This feature is usually reserved for weekends, but I’m busting it out now because a) I don’t have much to say about R.A. Dickey’s Cy Young candidacy other than that I hope he wins and won’t think his season any less awesome if he doesn’t and b) the New York Times published a scathing review of Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant which was kind of funny but would be way funnier if it were taking its shots at someone who wasn’t such an obvious, glowing target. It’s like the Comedy Central’s roast of Donald Trump of restaurant reviews. Silly man opens silly restaurant in silly place featuring silly food. I’m not here to defend Guy Fieri, but the Times’ was about the seventh similar review I’ve read of the place and not a single one convinced me the reviewer entered with an open mind. It’s Guy Fieri’s new restaurant in Times Square. Do theater reviewers hold The Lion King to the same standards as Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Anyway, all that aside, here’s this, for the Guy Fieri in all of us. Bold Flavors Snack of the Week: Srirachia Soy Wings. Come up with a better name if you’d like, that’s what’s on here:
The process is as follows:
1) Eat frozen dumplings for dinner one night (but heat them first), dipping them in soy sauce mixed with Sriracha. Realize that soy sauce and Sriracha taste great together, and set that observation aside for a later date.
2) Have a dozen wings in your freezer but not enough Frank’s left in your fridge to make Buffalo wings. Thaw the wings. Be really lazy, and know that the Jets are coming in a little while. Remember about the soy and the Sriracha.
3) Melt about a half a stick of butter in a small saucepan over low-medium heat. Sautee a clove of garlic, minced, in the butter, because why not add garlic to practically everything?
4) Reduce heat to as low as your stove will go and still be heating. Add roughly five tablespoons of Sriracha, a tablespoon of soy sauce and two teaspoons of honey to the saucepan. You might want to play around with the proportions, depending on how spicy, salty or sweet you like your food. Stir.
5) Cook wings however you might cook wings. I recommend frying them, because hey. Toss wings in sauce.
6) Get container of sour cream out of fridge, for dipping. Taste-test sour cream and realize it has become yogurt. Discard sour cream. Serve wings with ranch.
7) Turn on the Jets. Why?
They’re good. Not better than regular Buffalo wings, I’d say, but a fine alternative if you’re looking to serve multiple styles of wings. Spicy in a different way than the traditional wing, with a hint of the familiar soy flavor and some sweetness from both the Sriracha and the honey. The garlic gets lost a bit, but it’s in there somewhere, and that’s comforting to know.