Jets’ march to 8-8 continues

Even when the Jets were up 13-7 at halftime, it was hard to believe they’d pull out yesterday’s win over the Rams, given the way their offense and special teams were going. But though the game left us with plenty still worth worrying about, funny things happen when a team holds on to the ball after snaps, during sacks, on runs, and when receiving passes. And the Jets proved too much for Brian Schottenheimer’s offense yet again.

Tim Tebow’s lone highlight came on the most predictable fake punt since that one Genesis game where fake punts were by far the best offensive play (does anyone remember what game that was? When the announcer would say, “It’s second down… and I can’t believe it!” even though you faked a punt nearly every play?). But let’s not diminish the value that fake punt added to the fake fake punt they pulled off later, when Tebow deked like he was taking the snap again but it went to the punter who punted it away on an otherwise normal punt. For all we know, that netted the Jets, like, three extra yards.

Mark Sanchez benefited from improved ball security and a defense that kept the Jets ahead, and enjoys a week not looking like the worst quarterback in the NFL. My best guess is that the Sanchize is in truth way better than most Jets fans seem to think he is and still way worse than the Jets seem to think he is, but there’s really no perfect way to isolate individual performances in football and they all exist in small sample sizes anyway.

About that, and for what it’s worth: Sunday’s was the Jets’ 10th game, and their fifth in which they rushed for over 100 yards. Every time the Jets have gained over 100 yards on the ground, Sanchez has completed more than half of his passes. In those five games, he has a 63.1-percent completion rating.

Sanchez has completed less than half his passes in every game in which the Jets have rushed for under 100 yards. In those five games, he has a 43.5-percent completion rating.

There’s not really an obvious to conclusion to draw from that, as there’s a lot of chicken-and-eggery involved. Plus 100 yards is a pretty arbitrary endpoint, not some magical barometer for effective running. It could be that in some of the better offensive performances, the Jets were able to move the ball on the ground because Sanchez was throwing the ball well. In some games — the debacle in Houston stands out — the Jets’ line appeared so thoroughly manhandled by the opponents’ defensive front to render both facets of the offense hapless. But it does seem — and I figure this is true for every team and every quarterback — that the Jets have an easier time passing the ball when they can run the ball and vice versa. Not really rocket science, but it’s something to keep in mind when you’re trying to identify specific culprits.

Look at how happy they are now:

You know they’re going to beat the Patriots, right? That’s totally happening. Then they’ll beat the struggling Cardinals too, and just when we’re all sucked back in they’ll lose to the Jaguars and Titans to crush our spirits, then beat the Chargers and Bills in loving tribute to Herm Edwards. Don’t come at me with facts. This is well-researched stuff.

Maybe the Jets should start Tim Tebow to shut everyone up

Seriously, what do you really think will happen? Do you actually believe there’s some sort of Tim Tebow Magic that transcends awful offensive-line play, receivers that can’t catch, shoddy play-calling, no run game to speak of, and a defense that’s not good enough to make up for all of it?

I don’t, but I’d be happy as hell to be wrong. Maybe Tim Tebow’s personality is so winning and his poise is so great and his resolve is so strong that he’ll inspire the men around him to stop performing so crappily the moment he’s handed the reins.

And it’s not like Mark Sanchez is playing well. Last week Mark Sanchez lobbed a pass in the general direction of the same receiver to whom he had twice pump-faked. That is not effective use of pump fakes! Sometimes he just randomly drops the ball. That’s stuff Mark Sanchez does now, looking un-winning and un-poised and altogether un-Tebow-like in every way, plus — according to every single broadcaster, at least — looking over his shoulder at Tebow at all times and wondering what he could do to again be such a handsome and overhyped young quarterback.

So bring on Tim Tebow. How much worse could the Jets’ offense possibly be than it was against the Seahawks? Are they concerned about stunting Sanchez’s development? Sanchez’s development is very clearly stunted. At the very least, if it doesn’t go well, then we won’t ever, ever have to talk about it again.

Shockingly, someone attending an Aerosmith concert shows questionable taste

Tom Brady took a break from his usual hobbies of bedding models atop piles of money and being frustratingly awesome at football to take in an Aerosmith concert in Boston on Monday afternoon with Patriots owner Robert Kraft, among others. Brady braved Boston’s November chill in a belted black peacoat with a half-popped collar and, alarmingly, no evidence of a shirt underneath:

It’s strange, but I’m not sure it even cracks the Top 10 most embarrassing photos of Tom Brady. Hell, for all we know, Brady was just paying tribute to Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry, who, as a point of fact, does not even own a shirt.

Also, because I found it while Google Imaging “Joe Perry shirtless” (I really hope my web activity here at the office is being screened by someone), here’s a photo of Joe Perry and Roger Clemens. Via Matador Records:

I’m trying to imagine how a conversation between Joe Perry and Roger Clemens might go, but I can’t get past two exchanges in my mind before they just start yelling, “No, I’m the worst!” and going back and forth like that ad infinitum.

Brady news via Greg.

Mark Sanchez again available

Typically celebrity-romance stuff gets ignored on TedQuarters, but when it involves Mark Sanchez it is noted. The Sanchize’s representatives told US Weekly that he broke up with Eva Longoria recently despite how he “adores and respects” her, and that the split was “about scheduling more than anything else.” Sounds like stuff I’d say if I got dumped, but I can’t imagine anyone ever dumping Mark Sanchez unless a) he’s a real, real jackass in person or b) Eva Longoria’s a WFAN-caller Jets fan and is crushing on Tim Tebow.

When you’re famous, your representatives have to confirm the particulars of your relationships to magazines. How long after your breakup do you let your PR people know about it? Do you allow a few days for things to cool off in case you both regret it and get back together, or are you texting your agent throughout the process for support? Either way it seems weird. (When it’s a marriage or a very long-term relationship, it always makes me sad to see it detailed in headlines. I know it comes with the territory for celebrities, but really, we’re going to get all up in Rhea Perlman’s business when she separates from Danny DeVito? This woman has been with Danny DeVito for 40 years. You can’t convince me that’s not a deep and powerful type of love, something that deserves better than to split a tabloid cover with something crazy Octomom did.)

Any, back to Sanchez: Hey Mark Sanchez, if you’re looking to get back out there and Scotty McKnight’s busy, I make a hell of a wingman. It won’t be weird or anything, I promise. I’m happily married so you don’t have to worry about me competing with you for female attention. Also, the juxtaposition with me will make you look really awesome at football. And then if things don’t work out for you that night, we can hit up Taco Bell for Fourthmeal and talk about sports and girls and stuff. Oh, also, my sister works in Broadway and I know a lot about plays. Does Nick Mangold know a lot about plays? Call me, bro. Use the boat phone if you must.

NFL Films covering Tecmo Bowl

Well this is awesome. Not to get all nerdy with it, but I’m pretty sure they’re referring to Tecmo Super Bowl here and not the original Tecmo Bowl or else they’d surely note the utter dominance of the Chicago Bears. Tecmo Super Bowl was the superior game, though, and the first Nintendo game I was aware of that managed to keep stats. I’m still not clear on how that worked. Contained inside: Video of Christian Okoye watching his own video-game dominance.

Kate Upton likes guys who enjoy Taco Bell

The website Celebuzz spoke to two of Kate Upton’s relatives to confirm that the ubiquitous model is dating utterly awesome pitcher Justin Verlander.

If you follow Mark Sanchez’s dating life as closely as some of us do, you may recall that the Jets’ handsomest young quarterback was also once romantically linked to Ms. Upton.

So what does Kate Upton look for in a man? Well, I can only think of one common bond between Mark Sanchez and Justin Verlander: They both love Taco Bell.

Somewhere, Oliver Miller eagerly applies cologne.

Jets seek maximum heartbreak, reel us back in

I don’t have to explain why the Jets’ passing game looks a hell of a lot more efficient on the same day they run for 252 yards, right? The Jets’ offensive line looked as good as they have all season, manhandling a Colts front featuring a hobbled Dwight Freeney and missing Robert Mathis.

Gang Green’s defense looked great, too. Antonio Cromartie’s interception and a few key stops early helped the offense put up 21 points in the second quarter, and the Colts couldn’t do much once they had to force it. Kudos the to the Revis-less Jets secondary for keeping up with the Indianapolis receivers, penalties notwithstanding.

A good game for Shonn Greene to quiet his doubters (this one included), though I suspect he’s hardly the only NFL running back who would put up huge numbers running through the holes he had. Someone buy Nick Mangold a steak dinner.

Spoken like a former center, I know.