Category Archives: Taco Bell

Friday Q&A, pt. 2: The randos

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https://twitter.com/LisaAnnNg/status/256756661333671936

I would be a man in a solid gold suit with diamond buttons. I’m allowed to keep this stuff, right?

Since that doesn’t seem in the spirit of the question, I think I’d want to go with something incredibly elaborate and not really all that funny outside of the context of showing up to some Halloween party. Like what if you were at some friend’s Halloween party, and there’s one guy dressed as Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover, one guy with a fake goatee saying he’s his own evil twin, a couple dressed as Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, and a girl dressed as a sexy chicken or whatever, and then there’s just one dude in a full-blown, cinema-quality Predator costume?

And you might think it’d funniest if you stayed in character as the Predator the whole night, and maybe camouflage yourself against the keg and shoot the Bieber guy’s arm off. But I think the best way to play it would actually be to act like nothing’s up, not really explain why you have such an extensive Predator costume and behave like any old bro at the Halloween party. I’m envisioning a Predator playing flip-cup.

https://twitter.com/Devon2012/status/256754907749703680

Well, the best season entirely depends on your station in life. As long as you’re still going to school, summer is by far the best season because it’s the one in which they don’t make you go to school. Once you’re not in school, summer’s really only good because of baseball and practically everything else about it kind of sucks. There’s a bunch of stuff to do, but it’s usually too hot to want to do anything. And you still feel obligated to do the stuff because that mindset of summer-is-when-you-do-fun-stuff has been programmed into you since childhood, so even if you want to just sit at home and watch baseball in the air conditioning, you look out the window and you say, “oh, sunny summer day,” and feel like a schmo for not doing anything. Then you go outside and you’re already so sweaty that it’s embarrassing to be outside. Oh, and the air conditioning’s really expensive.

The winter is also better when you’re a kid than when you’re an adult. When it snows and you’re a kid, sometimes they don’t make you go to school. And you were planning on going to school that day, so when you find out you’re off it’s a bonus-time scenario*. (And I actually liked going to school, for what it’s worth.) When you’re an adult and it snows, you’ve got to deal with it, and that’s a huge pain in the ass. Alternately, you could opt to live in a city and not deal with it, but that means negotiating disgusting city slush for several days.

Fall is cool because it has this time when football and baseball overlap. But since fall technically includes early December and early December can sometimes suck most of all, I’m going with spring on this one. There’s the promise of baseball, then baseball, and it’s before baseball has destroyed you for the year. The weather’s bearable and you’re psyched to be outside because you’ve just been all holed up for the winter. And there’s, you know, flowers and stuff. It’s poetic.

*- “Bonus time” was a concept frequently discussed among my roommates in college when we were justifying our laziness. Essentially, if you’ve got something scheduled (class, most likely) and that thing is canceled, you are not obligated to do anything productive in the time that thing was supposed to occupy even if you are busy. It’s bonus time. You didn’t expect to have this time in the first place, so why not watch Ghostbusters again?

Unfortunately, bonus time doesn’t really work out so well in real life when there’s never an end of the semester pending.

https://twitter.com/metschick/status/256754560243220480

It’s the pork bomb, almost by default. While I eat a lot of sandwiches in the pursuit of sandwiches worthy of review, this has been a pretty busy week of watching playoff baseball that kept me mostly eating at home. And my typical workday lunch is a combination of two Boar’s Head deli meats and a cheese on whole-wheat bread, which gets the job done but is hardly notable. Often the selection is dictated by what’s on sale at Fairway. This week I had Ovengold Turkey, Chipotle Chicken and Vermont Cheddar. This is all fascinating stuff, I know.

I would like to take this opportunity, though, to note that my rather pedestrian-sounding lunchpail sandwiches have been improved lately by the continued inclusion of Silver Spring mustards. The most recent addition to my mustard arsenal is their Peppadew Mustard, a sweet and spicy condiment based on a trademarked South African variety of pepper that was only discovered in 1993. I haven’t had the peppadew on its own, but its mustard offspring is delicious.

Also, I had a very good chicken tikka wrap at a contemporary Indian takeout place on 28th and Lexington — “Curry Hill,” as it’s cleverly known. If you count that as a sandwich, it was probably that.

Things I ate this week!

https://twitter.com/tomthirtysix/status/256754949642412032

Wait, Freeport, N.Y.? Where!? I’m really letting the Long Island South Shore Taco Bell scene slip away from me. Sad.

But yeah, there are Taco Bells in strip malls — there’s one in Queens I’ve wound up at a couple of times after I got lost trying to avoid traffic. They’re not as good as Taco Bells with drive-thrus, obviously, because who wants to stand up?

Taco Bell Tuesday

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Not many items of Taco Bell news this Tuesday, but this one’s hard to beat:

Taco Bell carjacking ends on the Yolo Bypass: Outside of the actual carjacking part, which sounds terrifying, this is all pretty hilarious and worth clicking through to read. It turns out that in addition to having a “Yolo Bypass,” East Davis, Calif. also has a Mace Blvd and a Chiles Road. Plus, the carjacker was chased into a cornfield by, among others, the California Department of Fish and Game. When cops surrounded the cornfield and demanded he surrender, he refused and laid down — a really good method if you’re ever hiding in a cornfield. Fortunately, the police have dogs that can distinguish the sickening smell of man from the sweet scent of corn, and the suspect was soon apprehended.

But really, I note it here because “Taco Bell Carjacking on the Yolo Bypass” is about the best title I could ever come up with for an album or poem or short story or autobiography. If I were on the Bleacher Report analytics team I’d definitely slip “Taco Bell Carjacking on the Yolo Bypass” into my massive list of potential UFC headlines just to see what someone came up with.

Taco Bell finishes second in survey of fastest fast-food: Wendy’s topped the list, which wouldn’t be surprising to anyone who frequents the outstanding Wendy’s in Hawthorne, N.Y. but would be absolutely f—ing baffling to anyone who has ever been to that Wendy’s in Yonkers. Taco Bell, I am near certain, was impacted by its continued affiliation with the Worst Taco Bell in the World in Elmsford, N.Y., where it once took over 20 minutes for me to get a drive-thru order.

Return of the Chicken Caesar Burrito?: Let’s ignore the typical LOLTacoBell stuff contained in the link and focus only on the potential positive: Is the Chicken Caesar Burrito coming back to Taco Bell? Will it be the original Chicken Caesar Grilled Stuft Burrito from the early part of this millennium or, as the article suggests, a new Lorena Garcia-inspired item?

The important thing is that it incorporates the Crunchy Red Strips. The first Chicken Caesar Grilled Stuft Burrito marked the introduction of that fine ingredient, and it would be a shame to bring a descendent back to the menu without a nod to the innovations of the original.

Taco Bell Tuesday

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Not just Taco Tuesday, Taco Bell Tuesday.

Chipotle gets Einhorned: Remember David Einhorn, hedge-fund honcho and would-be part owner of the Mets? He’s rich enough that the stock market actually reacts to things he says, which is… please David Einhorn send me a million dollars. Anyway, at some sort of rich-guy conference this morning, he announced that he was short-selling Chipotle stock largely because of Taco Bell’s Cantina Menu.

Einhorn said, among other things, “Taco Bell has started to eat Chipotle’s lunch,” which is clever. At one point, according to Barron’s:

He then sang “Come to Taco Taco Taco Taco Taco Taco Taco Bell.” Really.

Needless to say, Einhorn’s behavior prompted some hand-wringing and age-old Taco Bell jokes from some Twitterers, but he was laughing all the way to the bank (and stopping at the drive-thru on the way) when Chipotle’s stock dropped five percent.

I don’t really know what else to say. I don’t even own a stock, but if I did I’d probably want to buy up both Chipotle and Taco Bell because they’re both delicious and why not hedge my bets? Note: Do not take stock advice from TedQuarters.

I think Twitterer @RTDaniels put it best:

https://twitter.com/RTDaniels/status/253158919801810944

That’s Gordita, buddy. But yeah.

Taco Bells to glow in real life and not just in our hearts and minds: Remember that new Taco Bell prototype discussed here a couple of weeks ago? It turns out it’s going to glow purple in the night.

The design’s most striking feature is a layer of narrow black metal slats covering one of the building’s four tan exterior walls. At night, LED lights shine Taco Bell purple light out from between the wall and the slats, which are spaced out slightly to let light through.

“As night falls, and as late night begins, we really celebrate that light-night feeling with a purple glow that comes from behind the slat wall,” [Taco Bell’s director of concept development Dan] Roberts said. “You will be able to see it from a quarter-mile away. This building is truly going to be best on block, it will truly be a beacon in the night.”

So that’s the greatest and best thing I’ve ever heard. Also of note: Taco Bell has a “director of concept development,” and I have a new life goal. Just not sure I’ll be able to match the work of my predecessor, the guy who came up with the Glowing Taco Bell idea.

Kansas State coach Bill Snyder loves Taco Bell: I’m not a huge college football guy, but I just became a Kansas State fan. Bill Snyder’s all right by me.

Taco Bell searching for media agency: Honestly, I have no idea what they’re looking for or why because I got bored by the article about a paragraph in, but I’d like to throw my name in the ring anyway. It starts with passion for the product, Taco Bell. And I feel this is just the tunnel I’ve been seeking toward my career in Taco Bell concept development.

 

 

Friday Q&A, pt. 3: Food stuff and randos

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Via email, Rob V. writes:

Do you get unsolicited comments/advice/critique on your facial hair? I have a pretty solid beard going at the moment, and pretty much everyone I see points out the gray whiskers that seem to be winning out, or that there is a little spot that is a bit sparse. Others love to call me Wolfman Jack or Grizzly Adams. I mean, come on, right? I don’t go around commenting on other people’s appearances in a mocking tone. Well, not to their faces anyway. Can’t a dude grow some hairs without it turning into a conversation piece?

Well, I never have facial hair beyond a few days’ stubble, so not really. Sometimes I’ll go four or five days without shaving and someone will be all, “oh hey, growing a beard?” And I’ll say, “nah, just lazy,” and that’ll be about the end of it. I wasn’t trying to hide it, but just to clarify: The mustache I wore to interview Keith Hernandez yesterday was fake. It was my good fake so I understand how it fooled some people.

I cannot grow a mustache. I have a very thick beard that comes in fast but only a few lame mustache hairs. Unfortunately, every facial-hair style I’d ever want to fashion requires a decent mustache, so it limits me to a few days’ stubble and clean-shavenness. Such is the irony of my biography. Due to the regularity with which I have to do video stuff for SNY.tv, I haven’t actually tried growing anything out in years. So maybe my mustache is better than it once was. That’s the hope I hold on to.

I do, however, provide unsolicited comments, advice and criticism on people’s facial hair all the time. If I haven’t seen a friend in a couple of months and the next time I do, he’s got some sort of chin beard going, I’ll say, “You’ve got some sort of chin beard going, eh?” Usually I’m encouraging, though, and tell everyone they’re great beard guys even if they’re not necessarily great beard guys.

So to answer your question: No, some dude cannot grow some hairs without it turning into a conversation piece. That’s a sweet beard, and what the hell else are we going to talk about? You’re really a great beard guy, Rob.

https://twitter.com/kmflemming/status/251690874793230337

What? Yes! Of course they are! Bananas are delicious, and some form of peanut butter and banana sandwich has been favored by both David Wright and Elvis Presley. I repeat: David Wright and Elvis Presley.

Oh man, I just got an idea for a new Don Berg painting.

https://twitter.com/connallon/status/251690255336476672

OK: Are we talking homemade pizza bagels on real bagels here or Bagel Bites? Either way they’re in first place pretty easily. Pizza bites come second, and beg the question: Why aren’t we serving more foods in bastardized, microwaveable egg-roll wrappers?

I’ll put pizza Hot Pockets and Elio’s Pizza down for a toss-up because I haven’t had either since roughly seventh grade. I bet I’d prefer Elio’s today because occasionally I get a waft of something that smells just like Elio’s Pizza and I crave Elio’s Pizza and that never ever happens when anything smells like Hot Pockets.

https://twitter.com/Devon2012/status/251689030171893760

Yes, definitely. I don’t even understand what the downside is. I don’t get to enjoy sleep anymore? But the only reason I really like sleeping is because it staves off all those side effects of not sleeping. So if I wasn’t ever going to be tired and the rest wasn’t going to help my back feel better, why not? I could watch so much TV! Also, I’d love to be able to get out in the middle of the night now that I live in the city. Manhattan is awesome when it’s quiet.

I’m a pretty terrible sleeper and always have been. By now I’ve figured what I need to do to fall asleep, but for most of my life my mind would start racing irrationally after I went to bed and I would find myself staring at the ceiling in the dark for hours. There were times in high school and college when I’d go two or three days without actually sleeping more than an hour or two.

https://twitter.com/Bert1335/status/251688595931410432

There’s a place for all of them, but straight up? Crunchy. Call me old fashioned.

Statler or Waldorf. Sitting in my tower judging things and laughing about it is pretty much what I do here. In college, my roommates and I set up our couches stadium-style. We’d throw parties, and my roommate Will and I would sit up on the highest level couch demanding people bring us drinks and then mocking them. It was great. Girls really liked us, fellas.

https://twitter.com/omniality/status/251688238610259970

Face, because I also want that nickname. Also, the actor who played Faceman was named Dirk Benedict.

https://twitter.com/CatsmeatP_P/status/251688930087419904

I’m so glad Catsmeat asked this. The 90s-party phenomenon fascinates me, partly because it makes me feel tragically old for the first time in my life and partly because I feel I am almost always more appropriately dressed for a 90s party than people actually on their way to a 90s party. Right now I’m wearing a plaid shirt that’s way too loose-fitting to be trendy, some ratty brown pants and Doc Martens. Groups of kids on their way to 90s parties always seem to feature a bunch of people dressed for raves and a couple guys in old flannels with ripped jeans and Nirvana t-shirts. DAMMIT I WAS THERE AND THAT’S NOT HOW IT WAS!

There are a lot of 90s fashions begging to be revisited for 90s parties. Jnco jeans, for instance. Another good option is to just go as Dr. Dre, wearing a black White Sox hat, a black button down and black jeans, with optional black denim jacket.

But since I know you to be a great beard guy, Catsmeat, I’m going to say you should definitely go as this guy from the “Black Hole Sun” video. Not everyone would get it, but everyone who did would be a) really impressed and b) probably pretty cool.

 

 

Taco Bell Tuesday

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Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Taco Bell Tuesday!

Kind of a slow one though.

Massachusetts man demands faster Taco Bell: Police in Salem, Mass. responded to a disturbance at a local Taco Bell that started when a customer got mad that his food did not come quickly enough. I’d need to check out this particular Taco Bell to tell you who’s justified here. You may claim that anyone who gets upset enough over a Taco Bell wait to merit an emergency call is crazy, but I’d counter that I’ve waited over 20 minutes for my food at the Taco Bell in Elmsford, N.Y. on multiple occasions and that’s way crazier.

Pictures of Flamas Doritos Locos Tacos emerge: They look like the original Doritos Locos Tacos, it turns out. Slightly redder I think, but sometimes my monitor is weird.

Taco Bell working to end hunger even more so: I need to tread lightly because you never know what someone’s digging up on ol’ Glen Bell right now, but I, for one, am pretty glad that when Taco Bell gives to charity it’s on behalf of ending world hunger and not, you know, saving the world from gay marriage. I want my Taco Bell consumption to carry on unencumbered by politics, and a recent harrowing experience at Chick-Fil-A revealed to me that without some sort of bumper sticker that politely but explicitly asks people to not extrapolate my chicken-sandwich choices to imply anything whatsoever about my political beliefs, I cannot in good conscience eat Chick-Fil-A. That’s terrible, because Chick-Fil-A is delicious. And I know it all goes against my typical Sandwiches Uber Alles approach to everything. But it’s just too complicated now. The only statement of any kind I want to make with my fast food choices is, “I am a man who appreciates inexpensive food served quickly.” I don’t want to go in for much more than that.

Heretofore unknown Brooklyn Taco Bell emerges: I had no idea. That’s not an area I get to that often, but it’s good to know about regardless.

Taco Bell Tuesday

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I almost forgot!

Most importantly: Peter at the So Good Blog reviews — without judgment — Taco Bell’s new Firstmeal offerings and provides some clarity on the mysterious third orangey goo from the Breakfast Crunchwrap photos. He guesses that it’s their rarely used jalapeno sauce — familiar mostly from the chicken and steak quesadillas — and asserts that it provides the flavor both of us wanted in previous Taco Bell breakfast offerings. The whole review is worth a read. Obviously I haven’t had the new products yet so I can’t vouch for them, but this guy’s tastes seem to align so closely with mine that I suspect he’s on the money with it. For what it’s worth: this is my first time stumbling my way to the So Good Blog but I expect I’ll be back. Entertaining and unpretentious.

A look into the future: Commerce City, Colorado is getting a new Taco Bell prototype that is being described as both “upscale” and “a beacon in the night.” Clearly another important step in the Franchise Wars. Check it out:

Flamas Doritos Locos Tacos testing: Toledo, Ohio — where it all started — is now selling the long-speculated new Flamas flavor of Doritos Locos Tacos. Will friend of friend of TedQuarters Nat Cristiano make the drive? Also inside: Word that the biggest hurdle in the creation of the Doritos Locos Taco was “Doritos are triangles, but triangles don’t make good taco shells” and that “it was a true impasse for awhile, one that needed to be resolved by the presidents of both brands directly.” So that’s hilarious. Lastly, Columbus Business First staff reporter Dan Eaton does a good job putting on a suit and smart glasses to look like a business reporter, but something about his hair and beard screams “Fourthmeal Enthusiast.” I guess there’s no reason you can’t be both. You’re all right by me, Dan Eaton. Keep up the good work.

Taco Bell Tuesday

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This is a big one. Thanks to everyone who sent me word of the following:

Taco Bell heroism: A member of Navy SEAL Team 6 — the unit that killed Osama Bin Laden — went on 60 Minutes this week and described the mission’s aftermath. The money quote:

They told us we had a couple days off. And I grabbed my keys, went and got in my truck and, you know, I put it in the book. But, you know, I hit Taco Bell on the way home, hit the drive-thru, a couple tacos. And, you know, ate it in my car right there and then drove home.

I don’t even know what to add. He went on to detail his order — “two tacos and a bean burrito” and added that “it’s routine.” I can’t even imagine what being a Navy SEAL is like, but maybe it’s comforting to enjoy something familiar after a mission so severe and potentially so hazardous.

Just the icing on a few great months for Taco Bell, too. You figure any executives from the other major fast-food players watching the 60 Minutes were all, “What? Oh, c’mon!” The Taco Bell train surges forward.

Taco Bell teens Live Large: The Taco Bell Foundation for Teens, through its Graduate to Go initiative, awarded $15,000 worth of scholarships to a group of students from the Carson, Calif. Boys & Girls Club for creating a new Taco Bell menu item that beat competitors in taste tests and will apparently be sold in stores. Their masterwork, the “Live Large Burrito,” beat out a “Volcano Bowl” in the finals, but as far as I can tell the Internet has no word yet on what’s in the forthcoming burrito.

Also, offering scholarships to students who come up with the best new Taco Bell menu item is a wonderful idea and certainly well within the capacity of the geniuses behind Taco Bell. Obviously. But because I am paranoid about a spate of earlier coincidences between Taco Bell marketing initiatives and suggestions made on this blog, I feel obliged to note that I have been advocating a create-a-new-menu-item contest for years now.

Seriously, Taco Bell: If by some chance you’re out there reading, just email me. I’m a huge fan. I think we could do some amazing things together. Speaking of:

Taco Bell builds relationships with consumers and develops its brand within the social-media space by leveraging buzzwords: Or something. Basically, some company tracked which restaurants most effectively used Facebook to advertise and it turns out Taco Bell dominates the field. No surprise there.

The Taco Bell Guy and the Mountain Goat: I don’t know much about Chrisy Ross or her work blogging at the American Fork Citizen, but on principle I support anyone who writes life lessons learned (without pretense or sarcasm or condescension) at Taco Bell. Also, The Taco Bell Guy and the Mountain Goat is the name of my forthcoming roots rock album.

 

Taco Bell Tuesday

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It’s Taco Bell Tuesday, and most of the news seems to stem from a single press release which, notably, I did not receive. What do I have to do to get on Taco Bell’s press list? Seriously. I have 276 unopened emails on my phone alone right now because I get four press releases every time a local arena-football team waives its backup kicker/punter. And no one out there will add me to the Taco Bell press list? I work for a mainstream media outlet. I am a crazy big-time journalist bro. Hell, I’m even on the Hamels Foundation’s media list. I WRITE ABOUT TACO BELL EVERY DAMN WEEK ARE YOU REALLY NOT LISTENING PLEASE TACO BELL IT’S ME TED I LOVE YOU WHY WON’T YOU EVER ACKNOWLEDGE ME WE COULD HAVE SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL!

Anyway.

Taco Bell unveils cornerstone of FirstMeal menu: A snippet of the press release, which has to come to you via Business Insider as if I’m not a business insider even though I’m sitting right here inside a f@#$ing business, refers to three “destination items” on the FirstMeal menu. Neither the Cinnabon Bites nor Mountain Dew A.M. should be new to anyone who regularly reads TedQuarters, but the release brings the first word of the A.M. Crunchwrap, which apparently looks like this:

OK, here’s the thing: Every description I can find of the A.M. Crunchwrap says it contains eggs, cheese, a hashbrown and bacon or sausage in a tortilla. But look at that picture: There’s something else in there. There are three distinct yellowy-orange goos. One is the cheese, one is the egg. What’s the third? What’s the third goo, Taco Bell? Because if that’s Lava Sauce or Zesty Pepper Jack sauce, we’re talking FirstMeal.

If you’ll recall, my initial disappointment in Taco Bell breakfast stemmed from the low ratio of Taco Bell to breakfast. Adding a signature sauce could go a long way toward righting that wrong. And, hey, hash browns.

No road trips necessary: On a conference call, Yum Brands CEO David Novak said he expects a nationwide rollout of FirstMeal by 2014. Again, Taco Bell: Loop me in on this stuff. C’mon.

For reasons almost inconceivable to me, not everyone reads TedQuarters: So news of the existence of Mountain Dew A.M. — reported here and elsewhere months ago — came as something of a surprise to the Internet and prompted all the predictable condescension. Pretty sure there’s a Fast Food Snark Mad Libs for Bloggers template out there you can just fill out whenever the need arises.

 

Taco Bell Tuesday

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Not just Tuesday, Taco Bell Tuesday.

Taco Bell is on fire: Nancy Luna of the OC Register, the nation’s foremost fast-food blogger, reports that Taco Bell has sold over 200 million Doritos Locos Tacos since the product’s launch in March. The Doritoed taco is the brand’s most successful new product ever, and with its success came a 13-percent jump in same-store sales at Taco Bells in the second financial quarter, which sounds impressive but really I have no idea.

Luna sampled two new Doritos Locos Tacos flavors at the Taco Bell test kitchen in Irvine, the Happiest Place on Earth. Click through for her review, or wait for whenever they launch for mine. Taco Bell hasn’t promised a second or third Doritos Locos Taco flavor, but it’s pretty clearly a matter of time. They’ll probably wait until we recover from the Nacho Cheese hook to hit us with the Cool Ranch cross.

With success comes legacy: Not surprisingly given Taco Bell’s growth, this week brings symbols of Mexican-inspired fast-food’s growing global influence. First: In Southern California, the Ventura County star brings word of a handsome longhaired cat named Taco Bell that’s available for adoption. And my, that’s a handsome cat. Taco Bell is 6 years old and he’s a cuddler. He likes to be petted and to have his belly rubbed. Presumably he also likes Taco Bell, but don’t quote me on that. I’ve never owned a cat and have no idea if they should be eating Taco Bell. Do adopt Taco Bell, but do not feed Taco Bell to Taco Bell without first consulting your veterinarian. It might destroy both Taco Bells, Timecop-style.

Second: In the Northern Mariana Islands — easily the most frequently overlooked organized U.S. Territory — a basketball team named KFC/Taco Bell (presumably for a sponsor, but hopefully in loving tribute) exploded for 84 points to dominate Wushin Express, 84-65, in Gualo Rai Invitational Basketball League play. KFC/Taco Bell benefited from 21 points from Ralph Francisco, and from sweet jerseys that I’m pretty sure I could pull off and that would make for a great story, especially if the story were, “Yeah, I write this blog about Taco Bell and this awesome basketball guy from the Northern Mariana Islands found it and sent me his jersey.” Check these out:

Finally: Congrats to Southeastern Missouri Taco Bell employee Tina Bell on the birth of her sun Gunner. As far as I know, neither Glen Bell nor Yum! Foods ever required Taco Bell employees to change their last names to Bell, but they probably should, and this site commends Ms. Bell for pioneering the trend.

Is this woman too pretty for Bethel, Alaska?: At the New York Times, advertising columnist Stuart Elliott investigates a reader’s claim that the following woman looks out of place in Bethel, Alaska:

That is undoubtedly an attractive woman who appears to be enjoying the hell out of her Doritos Locos Taco, and as both the reader and Elliott point out, it’d be pretty bad if the ad agency behind the campaign were employing nefarious tactics in a campaign that came in response to a hoax.

But alas, Elliott reaches out to the agency to learn that “everyone who appeared in the ad were real people in Bethel.” And, really, you knew this: There are beautiful people everywhere, and many of them are reasonable enough to enjoy Taco Bell.

 

Friday Q&A, pt. 3: Food stuff

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Whoa. OK. I’ve had so many sandwiches in Nassau County. I want to say it’s my own eponymous sandwich — Berg’s Pepper Barge — from DeBono’s Deli in Rockville Centre where I worked for several years. But I’m pretty sure it’s still the Full Bird from Busco’s, the sandwich that made me love sandwiches.

In my sandwich pursuits, I’ve tried sandwiches from so many places and so many different types of places, but as far as I’m concerned there’s no place more reliable for great sandwiches than a good Long Island deli. Practically everyone from Long Island (and Westchester, for that matter) has one they rave about, but the staples are the same: plentiful Boar’s Head meat, fresh kaiser rolls and Italian hero bread, and — inevitably — some specialty sandwich including a chicken cutlet and bacon that locals rave about. In fact, I’d be willing to wager that some 75 percent of native Long Islanders reading this blog right now can identify by proper name a specialty sandwich from a local deli featuring chicken cutlet and bacon and describe in detail what distinguishes it from the chicken cutlet and bacon sandwiches at other local delis: American or cheddar cheese, Russian dressing or mayo or ranch or honey mustard, garlic bread or plain, etc.

They’re all delicious because it’s a fundamentally delicious combination. I’m partial to Busco’s version because it’s the one I grew up with and because I think they do a particularly good job of it.
https://twitter.com/vlams/status/239021825873547264

It’s the Cheesy Gordita Crunch, regardless of if it’s actually on the menu. Every decent Taco Bell will make one for you when it’s not.

It might just be you. I personally found the fire-roasted sauce a little disappointing, and I find that it doesn’t fill any obvious need in the taco-sauce repertoire. If I’m getting three tacos now, you can bet I’m dressing one with Salsa Verde, one with Hot and one with Fire: Sweet, Savory, Spicy. Not sure I ever felt I wanted to add smoky to that list.

Honestly? No. From what I understand, that lawsuit was mostly frivolous, and even if it wasn’t it probably wouldn’t have stopped me from eating Taco Bell. I eat Taco Bell because it’s delicious, not because I don’t think it’s going to destroy me from the inside. For all I write about it here, I really don’t eat it that often — especially since I’ve left the suburbs. Eating too much Taco Bell is pretty obviously dangerous no matter how they’re preparing their beef, so I try to moderate my Taco Bell consumption accordingly. And I can’t stop ordering ground-beef stuff because the ground-beef stuff is clearly the best.