https://twitter.com/JeffSposato/status/269518403025371136

Well, if we’re considering my current living situation, I’m pretty limited. The apartment’s cramped enough with just two of us in it, so as badass as it would be to have a white tiger skulking around — and as much as that would fit with the decor — it just wouldn’t be practical. And I’d say a small monkey of some sort because monkeys are hilarious, but we know from Beltran that monkeys can wreak havoc on apartments and I’ve got a large outstanding security deposit. So I think I’d go with a two-toed sloth, just chillin’ out on top of our bookshelf, bothering no one, cracking me up with its apparent laziness. Look at this thing:

If I had a lot more space, I think it’d be cool to own an elephant because you can RIDE elephants. What if you lived in some quiet suburban town somewhere, and you’re setting off on your sorry little day, and who’s blocking your route to the train station but me on my way to the deli on the back of my trusty three-ton elephant? The only issue is elephants in captivity make me and everyone else who has seen Dumbo very sad.

For those of us who celebrate Christmas, it’s Christmas. Thanksgiving at my parents’ house is typically better than Thanksgiving elsewhere because my mom’s Italian and serves delicious Italian food alongside the traditional Thanksgiving fare. But turkey is pretty wildly overrated and not nearly worth the build-up. The sides are still good, and in principle I support a holiday based on sitting around, eating and giving thanks for the things you have.

But though the build-up and hype before Christmas and the Christmas-shopping process are awful, the relief from Christmas preparation that comes with the holiday, combined with all the same family togetherness stuff from Thanksgiving, combined with the fact that the food is often just as good if not better, combined with the promise of gifts, give Christmas the clear advantage.

I’d still put Thanksgiving up against most holidays, though.

https://twitter.com/TheZaharaDesert/status/269446195905187840

Near as I can tell, pants are a thing because it’s difficult to ride a horse in a tunic and because a strong breeze up a kilt can get awfully chilly in wintertime. But I’ve been pretty consistent in this, I think: Once our oppressive society deems it appropriate for men to wear skirts to work, I will wear a skirt to work.

I try not to complain about any aspect of my job because I realize plenty of people don’t have jobs to complain about and because mine is a sweet job in which I get to write about baseball and the atrocities of mandatory pants. But I’ve been pretty open in my distaste for this office’s dress code, which states that men must wear non-denim pants even when their responsibilities are limited to editing websites and rarely having anyone outside their immediate vicinity in the office seeing the lower halves of their bodies. It’s like they have no idea how much my output would increase and improve from the comfort afforded by shorts in the summer and jeans at all other times. Man, I hate pants. Quoth me:

Via email, Bill asks:

Any thoughts to the new Bond movie being released today?

I know you love The World Is Not Enough.

Bill asks that because he knows I do not love The World Is Not Enough, as Bill was, in fact, sitting next to me when I nearly got my drunken ass kicked in a DC movie theater by some juiced-up meathead who apparently liked the film. I regret nothing. That movie was terrible and everyone around me deserved the truth.

But no, I don’t have many thoughts on the new Bond movie being released today? Daniel Craig seems alright and Javier Bardem is definitely awesome, but I might boycott all Bond movies until someone caves and casts Jason Statham as Bond.

Trick question: There’s no such thing as an average dude with a mustache.

I’m an odd plater, but I had no idea Tom was asking about gas-rationing particulars until I followed up. I don’t drive much in any case, but right now my car is still dead on the side of the street. Thanks to Diwali, I can leave it there until Friday without getting a ticket. That means Thursday night I’ll be scrambling to find a tow truck.

I just spent a good amount of time discussing this with a trusted associate, and it pretty much just turned into the two of us listing as many peripheral Arrested Development characters as we could. They’re all great. It pretty much has to be Barry Zuckercorn, only because he’s got the most screen time of all them and a lot of the funniest lines. But certainly Steve Holt, White Power Bill and the Hot Cops deserve nods.

A bigger challenge might be coming up with a bad Arrested Development peripheral character. I didn’t care for Martin Short’s role or Gene Parmesan much, but other than that, it’s tough to think of any.