mark Whiten!

Other awesome things include the Mets’ come-from-behind win over the Phillies last night. Here’s how this goes: When the Mets lose a series to the Phillies, I say, meh, just another series, sure it’s a division rival but it’s only a couple of games. When the Mets take a series from the Phillies, it represents not just a notch in the standings but a triumph of good over evil, a victory for the human spirit in the face of adversity.

A sweep would be the best thing.

Zombie-ant fungus attacked by non-zombifying fungus

If you’re not a myrmecologist, you might have missed last year’s news that a fungus attacking carpenter ants in the Brazilian rainforest was infecting their brains, prompting them to walk to someplace where the fungus can grow, and killing them. It’s widely known as “the zombie-ant fungus,” because people who study insects in rainforests get slaphappy after a while.

Now it turns out the zombie-ant fungus is itself being attacked by a fungus, only unfortunately this fungus does not turn the zombie-ant fungus into a zombie-zombie-ant-fungus.

Ant researchers say this is evidence we should be doing way more ant research.

Bear goes to school

I’ve mentioned this before: For some reason that never seemed strange in middle school, there was a petting zoo in the basement and courtyard of my middle school. Nothing seems strange in middle school because everything is strange in middle school. You don’t even notice that half of your teachers are certifiably insane, driven mad by years of dealing with jackass middle schoolers. You just show up and suffer or enjoy their peculiarities because it’s middle school and everything sucks and you have no other option.

Anyway, there were goats in the courtyard and one time after football practice, my friend set them loose. My locker was across from the courtyard entrance, and I saw him right before he did it. I think the conversation went like this:

“Yo Berg, I’m going to free the goats.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“OK.”

And then he did. My other friend showed up for a basketball practice later that evening and saw a rooster in the boys’ bathroom. Before the custodians could round up the goats, they had eaten an entire art project off a wall. The goats, that is, not the custodians.

Bear story via Gothamist.

Is it fair to make sweeping statements about fanbases?

Over at HardballTalk, Craig Calcaterra links to a series of Tweets from Giants beat writer Henry Schulman about the way Dodgers fans may or may not have treated the hobbled Matt Kemp during last night’s game.

I wasn’t watching the game and can’t speak to the particular incident in question, but at the single Dodgers home game I’ve attended in my life, Clayton Kershaw threw nine innings of two-run ball, struck out 11 Angels and walked none. He left on the short end after allowing a home run to Vernon Wells to put the Angels up 2-1 in the top of the ninth, but as he walked off the mound I stood up to applaud his effort anyway. And practically no one else did.

No way that happens at Citi Field, right? I have to figure if the Mets had a young, homegrown ace of Kershaw’s caliber, the fans that didn’t irrationally blame him for everything would harp on just about everything he did, and would certainly notice and appreciate a stellar outing like that one.

The Dodgers came back and won the game in the bottom of the 9th and the place went nuts. But am I wrong to say that, based on one game’s worth of evidence, most Dodgers fans are not like most Mets fans? Is Schulman wrong to suggest as much based on years of covering the beat in the NL West?

Because it sure seems like there are cultural differences: Mets fans are one way and Yankees fans are another way and Phillies fans are a whole different way, but there’s certainly a lot of confirmation bias in play, and obviously plenty of fans who don’t embody their team’s fanbase at large.